


Lovers on screen

by stars_fall_on



Series: Behind the scenes [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Behind the Scenes, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Pining, Rimming, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-09-24 10:59:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 58,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9720710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stars_fall_on/pseuds/stars_fall_on
Summary: What if filming crosses the border to reality? Can friendship turn into real love? Can straight people be gay?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> This is my first fanfiction ever and English isn't my mother tongue, so please be kind :)  
> I'm sure there will be some mistakes, but I think you'll understand what I mean, though.  
> The story is set in season 7 - it runs parallel to it. I tried to make it as realistic as possible, by putting in some real life facts every once in a while  
> I hope you guys enjoy it, I have a lot of fun with the writing and building it up in my head.  
> Please leave comments and/or kudos and let me know how you liked it!  
> Thanks <3
> 
> xxx

Cameron can’t stop smiling. Today is a good day and he was looking foward to it for a really long time now. The whole Shameless crew is going to meet for the next table read of season 7. Cam loves it when all of them are together, because they feel like a big family and have so much fun together. But unfortunately it doesn't happen very often. Most of the time there are only a few of them, who have some scenes together. Whereas the big meetings are rare.  

By now they are done with a few episodes of the new season. Cameron is happy with the development of his character Ian Gallagher. After all the shit he has been through, he lives a stable and good life in season 7. But Cam knows, that the episode of the table read from today will turn Ian's life completely around. In episode 10 Ian is going to meet the love of his life Mickey Milkovich again, after the Southside thug escaped from prison. Cam is nervous, knowing that his acting has to be brilliant. All of their fans are looking forward to their reunion, and he doesn't want to disappoint them at all. And also not Noel. So besides their conversations, which are written for them, he has to lay all of his emotions in his facial expressions and his body language, showing their fans how much Ian has missed Mickey since he's gone. 

But to know, that everything has to be on fucking point, is not the only reason why Cameron is excited. _No_. Today he's going to see Noel again, his buddy and partner on screen. They went through six seasons together, unfortunately they only had a short prison take in the last one together, and became really close friends. And also on screen they have a great chemistry with each other. Fot Cameron, doing scenes with Noel had always been fun, but also brought him to his actorial frontier. Cam loves the challanges that acting with Noel brings with it, which means that the brunet can be very spontaneous in a scene, and Cameron just follows. Their acting is like a good flow and feels completely natural.

Cameron recognizes a little flutter in his stomach, when he walks towards the entrance, of where the table read is set. He is really looking foward to meet him again, he has missed him as a friend and partner. As soon as he steps inside the room he can see him standing in the back, joking with Jeremy.

Although he can only see his back, he notices how muscular he got. His shoulders broad and his thighs perfectly fitted in those dark skinny jeans. Strong arms on each side of his trained body, his hands fisted in the pockets of his pants. Also his ass seems to be more rounder now, his pants bringing every curve into the right spot. The redhead scoffs and shakes his head, trying to get rid of the thought as soon as it comes up.

"HEY!“ he greets him happily, giving him a pat on the back. As soon as Noel turns around, blue eyes melt into his own green ones, while he smiles at him sweetly and wraps his arms around Cameron's neck. The younger one inhales the familiar scent, which gives him a feeling of intimacy and safety. He smirks in the crook of the older ones neck, knowing, that the upcoming episodes are going to be really good now that Noel is finally back.

“Damn, have you grown even bigger, Red?“ Noel chuckles and earns an elbow in his side as return.

“Well, maybe you just start to shrink, old man.“ Cam teases him back.

Yeah, he is really glad to see him back on the set.

As soon as their conversation starts, it has to end. The producers are calling for attention and want them to take their seats and open the script of the tenth episode.

"Hey Noel, we need to celebrate that you're back on the set. After every table read we're going to a bar and have some beers. You joining us?“ Cam asks in a whisper, a whimsical smile on his lips. He can’t deny that he recognizes the charming laugh lines around perfect blue eyes, everytime Noel's face lights up.  
  
"Sure“ the brunet answers, while taking his seat next to Cameron.  
  
It's strange how Cameron has never noticed the high temperature in this room, before. But suddenly a heat creeps up his neck and he is forced to take off his vest.  He spots Noel’s look up and down his body, when the shirt shifts with his movements and reveals some of his prickling skin underneath it. Suddenly it’s getting even hotter.  _Damn._

Cameron opens his script, reading the first sentences with concentrated attention, until he hears Noel whispering: “Hope you practiced a lot for our make-out session?!“

Flabbergasted, the redhead turns his head to face Noel, who winks at him and bites down his lower lip. _Fuck_ , usually Cameron is quick on the trigger, but not today. Today everything seems to be a little different. But _good_ different. He senses his cheeks glowing and mutters a low"Uhm..“ in return.  
  
"Apparently the producers have noticed the potential of our teeth clashings.“ Noel jokes, smiling at him from the side with raised eyebrows.

Cameron is only able to nod, while he feels his cheeks blushing. He didn’t sleep much last night and those weird feelings in his gut must be the results of this.

He tries to focus again, because he doesn’t want to fail in front of his screen-partner and other colleagues. He has to be good now, really good. The chemistry of Ian and Mickey has been special since the beginning of the first season, and he definitely has to cope with it now. But what is he afraid of? Acting with Noel has always been easy. It was never hard to show the required emotions. Even in the painful scenes, like when Terry caught them fucking, or in the kissing scenes they harmonized perfectly.

Cameron takes a deep breath, trying to calm down his nerves. He then starts reading through his first scenes with 'Trevor' and 'Sue'. Excited he turns over to the next page and reminds immediately, which one comes up next – It's the reunion of Ian and Mickey. Inhaling deeply again, he focuses on Ian's emotions and let's himself go.

It works very well. They share some very intense looks during their read, that let some goosebumps crawling up his arms. Everybody in the room seems to be under their spell. They watch and listen carefully, showing, that the Gallavich story has not only touched fans on the outside. Cam is proud of the development of their story. Of course the writers did a good job, but he also knows, that a huge part is dued to Noel and him.

"You’re under my skin man, the fuck can I do? Hm? Can I do?“ Noel's big blue eyes look at him hauntingly.  
  
_Fuck_ , does he have to say something now? He should look down to the sctipt, but can't take his eyes off Noel's beautiful blue ones. With a shaky breath he keeps their gaze locked. He doesn't notice the others in the room anymore, he is completely fixated on Noel. Just when the sighs of his colleagues seem to reach him, he is committed that they do a good job and the nervousness from before is gone. He knows, that when he looks into Noel’s eyes, playing Ian Gallagher is easy. Only Noel’s voice and his soft chuckle tear him away from his trance. "Think about it!“ Noel reads out loud.

The other scenes are going well as well. He doesn’t misspeak but reads through his lines with the required intensity. The producers describe how their kissing scene is going to happen and Cam smirks nervously. His eyes searching for reassurence in Noel's ones, who has his eyebrows raised and smiles back.

 

 

"We fuck like old lovers, yeah?“ Noel laughs, when the table read is over.  
  
"Obviously. That's what written in the script. And you know, what the producers want, the producers get!“ Cam replies, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.  
  
"You better act like we are fucking like young and sexy lovers! My whole family and friends are watching Shameless, I don’t wanna explain our lazy hook up.“ Noel says and darts his tongue out.  
  
Cam bursts out laughing and drapes his arm over Noel's shoulders. “Damn Noel, how I've missed ya!“ 

Together they walk towards the door where the crew is standing. “You guys were GREAT! 'Un-fucking-believable‘ like Mickey Milkovich would say!“ Shanola grins, throwing her arms around the brunet's neck.

"Yeah, thanks. Now that my better half is back, I can act like a pro again!“ Cam replies, squeezing Noel's shoulder and keeping the gaze on him. The latter one shakes his head in amusement and looks embarassed to the ground.

Is there really a blush on Noel's face? And why the fuck does he suddenly notice things like that? Weird. Today is a fucking weird day. But in a fucking good way.   
  
Noel wriggles out of the touches, shifting his weight from his right foot to his left. "Man, you’re embarassing me. Let’s get some beers and praise me afterwards, when I'm tipsy and ready for it.“ Noel smiles, looking Cameron directly in the eyes. Wow, can perfect blue eyes shine even brighter?

Cam shakes his head in disbelieve. What the fuck is wrong with him? Beer. He really needs a beer.

 

 

They arrive at the bar, continuing to laugh and chat a lot. With every drunk beer the mood gets more cheerful and the conversations funnier.  
  
“Damn I've missed you guys. Feels like I'm home again!“ Noel says with a wide grin on his face. Cam can't restrain himself from swinging his arms around his buddy's shoulders again. “CHEERS!“ he shouts and raises his glass.“You were away for too long! We missed ya too!“. Both take a sip of their beers. Just as Cameron asks himself, if his hand is resting on Noel’s shoulder for a little too long now, he feels the brunet putting his arms around his shoulders too. Damn, what is going on with them? They haven’t touched each other this much before, at least not for that long. Maybe they have missed each other more than they were aware of. But Cameron doesn't want to think about it too much. Now that Noel is here, even if it’s only for a short time, he wants to enjoy every minute of it, and wants to do, eveything that feels right. When he turns around and feels Noel's hand slipping from his shoulder and trailing over his back, he fights a lump that builds in his throat.

More beer. This is _definitely_ what he needs now.

 

 

They drink much and are in high spirits. Everybody is on the dancefloor, except Cameron and Noel, who stand talking beside the bar, having a lot to tell each other after so long.

“Come on guys, join us!“ Emmy shouts, while rocking to an old ACDC song. Without thinking, Cameron turns to Noel smilingly and reaches out his hand. "May I ask for this dance?“

Noel bursts out laughing and pats Cameron’s hand away. “I think after a few beer you have more in common with Ian Gallagher than you'd like to, Red.“

“Oh yeah? Says Mr. Milkovich in person.“ Both of them giggle and join their friends on the dancefloor. They start rocking their hips and looping their arms around in the air, while their eyes never leave each other.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! You are GALLAVICH!“ a girl screams and heads towards them. “You two are the hottest couple on the show! Can I take a photo, please?“ she asks excited, already stepping infront of them with her phone in one hand. Both nod their agreement, because it's always a pleasure to meet some fans. Cam puts his arm around Noel’s waist and presses a kiss on his friend's cheek, noticing his soft and warm skin, that smelled far too good. 

Shit, why does he have to kiss him now? The girl said something about kissing, right? She did? Or didn't she? Oh _fuck_.. no she didn't! But in the moment Cameron wants to turn his head away, he hears a  _click_  and then the screaming again “Oh my god, how cute! Thank you so much.“ She turns around and leaves hyper excited the perplexed boys behind.

Before Cameron's pulse is able to regenerate, he hears a familiar voice calling for him “Hey!" 

"Hey Ruby!“ he says with a smile on his face. Ruby is new to the Shameless cast and plays 'Sierra' in season 7, Lip’s new girlfriend. Cameron liked Ruby from the beginning, they have a really good chemistry and a lot of fun together. Ruby is hot and Cameron feels that there is something in between them. Both are single and find the other one obviously attractive. So Cameron gave in and met her sometimes after filming. They then went for a drink and talked about their jobs most of the times. Once he kissed her and it was really nice. But Cameron doesn’t want to rush things. They have to work together and it could be bad for their acting, if things get weird between them. So they agreed in taking things slow.

At todays table read though, he noticed her staring at him. He couldn’t go for a flirt, because he wanted to draw his full attention to Noel, or rather to Ian and Mickey.

“You were great today at the table read. Emma was right about your chemistry with Noel! Can't wait to see you guys acting!“ she says, embracing him in a tight hug. They start dancing slowly and Cameron puts his arms around her waist.

“Thanks, but acting with Noel is easy, he is such a great actor, I don’t have to do a lot, just responding.“ he replies and nods his head towards his coworker, where blue eyes are staring at him. He locks his gaze for a moment, feeling a shiver running through his body. Noel looks a little shocked, or maybe it’s just what Cameron thinks. Maybe he is just wondering about Ruby and him, because Cam hasn’t told him about her yet. But then Noel smiles again and raises his beer bottle, Cameron mirroring his actions.

 

 

After a few hours just a small group of them is left. Jeremy, Emmy, Steve, Shanola, Noel and Cam. But at 4 o’clock in the morning Cameron decides that it’s time for him to leave and get back to the hotel. He feels the alcohol running through his veins and he really needs some sleep now. Although they have a day off tomorrow, Cameron wants to practice a little for the upcoming scenes.

He tells his colleagues goodbye and is ready to leave, when he feels a hand gripping his arm. "I think I’m coming with you!“ Noel tells him and Cameron's heart speeds up just a little. So little, that he can pretend it doesn't even happened.

They tell their goodbies and leave the bar. Since all Shameless actors and actresses all stay in the same hotel, they have a common path to walk.

“I'm totally trashed, _fuck_!“ Cam mentions, having difficulties to walk straight.

“Yeah I could see that. You rolled your hips, like you were dancing on a fucking stage in the Fairytail. Told ya, too much Ian inside of you!“ Noel chuckles.  
  
“Hey, don’t say it like it’s something bad. Ian is a tough guy, remember?“ Cam replies with a smirk.  
  
“Of course. Well, but there is a part of you, that is defenitely _not_ Ian Gallagher.“ Noel mumbles and Cam raises his brows, not getting what Noel wants to say. After a few seconds of silence the brunet adds “Saw you dancing with Ruby for a long time. _Hot_!“

Cameron peers at him while the older man bites down his lip and looks to the ground. “Yeah.. it's nothing serious, just hanging out a little bit! We‘ll see.“ Cameron can’t explain the feeling that he wants to make this thing with Ruby seem less important to Noel than it already is. He just sees no need to tell Noel a lot about Ruby. Not until they are in an official relationship.  
  
“Alright Ian Monaghan, let's get your drunken ass to bed! Good for you, that Sunday is our free day.“ Noel says and opens the door to their hotel.

“Right, but I wanna run some lines tomorrow. Need to be well enough prepared for our acting on monday.“ Cameron remarks. Now that Noel is back on set he wants to be even better.  
  
“Mind if I join you? Maybe we can act out a little bit more of our scenes.“ Noel asks, when they arrive at their floor.  
  
“Of course, would be great!" Cam answers and feels happy about the fact, that he's going to see the handsome man in a few hours again. When he realizes, what he just thought, he shakes his head in disbelieve. "Need my bed now! Good night, see ya tomorrow!" Cameron yawns.  
  
“Great, bye!“ Noel says, before Cameron heads to his room, aware of the little flutter in his chest. _Fucking alcohol._

 

Damn, he feels drunk. He wants to collapse on his bed without taking his clothes off, but he forces himself to get undressed and lays down only in his boxers. He tries to fall asleep, but he can’t. What did Noel mean by saying dancing with Ruby was hot? He looked hot at dancing, Ruby looked hot (at dancing?) or they looked hot as a couple? Because he noticed Noels strange look on his face, when he saw them together. It took him a little his breath away. Why does this has a meaning for Cameron? Is he jealous, that Noel thinks Ruby is hot? Because this is for sure what a lot of people think. It is because she  _is_ hot.

Besides Noel has a longtime girlfriend – Layla. And he seems to be happy with her, so he probably won’t compete with Cameron. But deep in his heart Cam knows, that he isn’t afraid of someone taking Ruby away. Hm.. maybe he should stop thinking and try to get some sleep. He wants to be good tomorrow, running the lines with Noel.

Yeah. Tomorrow. Noel. Lines. Tomorrow. Noel…

And soon he falls asleep with a content smile on his face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Thanks for reading and leaving kudos and comments.
> 
> I try to update at least weekly.
> 
> Hold on, it's getting hot ;)
> 
> Have fun!

_Knock, knock, knock._

Silence.

_Knock, knock. knock._

What the fuck?

_Knock, knock, knock._

Is he dreaming?

"Cam? Oh come on drunk ass, get the fuck up!“ he hears Noels voice yelling through the door.

Ouch, his head hurts like a motherfucker!

He sits up in his bed, resting his body against the headboard and tries to remember where he is and why the fuck everything is so dizzy. He puts his feet on the floor, proud to have at least done this, when he hears an annoyed Noel calling for him again. "Hey douchbag, it’s not my fault your trashed ass wanted to run the lines today, so don’t leave me hanging here outside.“

Cam growls in aggrivation, before his mind tells him, that it's _Noel_ who's waiting for him. "Coming!“ is all he manages to say, stumbling towards the door. He swings it open and sees the older man with two coffees and a paperbag standing infront of him. Only when he notices Noel looking up and down his body and swallowing hard, he recognizes that he is only in his boxers. His heart skips a beat at the look Noel gives him.

"Too early!“ Cam mumbles, going back to his closet to put some sweatpants and a shirt on.

"It’s fucking 11 am, you've had enough time to sleep snow white!“ Noel chuckles.  
  
"You‘re already in Mickey Milkovich mode or why are you talking like a Southside trash, huh?“ Cam smirks at Noel.  
  
"Yeah, it’s been too long since I did the last Mickey scene. Need to practice a lot now, firecrotch.“ Noel blinks at Cam and licks with his tongue over his thick lips . It‘s the first time on that day, that a warm and comfortable feeling spreads through Cameron’s body." Anyway.. got breakfast and coffee, we need to get you back to life.“ Noel says, shoving the paper bag in Cameron's hands.  
  
"Mhmm.. sounds great. Mind if I shower first? 5 minutes." Cam responds, placing the breakfast on the table by the couch.  
  
Noel nods. "Sure. Don’t wanna get drunk anyways because of your alcoholic smell.“

Eight minutes later, Cameron comes back fully dressed in jeans and a shirt and joins Noel at the couch. He grabs one cup of coffee from the table infront of them and Noel hands him a croissant.  
  
"Thanks man!“ Cam smacks with his mouth already stuffed with the fluffy sweet.  
  
Noel looks at him with raised brows. "You wanna run the lines right after breakfast or shall we play some video games first, to get you real sober and do it later?“  
  
"Yeah, latter sounds like a plan to me!“ the redhead returns with a grin. More quality time with Noel is always highly appreciated. The warm feeling from before is right back in his chest. Spending some time with Noel makes him happy. Damn, one week ago he didn’t know that he has missed this guy so much. Sure now and then they have called each other to ask how they are, but he only recognized that he missed him a lot, when he noticed the excited feeling of seeing Noel in one week at the table read again. Maybe this turns out to be a better friendship than expected.

 

 

They play video games like they used to do during filming earlier seasons. It's their thing. Hanging out on free days, playing video games and running through their lines together. 

“You are such a cheater, you didn’t even change a bit!“ Cam shouts, putting the contoller aside.  
  
“I didn't cheat. You just can't handle that I beat your pale ass!“ Noel grins, obviously happy about his fake triumph.  
  
Cam smirks. “Fuck off, we both know who's the true winner! Or let me say: the winner of the hearts." He wants to shove Noel by his shoulders, but the smaller one sees it coming and moves a bit away with his chest, causing Cameron to fall onto his lap.

“Jesus Cam, that another thing you have in common with Ian? Can't wait to get on me, huh?“ Noel blinks down at him, a big smile on his face.  
  
Cameron shudders slightly as he tries to get back into a sitting position. He feels some heat creeping up his neck, painting his cheeks in some shades of red. “Ha Ha! Yeah well, that’s the key word. I think I'm ready to go through our scenes now.“ He really hopes Noel doesn't recognize his blush.  
  
“Okay Gallagher, let's do this then! You just wanna read through it or also wanna play?“ Noel asks, shrugging nonchalantly.  
  
Cameron looks at Noel thoughtfully, weighing the options. He really wants to be well prepared. Wants their fans to be satisfied with the long awaited reunion scene. They owe it all of them, since they have waited so long for them to get back together and get some passionate love scenes between Ian and Mickey. “Hm.. I think we should do both. Maybe read through it first and then play it?“ Nervousness starts taking over him at the thought of playing those scenes. It's definitely better to practice them now, so they are well prepared for the filming tomorrow. 

Noel agrees “Yeah that sounds like a plan. We need to take all of our hearts in those scenes, you know?“  
  
Cam huffs a laugh. “Not only our hearts, Noel. Our whole fucking mouth. There has to be a lot of tongue, a lot of touching, a lot of biting and fumbling.“ Cameron says and recognizes the flutter in his stomach again. As he notices Noel‘s confused look that goes from his eyes to the floor and back up again, he adds: “For the Gallavich fans, of course.“  
  
Noel blushes as he nods, which doesn't decimates the fluttery thing in his gut. _Damn_.  “Of course. For the Gallavich fans!"

Their gazes lock and for a few moments there is an awkward silence hanging in the room. A moment for Cameron to realize, that there is a nervous look behind those blue eyes; a moment to realize, what he said about what they should do now; a moment to realize, that he's suddenly fucking afraid of kissing Noel. But why? He has kissed him before and he has also kissed a lot of other actresses by now. It's the job of an actor. He needs to get it together.

Before he is able to find an acceptable answer to that question, Noel speaks up: “So we'll see us at the bleachers first, have some small talk, kiss almost, then I'll ask you to come with me and tell you to think about it. Later that night you come to see me and we have our first kiss. You tell me, that you have your shit together and you have a fucking boyfriend. Then I ask you, what you're doing here then and you rush foward and kiss me. You take off your shirt, I undo your belt, get off my jeans and turn around. You get off your jeans too and then we fuck like  _young_ lovers, right?“

Cam bites his upper lip and nods, fumbling with his hands in his pockets.  
  
He looks at Noel, who claps his hands and gesticulates for Cameron to take his script. “Alright, let's do this then!“ Noel takes a deep breath, holding it for a moment while staring at the younger one. And there it is again. Something in his eyes, that makes Cameron not able to turn away, and certainly not able to move. Instead he has to stare at the brunet with some creepy but pleasant feelings in his gut. He shakes his head, trying to get rid of the emotions that are flooding his body and decides to start with the first scene, so to not think about it any longer.

 

 

It goes quite well, in a few situations they improved the intensity of the scene a bit by helping each other with their mimic and gestures. Even if it's sometimes only trifles, like a short sigh, a nibbling of the noses, a fleeting glance, it can have a big influence on a scene.

“Alright Red, that was good. Now we play along with it. You ready?“  
  
Cameron takes a deep breath and counts to five. He tries to focus on _Ian_ and _his_ feelings for the fugitive. “Yeah, I'm ready!“

Both boys take their position in the opposite corners of the hotel room. First they do the first reunion scene at their spot, shooting each other intense glances. Fuck, even now at the tryout there's a huge tension that fills the room, getting heavier with every yearning look. Although everything is played and Cameron knows exactly what Noel is doing, he gets goosebumps all over his body from the glances of the Southside thug.

Noel's hands are fisted in the collar of his jacket and Cameron really hopes he doesn't recognize the heavy pounding in his chest. “You're under my skin man, the fuck can I do? Huh? Can I do?“ He looks him deeply in the eyes, losing himself in the wonderful blue around his blown out pupils.  
  
Fuck, does he has to kiss him now? Or later? A kiss now would definitely feel right. For _Ian_ of course. Ian would really like to kiss those thick red lips and melt with his tongue. At least this is what Cameron guesses. But before he has the chance to make a move, he feels Noel‘s warm and soft hand on his left cheek.“Think about it.“ Mickey tells him and turns around to leave.

Noel doesn't say something afterwards, he stays in his role and prepares for the next scene. So does Cameron. He inhales deeply. It's time for the real reunion scene – their first kiss and sex after a long time.  _Great._ Cam recognizes that it's getting hot in the room.  
  
Noel takes his new position, opposite of Cameron in the room, when the younger one fumbles in the pockets of his pants to get a cigarette out, putting it in his mouth without lightning. 'For the Gallavich fans‘ he thinks and starts acting like he's smoking for real.

Noel makes his way over to him, mumbling his line “Knew you'd come. Knew you'd come. Come here!“

And then Cameron feels soft lips pressed against his own, immediately recognizing the familiar taste, he definitely likes. Sometimes it's awkward to kiss a filmpartner, but not so with Noel, which is funny, because he is a guy. Cameron has never thought that he would be so comfortable with kissing another man.

Cameron swears he feels his heart jumping up into his throat as he feels Noel‘s, no _Mickey‘s_ little bit of wet hands moving up to hold his neck. The younger boy cups Noel‘s cheeks and lets the kiss deepen with more urgency. It's getting rough and hungry very fast. He feels Noel's tongue moving against his own and it makes his head spin. He tries to explore every inch of Noel's mouth with his tongue, tries to get everything sweet out of it. He can feel Noel tense up as he does, can hear him breathe in sharply through his nose.

He's not sure how long the kiss lasts, until he recognizes, that Ian has to stop it. So he takes all the energy that it needs and pushes Noel away.

He sees Noels swollen red lips and it nearly makes him rush foward and kiss the guy again, but then he hears himself saying: “What, you think my life hasn't moved on since you were locked up, Mickey?“  
  
"No, I just thought that you'd be down for me since the whole reason I did time was going after the bitch who tried to ruin you.“ Mickey explains.  
  
"I'm not pissing away my life...“ Cameron stutters, well aware of what comes next.  
  
“Stop!“ Mickey murmurs and then Noel's still wet lips are on his mouth again. But this time there is no teeth clashing or kissing each other hungrily. This time it's sweet and gentle, with almost only their tongues touching.

He feels Noel breaking the kiss shortly and can't deal with the abrupt loss of contact. He leans back in, licking at Noel's tongue with his own. It sends a shivering wave down his spine, before he reminds himself of the lines he should speak and manages to push him away. “Fuuuuck,“ he growls, “I have my shit together, Mick. And I have a fucking boyfriend!“  
  
He looks at Mickey's surprised laugh and admires the way he rubs with his thumb over his upper lip. “Boyfriend? Okay. Whatcha doin here then?“

Cameron knows exactly what's coming now. He doesn't even need to think about it, because his body acts on it's own. He rushes forward, tosses Noels' jacket to the ground, cups his face in both hands and kisses him once again deeply. He notices Noel‘s hands moving to his waist and then foward to his belt. He breaks the kiss, when Noel fumbles with his belt to open it. Cameron presses his forehead against the older one's, when he hears him saying: “Tell me goodbye.“

He shoves Mickey backwards,  exhausted panting for air from their hard kissings. Noel's or Mickey's or _whoever_ is breathing heavily too, eyes are shining as he looks at Cameron or Ian or _whoever_  , in an almost painful seducing way. That's when Cameron pulls his shirt over his head and throws it onto the floor.

Noel's hands are immediately back on Cameron‘s cheeks, while he kisses him hungrily again. It prompts a soft sound out of Cameron, which isn't planned.  
  
When Noel is taking off his own jeans, Cameron realizes, that Noel is now standing there only in his boxers and suddenly recognizes a warm and familiar feeling raising in his gut. He strips down, also only in his underwear now.

The expression on his friend's face changes to determined and something is different. Cameron can feel it after only a second.  
  
Now would be the time, when Noel should turn around and they would fake a fuck. But the brunet doesn't, and instead leans in and kisses him again. There's something so hungry about it, fierce, and Cameron closes his eyes as he reciprocates.

Maybe Noel has a new idea for this scene and will turn around every second. Cameron will just stay in his role in the meantime, letting Noel do whatever he thinks is right for the scene. Meanwhile he will also do, whatever he is sure _Ian_ would want to do. So he places his hands on Noels hips and tuggs him closer.

Noel still won't turn around. On the contrary, he presses his body closer and runs his fingers up through Camerons hair. _Holy shit._ A moan eacapes Cameron‘s lips and he feels his dick harden more and more with every second.

 _Fuck_ , this isn't the plan. This is not written in the script and definitely not written in his own plan of life. But he just can't stop and ask the smaller one what the fuck has gotten into them. He just _can't_ stop.

He feels his dick touching Noel's groin and is afraid that Noel is going to push him away any second just to shout at him. But that's not what happens.  
  
Instead he feels a friction on his cock. Fuck. Noel is hard too, so hard, that Cameron's brain is ready to explode. He runs his tongue over Noel's lips, before biting down with a sense of urgency. He pushes him backwards until Noel bumps into the wall.

The redhead feels Noel's hands sliding down to his ass and Cameron can't help and let another low pleased groan escape his mouth. Noel inhales it deeply and kisses Cameron like it's all he has ever been doing. The older man is moaning softly against his mouth and pushing his tongue inside.  
  
Cameron runs his fingers up and down Noel‘s body and when Noel mirrors his actions it's mind-blowing. He trembles slightly and slowly slides his hands up to Noel's hips to get a better grip. He starts grinding up against the other hard dick, getting a nice friction.

"Oh _fuck_ ," he breathes immediately and realizes that he sounds already completely wrecked. Noel moans and breathes heavily into the crook of Cam's neck, where he lets his hands rest. He places open-mouthed kisses along Cameron's throat which causes another groan from the readhead and he swallows dryly.

Cam moves in closer to stand between his legs and picks up the pace rutting against Noel. The blue-eyed boy grabs Cam‘s hair and crushes their mouths together. _Fuck_ , has dry-humping anyone ever felt so good? Damn, this feels so much better than he remembers, all sloppy kisses and fumbling, impatient grinding.

Noel arches against the friction and moans loudly and _holy shit_ , if Noel‘s moaning isn‘t the hottest thing Cameron has ever heard. He is so hard, he can’t barely think straight.

Fuck, is this really happening? He firms his grip on Noels ass to grind harder against him, causing desperate sounding moans from Noel‘s throat. Cameron recognizes, that their breathes are getting louder and heavier and it's not long before he can feel himself reaching the breaking point.

"Fuck, I'm gonna―" he starts, but is cut off by another impatient kiss from Noel. "Shit“ he breathes, panting as he presses their bodies as close together as he possibly can. He rolls his hips two more times and that’s all he needs to finish.

He is coming hard, squeezing his eyes shut, mouth gaping open and hips stuttering. He feels Noel‘s hand tighten it’s grip in his hair and opens his eyes again. As he sees the wrecked look on Noel‘s face, he starts rubbing their still clothed cocks together again with more roughness and speed to help the smaller boy finishing.

Noel hisses a sharp breath between his teeth and as Cameron bites down Noel's swollen and thick lips, he feels him coming hard too. He digs his fingernails into Cameron's neck, and muffles his moan in the younger one's skin.  Cameron waits until his own orgasm subsides, before he takes a step back, looking embarassed to the ground.

He can’t think straight. He hears Noels breathings getting slower, taking all of his courage to look back up again. As soon as their gazes lock, Noel peers away. "Fuck!“ he growls, sounding more like a sharp breath.

Some moments of silence pass, where both man put their clothes back on. After what feels like an eternity, Noel finally speaks up, his voice full of guilt: "I’m.. I'm not gay!“ 

Cameron shakes his head. "Me neither!“ Both can’t look in each others eyes, avoiding the other one's eyes determind.

" _Fuck_!“ Noel says again, this time much louder. He runs his thumb up and down his lips and starts walking nervously around the room. "I have a girlfriend for more than ten years! The fuck happened right now?“

When Cameron finally watches him, he can see the panic in Noels eyes and gets nervous too. "I.. I.. I don’t know man! Maybe we got carried away?!“  
  
"WE GOT CARRIED AWAY? Are you fucking serious? It’s not like we kissed a few seconds longer. We dry-humped until we both came in our boxers! Two fucking _straight_ guys!“ Noel yells wrought up.

Cameron views tears in those deep blue eyes. Shit, he doesn’t want that to happen. He doesn’t want them to feel uncomfortable with each other. He needs to fix this. Needs to calm Noel down. So he makes a move towards his friend, trying to touch his shoulders. But the other one avoids it and steps aside. "Don’t touch!“

"Noel listen.. I.. I really don’t know what happened right now. I’m just as confused as you are about it. But I think… well.. there was a lot of tension between us since yesterday. Maybe we built the whole Gallavich reunion up for a bit too much in our heads. And we just... needed a release, needed to get rid of the tension. Maybe this is what it was. We both just needed a release and gave it to us?“ It's the best explanation Cameron has.

Noel nods furious. He still paces up and down the room without aim. He scratches his scalp with the left hand and takes a deep breath: “Okay, I don't wanna talk or think about it now! I'm sorry. We'll see us tomorrow for the shooting, alright?" He takes his jacket and heads to the door. "Bye." he mumbles, before he leaves the room.

Cameron feels his heart drop and his stomach twist not in a good way. He tries to suppress all of the thoughts about it, which mostly works during the day. But at night he lays in bed awake, the memories from before haunting him.

What the fuck had happened? He knows for sure that he isn't gay. But this felt so... _normal_ , like there was no other way than kissing him. It didn't feel anything wrong in the moment. Only afterwards, when he noticed the shocked look on Noel's face. But the feeling he had during their make-out was so… _intense_! He never felt anything like this before. And the kiss with Ruby.. well it wasn’t anything like this.  
  
How should they be able to film this scene tomorrow? There will be this awkward mood between them. Fuck, he should talk to Noel before the shooting again. Tomorrow morning. He will tell him that it doesn’t have to happen again and after tomorrow, they will never talk about it anymore. They don't need to make a weird thing out of it. It was just some release, which was okay. Yeah, what happened was _okay_ , in some strange way _okay_. At least it was somehow  _okay_ for him….

Well, he can also think, that nothing has ever felt this good. But _okay_ is also a good expression for this.

And with this in his mind, he drifts to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my story.  
> Every hit, kudo and comment is highly appreciated. :)
> 
> xxx


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this story and leaving kudos or/and comments.  
> It's urging me on to continue with writing and it really makes me happy!
> 
> So thank you!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> This time it's written from Noel's POV
> 
> Have fun :)
> 
> xxx

(NOEL'S POV)

“FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!“ is all Noel can think about. There are only fuck's going around in his head. What the  _fuck_  has happened?

Does it really have something to do with the Gallavich Boom? Because yeah, the Boom was a really, really big _boom._  All of a sudden, their character names were shipped together to one word: _Gallavich_. And they got their own hashtag, where a lot of interviews, videos and photos from the two of them are linked to it and which are reblogged from their fans steadily.

When Noel decided to leave the show for making another movie, there was a huge wave of reactions. 10.000 Gallavich fans signed a petition to bring him back to Shameless, cause they were not happy with Ian‘s and Mickey‘s ending. And as Noel started to think about Ian‘s and Mickey‘s storyline, it got bigger and bigger in his head. He is sure about the fact, that Ian is the one for Mickey and also vice versa. They've gone through so much shit together, but it never changed their feelings for another. They deserve to be endgame.

So maybe Cameron is right. Maybe it has something to do with his wishes for Gallavich. _Maybe_.

But _maybe_ there is a little bit more? Because he recognized his excited feeling about working with Cameron again long before he saw him at the table read.

It felt great being a part of the Shameless family again, sitting next to Cameron and slip into the old behavior of having fun and hanging out. It was like he never had left the show. Although something has changed. Something someone other wouldn't even notice. But Noel did. From the moment they saw each other again. He noticed it and it bothered him.

They have never touched this much before. And then Cameron's kiss on his cheek... Well, but that's not the thing that bugged or still bugs him. _No._ It is the feeling he gets in his stomach, when the redhead is around. Something he hasn't felt in a long time. Something he can't address.

So he tried his best to ignore it, to lock it away and not question it until the shoot is over. Or well, _until today._ Great job, Noel! Now he has to ignore a whole lot more.

 _Fuck_ , he is really happy with Layla and he is for sure  _not_ gay. And all he knows about Cameron latterly is, that he is building something like a relationship with Ruby.

 _Ruby_. Her name causes another new and weird feeling in his gut, but this time a completely different one. A bad one.

Yeah, his feelings for Cameron are just in a platonic way, of course Noel, of course! A platonic way plus dry-humping - _perfect._

Noel lays eye rolling in his bed. He can't understand what happened. He just can't. Maybe it's better not to talk about it again, avoid Cameron and just film the stupid scenes tomorrow in one take. And then avoid Cameron again. Yeah, that's the plan.

Noel knows it's not the best plan he has ever had, but it's enough for tonight, to find his way to sleep.

Well, but Cameron has a completely different plan..

 

 

 

Noel hears a loud and determined knocking at the door. He gets up, puts his sweatpants and a tanktop on and heads to the door. He hopes to find anybody else, instead of...

Of course it has to be him! And there is this feeling again. _Shit._

“Morning“ Cameron greets, looking beautifully and relaxed as ever, as if nothing weird had happened yesterday.  
  
“Hey!“ he responds, standing inside the doorframe and blocking the way.  
  
“Can I come in and talk to you?“ Cameron asks with those big puppy eyes, nobody can resist. But Noel will. He  _so_ will!  
  
“I don’t think that it's a good idea! We'll see each other later at the shooting, okay?“ He tries to keep cool, but registers the sound of his voice, letting him know, that he fails completely.  
  
“Well, if you don't let me in I'll talk to you from the corridor and I don't know how many people are going to listen. So? Come on Noel, don't make it worse already!“ Cameron begs.

And there his brilliant plan vanishes into thin air..

He swings the door open, to let Cameron in and shuts it right behind him.

“Noel, listen...“ he hears Cameron starting, but doesn't really want to listen to the doofus right now. He _can't_ listen.  
  
“No Cameron _look_ , it's fine. Let's just leave this behind, okay? I think I was too much in Mickey‘s role and let his feelings take over me. It wasn't professional and I'm sorry for it. I think I can deal myself with this and go on like nothing happened. So can you?“

He looks straight in Cameron's eyes and sees some shining fading away. Cameron breaks their locked gaze, looking down to his feet. He exhales through his nose, lips firmly pressed together.

After a few moments, in which Noel really wants to go and hug him to smell the sweet scent of the redhead again, Cam finally looks up. Green meets blue. “Yeah sure. I just came with the same offer. So nothing weird between us, right?“

“Sure“ Noel reassures him, feeling his heart drop, but decides to go for a hug this time. He tries not to breathe though, doesn't want to make it weird again. Luckily it's only a short hug and as soon as it's over, Cameron leaves.

Noel has enough time now to  _not_ think about this weird situation..

 

 

 

At work everything is fine so far. They've shooted the scenes under the bleachers and were told they make a good job. Noel is relieved. They are professionals at work and they have proven it again today. He is really happy about that. It's bad that what happened yesterday made things awkward between Cam and him, but it would be even worse, if it has a bad influence on their work.

“Guys, come over here!" John the producer waves for them, both stumbling towards him. "Now it's time to do the kissing and sex scene. You ready?“he asks.

Noel takes a deep breath. The time has come. He shares a look with the redhead and both nod. “Of course!“ Cameron agrees, shrugging nonchalantly.  
  
“Yeah, let's do this!“ Noel agrees, wanting to get this done real quick. They take their positions and a deep breath, before John calls again.

“Action!“

Noel comes up the stairs and heads towards Cameron. He speaks his learnt lines, before they crush their lips together.

And _fuck_ , as soon as their lips connect there is this feeling again. Heat is rising in his body and he recognizes himself shivering, when Cameron grabs his neck. No not Cameron - _Ian_!

This time the taller one breaks the kiss much quicker than he did yesterday, exactly when Noel starts losing himself in those soft lips.

 _Shit,_ he needs to concentrate.

They did the short dialogue until they kiss again. There is tongue. A lot of tongue. And the feeling he gets, when they let their slippery muscles dance, goes directly to his dick. _Fuck_! He really hopes nobody recognizes his building boner. Espescially not the redhead infront of him. He tells himself to concentrate again and to keep in mind that they are doing their job, so that it's going to flag on it's own.

Thankfully, there's another break from the kiss. Noel really needs this time to gasp for some air, while Ian tells him about the boyfriend thing. He takes a few deep breaths, before he asks his lover on screen "Whatcha doin here then? Hm?" And then they kiss again. Cameron cups Noel‘s face with both hands, while Noel remembers painfully, what happened yesterday. Goosebumps are creeping all over his body, while their tongues slide against each other and his dick gets even harder.

Cameron has already tossed his jacket away, making it his turn to undo his belt and strip down to his boxers. He fumbles at the younger one's belt and feels his own forehead pressed against Cam‘s. He feels the heavy breathing on his face, the warmth against his body. But these are not the only things he is feeling right now.... _holy shit_!

This time Noel turns around, before Cameron‘s hand brushes a strand from his face. The brunet doesn’t know if it’s written in the script or not, but he mutters an almost inaudible " _Fuck_ “, before biting hard on his lips.

This is getting really intense again and he just wants to leave, painfully aware that he can’t. He has to stay in his role and fake a fucking with the guy who drives him completely insane with each of his touches. He swallows hard, as he feels Cameron‘s heavy breathings in his neck and reaches back to grab Cameron‘s ass and pull him even closer to him.

Immediately Cameron starts with the fake thrusting, rubbing his cock up and down the crack of Noel's ass. There's still the hot breathings in the crook of his neck, while he feels their fingers interwine. One hand of Cameron is holding his, while the other one has a tight grip on his hips. But then this hand brushes a little bit fowards, towards Noel‘s already pulsating cock and he can feel a slight touch through his boxers.

This is when Noel knows, that he can’t take it any longer. He is sure his chest is going to explode every second, just because of this little touch. His heart races ten times faster than usual. The orgasm that is building in his gut makes him afraid to come untouched every moment. Noel just wants to scream, when finally he hears the producer calling "Cut!“ and Cameron backs off of him.

"Great! You two did a really great job! No need for a second take. Thank you guys!“ John congratulates them.

Noel is quickly picking up his stuff and heads straight to the dressing room. He changes his clothes in seconds and walks out. He needs to get away as fast as he can. _Now_.

 

 

 

Noel is almost running back to the hotel and into his room. As soon as he arrives, he swings the door open and heads straight to the fridge to grab a beer, drowning it with only a few gulps. Noel keeps telling himself to calm down, sitting down on the couch as the first right step. He closes his eyes, inhaling deep and slow. He really needs to relax, maybe he should try to meditate. He concentrates on his breathings and counts to ten, when he is disturbed by a harsh knocking on the door.

 _Fuck_. He remembers this knocking very well from the morning. He weighs his options, if he should open the door, or stay silent and pretend not to be 'at home'.

"Noel open the door. You know I'm going to talk to you through it as well.“ he hears the younger boy saying.

Due to the fact that having listeners would probably make everything worse, he gets up and opens the door begrudgingly. Before he is able to say something, Cameron is already storming in his room. And this time Cam is the one pacing up and down the room aimlessly.

Noel shuts the door and walks to the kitchen counter, when Cameron stops infront of him. Emerald green eyes gouge straight into his own. "You left pretty quick! Couldn’t even find you in the dressing room. Thought maybe you wanna grab some beer with me and talk a little bit.“  
  
Noel scratches his scalp "Yeah.. No.. Actually I just wanted to relax and hang on the couch.“  
  
The younger one huffs a sarcastic laugh "Aah _okay_. So everythings fine then? There’s nothing weird going on between us?“

Noel tries to suppress every feeling which arises in his stomach and nods his head as an agreement. "Right,“ he confesses, “everythings alright!“

Cameron takes a step foward, closer to Noel and  _fuck_ if Noel doesn't recognize the prickling in his gut. He is caged between the kitchen counter and the taller boy, who is so close by now, that if he would tilt his head just a little bit upwards, their foreheads would touch. He feels him breathing on his skin and it sends a shivering wave through his body.

"BULLSHIT!“ Cameron says with determination in his voice.

Noel looks at him flabbergasted, his eyebrows reaching up, before Cam explains himself further. "You had a hard-on during the scene!“ His face so close now, that their noses are already touching. It's more than Noel can take. He can't breathe.

He pushes Cameron away, shaking his head enraged. "NO I had _not!_ “ Noel defends himself.  _Shit_ , the redhead had recognized it.

There is another sarcastic laugh coming from the younger one. " _OH COME ON!_ I felt it.“

Noel blushes, looking embarassed to the ground. There's no way out. He needs to change his tactics. He nods slightly "Yeah okay, let’s be honest then,  _Cam._ _YOU HAD ONE TOO!_ Your boner was pressed against my ass cheeks.“ He can’t look at him. This is too weird.

Some seconds pass, before he hears Cameron‘s soft and calming voice "Yeah that’s right. But I’m not denying it and I’m not ashamed of it!“

Noel is still looking to the ground, noticing Cameron's feet reducing the distance between them. He inhales deeply, pulling all his coolness together and looks straight and determined into the big puppy eyes. "How can you not be ashamed of it when you’re not gay?“ he dares to ask, his voice almost inaudible.  
  
Cameron shrugs. "I don’t know. I  _really_ don’t know what’s going on, Noel. But when we touch and kiss it doesn’t feel strange to me. Yes, I’m not gay, but this feels so…. _natural._ Like it has to be! Maybe it’s something that we just need right now.“ His voice is low and Noel thinks he sees pleasure in those green eyes. Their heads are only a few inches apart.

“I...I have a girlfriend for years. And before I came here I was fucking happy with her. Now I have to doubt everything, just because we fucking dry-humped yesterday, and I get a boner just from thinking about it. I cheated on her and I feel fucking sorry and guilty, because she's ever been perfect to me and never did anything wrong. I can't do something like that to her again. I just.. wanna run and don't think about it anymore!“ The words burst out of Noel's chest, making himself stunned about it.

Cameron shoots a glance to the ceiling and nods. “Yeah, the 'I don't wanna think and talk about it'-shit worked very well at the set today. Look Noel, I understand. I understand every fucking word you are saying, cause it's also a new experience to me and I'm fucking scared of it too. But what's your plan? You don't wanna think or talk about it, but this won't work. It _won't_. You _will_ think about it, probably a lot. And you are going to avoid me, cause you already do. So everytime we'll see each other, the sexual tension between us will increase and will make the situation and working together a lot worse. Then you'll fly back home and will think about it even more with a lot of 'what if's' going round in your head. But… but it doesn't need to be that way. Let's do what we want to do, maybe what we _need_ to do. And maybe we'll figure out, that this isn't what we _really_ want. So we both can get over it, keep that dirty little secret to our own and continue with our normal lives. No one will know about it, but we would be satisfied, because we don't need to ask fucking 'what if's' questions. We would know, that we don't need it anymore. Maybe it's just something temporary we need to get through with.“

Noel‘s brows shoot up as high as humanly possible. “You talk about it like it's some fucking flu or something, Monaghan.“

Cameron chuckles, shaking his head. “No it's not. Well it hurts like some flu, but only if I'm not able to do what I wanna do!“ He steps closer to Noel.

Noel's heart is racing. He wants Cameron to stop getting any closer. He cratches with his thumb over his upper lip, noticing the way Cameron stares at his lips. His heart speeds up once more. “But.. but I don't know what _I_ wanna do.“ he stumbles insecure, tapping from one foot to another, hands fisting deep inside his pockets.

Cameron is still glancing at his lips, like he is studying every part of it. “But I know.“ he whispers and leans forward, capturing Noel‘s mouth with his own.

 _Fuck_ , Noel feels a sparkling glow spreading through his entire body, setting fireworks off in his gut. It takes him a few seconds to realize, that he probably wants the same as Cameron. And maybe Cameron‘s weird explanation of finding out what the fuck is going on between them by trying out, isn't that weird. It's the good old learning by doing, right? Maybe they can really just go through it and then leave it for good, so he will be able to go on with his steady and good life.

Thinking about it that way, he relaxes into the kiss, closing his eyes and parting his lips for Cameron‘s tongue to enter. It's sweet and soft and not rushed like their kisses are used to be. Cam's tongue explores his oral cavity, sliding over his teeth and tongue.

After a few seconds he suddenly feels a lack of the lustful lips. Opening his eyes, he can tell by the look on Cameron's face, that the younger one is asking for permission, if he's allowed to go on. Noel doesn't know. He can't think straight anymore to let some words leave his dry throat. So he simply doesn't answer with words. Instead he reaches out for the redhead, and pulls him closer to him by his waist. He leans foward and melts into another searing kiss.

It doesn't take that long before it gets very intense. Cameron presses his body hard against Noel's and grinds his dick roughly against his own rapidly hardening erection. And fuck, if it's not one of the best feelings ever.

Noel gasps for air and tugs at the back of Cameron‘s shirt, disconnecting their lips for a second to pull it over his head. He looks at the younger one's body and swallows hard. He can’t stare at him for too long, he’s sure his eyes would start to burn, and goes in for another kiss.

It’s getting harsher and more demanding every second. He feels Cameron‘s fingers slipping under his shirt and trailing up his back. Then all of a sudden, it is pulled over his head, and falling to the floor. His head feels fuzzy as Cameron threads one hand through his hair and the other one reaches down to his crotch. Noel takes a deep breath, letting his head fall back against the wall.

When Cameron slides his fingers in the waistband of his boxers to pull them down, Noel is already trembling. His hard cock springs free, delivering him from his first need. "Fuck“ he gasps out between their hot kisses, while his fingers are running down Cam‘s body until they reach the hem of his jeans. He pulls them down and gets aware of the flutter in his stomach because of seeing the redhead only in his boxers. The sight of it is sheer breathtaking.

Cameron presses him fiercefully against the wall with his shirtless body and starts stroking Noel‘s cock slowly. The older man finds himself breathing heavily into Cam‘s mouth, dropping his hands down the length of his body to grab Cameron‘s ass and bring him even closer to himself. This causes a groan from Cameron and he begins to stroke him even faster.

The grip in Noel's neck is tightened harder, as Cameron deepens the kiss even more. It's hungry and passionate. There's a lot of teeth clashing, biting and sucking. Fuck, Noel thinks he could come just from kissing the redhead. He definitely needs more. He wants to feel him,  _needs_ to feel him.

Noel is sure he must have stopped thinking, otherwise he would have never grabbed Cameron‘s cock through his boxers. "Holy shit“ Cameron gasps out, making Noel realize how close he already is to falling over the edge. He feels Cameron's big, thick and warm dick only through the thin fabric of his boxers, but it’s enough to turn him on even more.

" _Noel_ \- “ Cameron breathes, panting as he presses their bodies as close together as he possibly can. "Fuck this feels so good, Noel.“

The smaller one feels Cameron pumping him faster and increases also the speed of his strokes through the boxers. The hot and open-mouthed kisses Cameron places at his neck, his jaw and his collarbones encourage his impending orgasm.

Cameron’s breath near his ear is also getting faster and shallower and when he pants "Fuck, Noel, _fuck_ , I’m gonna… Fuck I’m close!“ it is enough to send the older one right over the edge. He comes hard in Cameron's hand and onto his stomach, a loud moan escaping his throat, squeezing his eyes shut. He feels his hips stutter and his legs going weak.

Cameron looks down at his stomach, covered with Noel‘s jizz, and it seems that this view is enough for him to reach his own climax. He comes long and hard in his boxers with a moan of Noel’s name on his lips.

Both pant hard as they try to calm down from their high. Before Noel can start thinking about what happened, he feels another lingering kiss on his mouth.

After a few moments he breaks it and looks down. "Oh fuck, I’m sorry for this man.“ he points at Cameron‘s sticky stomach.  
  
"For what? The cum on my stomach or the cum in my boxers? Because you caused the both of them.“ Cameron chuckles, a smile on his pink puffy lips.

It makes Noel blush, and he really doesn’t know how to respond to that, before he feels a thumb rubbing at his cheeks, causing him to look into perfect green eyes. " _Hey_ , don’t be sorry, alright? It’s okay. It’s more than just okay. But maybe, if you could borrow me a new underwear, that would be perfect.“

Noel sighs and nods. He heads to his closet and passes one of his boxers to Cameron. The latter one strips down, wiping stomach clean with his own messy underwear. The brunet looks away, feeling the guilt rising from his gut to his chest again. He can’t understand what’s going on. The situation seems to take over him and when he is with Cameron he does’t have any of his self control left. Tears are filling his eyes, nearly brimming over.

When Cameron notices his sad look, he lays soothingly both hands on his shoulders. "Hey. _Stop_. I thought we agreed in trying this out to get over it. I don’t want you to feel shitty everytime we finish something like this.“

Noel shrugs. "I can’t do anything against it. I just feel guilty, while there is always this voice in my head, telling me 'You’re not gay! What the fuck are you doing?‘ I… I think maybe it’s better for you to leave now. It’s already late.“

Cameron grabs his face in both hands. "You think I’m going to leave you like this and make the atmosphere between us weird again? Forget it. I’m staying and we play some stupid video games until you feel better!"

Cameron's voice sounds sure and determind. And Noel feels a little safe. If he would be alone right now, the thoughts about what just had happend would be taking all over him and making him feel bad again.

But what they have done right now felt nothing less than good. No scratch that, it felt _incredible._  And Noel knows, that if Cameron would stay, this feeling would last for a little longer….


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter. I'm switching between Noel's and Cameron's POV's.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.  
> Comments and kudos would be awesome :)
> 
> XXX

(CAMERON'S POV)

“OH YES! I won again! You are so bad at playing those video games.“ Cameron shouts triumphantly.

He looks at his watch, recognizing that it's already 1am and they have their “Let's ride“-shoot tomorrow morning. It's probably the best for him to leave and go to bed.

But _fuck_ , he doesn't want to leave. Being with Noel feels so comfortable and good, whereas leaving him feels like ripping his heart out of his chest. He can't believe what had already happened between them since yesterday. He has never felt and experienced something like this before. But he needs to accept that it's late and maybe Noel needs some space and time alone.

“It was just a lucky punch!“ Noel argues, obviously contrite about the end scout.  
  
Cameron raises an eyebrow at him. “Again? It's not the first time I won, Noel! Come on, save the scout, I'm going to bed now.“  
  
The brunet looks at the screen, before nodding at him. “Okay. Done!“

Just as Cameron wants to leave, he takes one quick glance at the TV, shocked about Noel's cleverness. “No you didn't! Oh my _god,_ you wanted to cheat again! You are such a sore loser! Save it, Noel!“ he insists, but the latter one shakes his head in denial.  
  
“No! It was just a lucky punch! If you’ll win the next time I'll save it, I promise!“ the black haired man defends himself.  
  
“Noel, _save it_! Or give me the controller and I'll do it on my own.“ Cameron exacts, reaching out his hand and waiting for Noel to give him the stick.

The older one smirks, holding his hand with the controller in it up in the air and poking his tongue out at him. “No!“

Cameron accepts the challenge and bends over, to get the controller out of his hands. He may be a little bit taller than Noel, but said one is much more nimble. He wiggles out of every touch. “Okay, you want it that way? You'll get it!“ With this, Cam jumps onto Noels lap, grabbing his wrists with one of his hands and tickling him under the armpit with the other. Noel bursts out laughing and wriggling beneath him again.

The older man tries to get out of Cameron's tight hold with quick movements, but that only causes a lot of friction between their laps. Before Cameron can think about what's happening, he is already fully hard again.

Both boys are instantly freezing in their actions, locking their gazes and breathing heavily. When Cameron looks down at the exhausted expression on Noel‘s face, he can't resist the urge to kiss him.  He crashes his mouth on the beautiful thick and red lips of his lover (if he can call him like that).

His head goes dizzy the moment Noel reciprocates the kiss and opens his mouth for Cam to enter. It gets intense very quick and both try to undress themselves as fast as they can, until they are only in their boxers again.

Cameron wraps his hands behind Noel's neck to pull him closer. He feels a wave of electricy running through his body, when hands stroke down his back to grab his ass. “ _Fuck_ “ he hisses out, when those hands are pushing him closer into Noel's lap to increase the friction between their cocks. Cameron grinds down harder against him.

Holy shit, this feels so good,  _Noel_ feels so good. He wants more, _needs_ more. He needs to touch and taste Noel right now and disconnects their lips to start kissing down the muscular body. He hears the other one inhaling sharply through his teeth, while he loses himself in the scent of Noel's skin. God, he feels so good - soft and warm and sweet.

Cameron bites in one of his nipples, causing a groan out of Noel's lips. He goes down further, kissing his stomach and his waist, until he reaches his crotch. He hooks his fingers into Noel's boxers and pulls them down in one swift motion.

“ _Fuck_ , what are you doing?“ Noel questions in a wrecked whisper.  
  
“Just relax, okay? If you don't feel comfortable just tell me and I'll stop immediatly, alright?“ His own lustblown eyes stare directly in those wonderful big blue's of Noel, when he nods hesitantly.

This is all the permission Cameron needs to start mouthing at Noel‘s thighs, feeling the other man trembling beneath him. He looks up and sees Noel squeezing his eyes shut, breathing deeply as his head falls back.

Noel‘s dick is already hard and Cameron sees some precome dripping from the slit. He knees down between Noel‘s legs, putting one hand at his thick trained thigh while giving Noel's cock a few strokes with the other hand.

Damn, he needs to taste him and swirl his tongue around the red pulsating head. He wants it so badly. Right fucking _now_!

Cam inhales long through his nostrils, excited about what he is going to do now, before he starts licking at the head of Noel's dick.

“Oh _fuck!_ “ Noel gasps out, bucking his hips. His head shoots back up and his eyes are on Cameron. They lock their gazes while Cameron's head bobs up and down Noel's shaft. His own cock is painful hard in his boxers, the expressions and noises Noel emits are just too overwhelming. He feels hands slipping through his hair, tugging at some red strands.

Shit, Cameron hasn't thought, that this would be that good. Noel's sweet and salty taste combined with the heavy weight on his tongue makes the experience almost unbearable wonderful. He wants to take more of Noel in, wants his dick to fill out his whole mouth. That's why he goes down even deeper, deep throating Noel, while his hand starts stroking up his thighs.

Noel's moans sound wrecked, as he arches his back beneath him, saying Cameron's name all over together with some 'Fuck's'. His thighs are trembling, his chest heaving.

Jesus Christ, Noel looks so hot, Cameron thinks he is going to shoot his load just from watching and sucking him off. His cock is leaking, needing a friction so bad to find some release. But instead of jerking himself off with his free hand, he puts it to Noel's balls to massage them.

“Oh my... holy _shit!_ “ he hears Noel screaming out, before biting hard down his lower lip, to muffle his lustful noises.

All of this drives Cameron insane, wanting to touch Noel _everywhere_ so badly. Wanting to be  _touched_ by the brunet. And then he feels a leg parting his own, giving him something to get a friction of. He feels Noel's shank pressed to his dick and starts rutting against it.

“Aaaah“ he moans around Noel's cock, the sound sending vibrations down the thick throbbing arousal in his mouth. Noel's balls are tightening in Cameron's hands, when the redhead notices him tugging at his hair. “Fuck Cam, I'm close. Holy shit. Move!“

But Cam doesn't even want to let go of Noel's cock. _No_. He wants to taste him, wants to be filled with his cum, while his own orgasm is increasing incredibly fast. He licks and sucks at Noel‘s dick harder, his tongue pressing against the slit, when his mouth has only the tip of his cock engulfed. He rubs his own length against Noel's leg faster, feeling the prickling expanding from his gut to his whole body. When Noel comes hard, it pulls him over the edge too.

Noel's hands are fisted in red locks, his cum running down Cam's throat. He tries to swallow down every drop that comes out of Noel, sucking him through his long orgasm and hearing him panting hard and moaning. “Oh my god, oh fuck, oh fuck, holy shiiiiiiit!“ The redhead is eager to lick Noel's dick clean, while he is coming _again_ in his - no in _Noel's_ boxers, like a fucking teenager. 

Both are trembling. And when it's finally over, Cameron lets go of Noel's cock with a pop and leans back on his heels. He watches the beautiful sight infront of him. Noel's eyes are closed, his head tilted back, his lips parted, as both try to calm down from the aftershocks.

After a few moments of silence, Noel looks up, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Dude, we have to talk about the thing, that you're constantly coming in your boxers.“

Cameron feels some weight lifting from his chest, relieved about this kind of reaction from Noel, after receiving his first blow-job from Cam. "Yeah, well… You’re not that innocent.“

For a short time, they are smiling happily at each other, until Noel’s slowly fades away, rubbing with his hand over his face.

 _Shit_. He hates this. He hates it, when he sees Noel doubting the whole thing they have and do with each other. How can he even doubt something that feels so damn fucking good? Well yeah, there are also some questions that go around in Cameron‘s head, but he tries to ignore them and just goes with what feels right in the moment. And for now it’s having Noel around, kissing and touching every part of his body.

Cameron slowly gets up and starts dressing himself. "Do you want me to leave or stay?“ he ask hesitantly.  
  
"I think it’s better, if we try to get some sleep. We have the next shoot tomorrow and I'm doubting, that we’ll get a lot of sleep if you’re staying, so….“ Noel answers, voice lowly. Cameron can hear a hint of sadness in it, and it breaks his heart. But he nods with a sad smile on his face, knowing that he has already stayed longer than Noel first wanted him to. "Yeah, right! You okay? Or do you'll get a mental breakdown after I left?“  
  
Noel looks up to him and they share a quick look. "No, I think I’ll be fine. I’m just going to sleep, trying not to think about it a lot.“  
  
Cameron lets out a breath, he doesn‘t know he was holding and nods slightly. "Okay. Thanks for the boxers! You’ll get it back, after I did the laundry." He peers once again in the beautiful blue eyes and gives Noel a soothing smile. "Good night, Noel!“

"G’night!“ Noel replies only in a whisper, eyes fixed to the floor.

 

 

 

The first thing Cameron does, after he enters his room, is taking a shower to wash off his sticky jizz. He tries not to think about Noel, he needs to concentrate on other things. Because since they met at the table read again there is nothing and no one else on his mind. He needs a break. A thinking-break. He succeeds until he lays in bed. Then all the thoughts and feelings start to wash over him.

 _Fuck,_ he gave his first blow-job to a guy, and it wasn’t even weird or disgusting. It was.. _fine_. No, not only fine. It was great and mind-blowing and sheer breath taking. The way he could make Noel feel, could make him come… he could get hard again just from this memory.

But _FUCK_ , he sucked off a guy! Does this make him gay now? Because he doesn’t feel gay. He just feels attracted to Noel. Like there is a deep and strong connection between them. Noel is like a magnet to him, he just can’t stay away. He doesn’t _want_ to stay away. Not yet. Maybe after they got through with the things, they obviously need to do now. And if it’s making-out and bringing each other to orgasm, the whole time, then _damn_ , he's definitely in for it!

For now it doesn’t matter to him if it’s called gay, or bi or straight. He is just happy and wants to stay in this mood for a little while longer. He really hopes Noel is able to enjoy it too. If he could make a whish right now, it would be making Noel happy. Because the smile of this guy is simply just… amazing. Better than any other smile he has ever seen.

Jesus, what is this man doing to his mind? He really hopes to find some answers soon….

 

 

 

Cameron doesn’t see Noel for breakfast at the hotel. Instantly he feels his stomach drop and panic raising in his gut. What if Noel freaked out again? What if he reproached himself for taking the blow-job? Will he be able to look him in the eyes today? Or maybe worse – what if he quit his job and left?

Cam takes a deep breath, trying to ease his nerves. He keeps saying himself, that this won‘t be the reason for his absence. But this only helps a little until he sees Noel in the dressing room of the set. Just then he finally calms down.

"Hey! Missed ya at breakfast.“ Cam says.  
  
Noel turns around to look him deep in the eyes. Fuck, did his blue eyes got even more blue last night? "Morning! Yeah.. I didn’t hear the alarm of my phone and got up very late. Just dressed myself and came here. You look tired!“ Noel responds, sounding normal, so Cameron registers.  
  
"Thanks man! Good to see you too!“ Cam jokes, poking his tongue at him.  
  
"Sorry – you just look how I feel right now. I think this makes us equal!“ Noel stretches his beautiful body, smirking at him.

Then there is a long silence in the room, while they get dressed for their next scene, until Cameron breaks it. "Hey, you wanna join Jeremy and me at lunch afterwards?“ He tries to sound casual, but refuses to look at him. God, he really hopes the answer will be yes.

"Okay, uhm yeah. Why not?!“ Noel agrees hesitantly, making Cameron's pulse speed up, due to the happiness he's feeling. _Yes_! A bright smile spreads over his face. It's a huge fucking progress, because ti means that Noel isn't freaking out.

 

 

 

Their shooting is over soon, because they did it in one take. There wasn't much text. Mickey had to ask “This goodbye?“ and Ian had to answer “Let's ride!“.

Now, in the restaurant, which is settled in the filming area, they meet Jeremy. He takes a seat opposite of Cam and Noel, who are sitting next to each other on a bench. They order their drinks and lunch and have a good conversation going. It's like the way it was before.. before Cameron and Noel started the kissing and rubbing and touching-thing. Before everything got a little complicated. Because going on lunch, or dinner, or having a beer after work is something, they always used to do. The atmosphere is relaxed, they laugh and joke a lot. Cameron enjoys it, relieved that maybe everything is going to be fine.

His hands grab a hold of the bench, as he listens carefully to the conversation between Noel and Jeremy about some actor nominations at the Grammy's. But when he feels the slightest bit of a touch against his hand, there is no way to concentrate on the topic again.

Noel's hands, which are now also resting on the bench, are so close to Cam's that he can feel the heat of Noel's little finger radiating against his. _Fuck,_ how can this brief accidental contact make him want to run his hands all over Noel's body, feel him trembling beneath him? That's not normal. Their fingers are barely touching, while his dick is twitching in his pants.

He clears his throat, trying to get rid off the boner and focus on the ongoing conversation again. Though he can't stop smiling and is hanging on every word Noel is saying. Shit, it must be that obvious for Jeremy, that something is going on between them, the way he admires Noel. He needs to stop and concentrate on eating. _Now!_

But there's no chance to even try his best not to stare at Noel, because the older man gets up. “You two have another shoot now, right?“ Both men nod. “Okay, well, I'm done for today so I'm on my way. Good luck! Maybe we can see us later for a drink?“ Noel asks and Cameron senses a little nervousness in his voice.  
  
“Yeah, let's catch up later." Jeremy answers and Cam is only able to nod perplexed his agreement.  
  
A little shy smile tugs at the corner of Noel's lips, before he turns around and leaves the on-screen brothers alone.

“Great guy and great actor.“ Jeremy states, after Noel is out of reach.  
  
“Yep, you're right.“ Cameron can only agree. There is nothing left to say about the handsome brunet man.  
  
“You two have such a good chemistry on screen. The lovestory of Ian and Mickey is incredible. Especially this season!“ Jeremy keeps his praises up, while Cameron feels a blush creeping over his face. He looks down to the table, hoping that Jeremy doesn't recognize his excitement. “Yeah, what can I say. I'm blessed to work with this guy.“

“Hey guys!“ Cameron looks up to a smiling Ruby.  
  
“Hey!“ both greet her back.  
  
“You had a scene now?“ Jeremy asks her.  
  
“Yep. Already finshed. Was good. What are you doing? Do you have a shooting now?“ she questions, her eyes fixing Cameron.  
  
“Mhm.. we have a short scene together. Nothing big, I guess. Should be over soon.“ the redhead replies, smiling back at her. He can't deny that she looks really cute today.  
  
“Oh okay, maybe you wanna grab a coffee afterwards?“ Ruby asks shyly and Cameron knows, that Jeremy knows, that this question is only addressed to him. So the older man leans back and watches Cameron answering.  
  
“Uhm.. yeah, sure! Meet you here in 30?“  
  
Ruby's smile nearly reaches her ears. “Great, yeah! See ya!“ She turns around and leaves the room.

Jeremy smirks, raising an eyebrow at a blushing Cameron. “Uhuuu, Cameron and Ruby sitting in the tree, k - i - s - s - i - n - g!“ he teases.  
  
Cameron bends over the table, punching him in the shoulder. “Shut up, you  dork!“ he says laughingly.  
  
Jeremy smiles content. “Well, you know, she's hot and nice. And hot. Oh and did I mention that she's a great kisser?“  
  
“You prick! Haha. I know she is!“ Cameron responds, looking down to his big feet.  
  
He suddenly has Jeremy's full attention. “So.. you already know, huh?“  
  
“Yeah, I already know." Cam confirms. "We kissed once, but wanna take things slow, so..!“ He suddenly doesn't want to talk about it any longer and gets up, pretending to leave. “Come on, let's go!“

 

 

 

As he had thought, the shoot was over soon and he finds himself on his way back to the restaurant and bar. It's strange to meet Ruby now, after all that happened in the past couple of days. He feels a little guilty. Ruby is really nice and she still believes that they are taking things slow.

But to be honest, this isn't really what Cameron is doing. He isn't taking things slow with her, he just speeds some other things up with a certain blue eyed boy. Should he tell her, that he can't focus on them right now? That he is too distracted from some _personal issues?_ But what if his a _ffair_ with Noel ends soon and he comes to the conclusion, that he is straight (again) and in love with her? Because before Noel came back, they had a great time together and Cameron really njoyed seeing her.

Maybe he should just leave it this way and find out secretly, if he is more interessted in a relationship with Ruby or in the weird thing he has going on with Noel. Yep, that sounds like a solid plan!

She waves at him, the minute he enters the restaurant. Cameron kisses her on the cheek and takes a seat. “You look good!“ he remarks, satisfied that this is the truth.  
  
She blushes and plays with a string of her hair. “Thanks“ she mutters. “Haven't seen you for a few days. Missed ya!“

 _Shit._ She's flirting. Should he lie to her to make her happy and keep things going? Because in the past days he couldn't think of anything or anybody else than Noel, so he obvioisly didn't miss her too. But if he wants to know if there's a future for them, he has to go for it.

“Me too!“ God, he isn't even blushing. He feels like an asshole, when he notices, that this statement makes her blush. He needs to talk about some other stuff, because this feels too strange. "So what did you do the last couple of days?“ he asks, hoping she won't return the question to him.

As Ruby starts answering, Cameron registers that he doesn't listen. He just glances up and down her body, searching for a sign, that he's still the straight guy he was a few days ago. She is wearing a really nice blue dress today, which matches her figure perfectly. It sets priorities to the curves of her slim body. And her breasts. They are small and precious. Not long ago he would have imagined to touch and kiss them, and bury his face in between. Maybe he should try again. Try to imagine how he kisses down her body, leaving traces of his nails on her back, how he squeezes her breasts and kisses the nipples, only to fuck her good and hard afterwards..

_Nothing._

_Really?_ Did he really even try to get a boner in public, while he is on a date or something like that with a girl?

Yup, he _tried_ , but it didn't work. Why the fuck isn't he getting hard? He got a boner before, just from touching Noel's pinky. What the fuck is going on?

Okay, he needs to breathe. Needs to get out of here. He needs to see him. _Fuck_ , he needs to see him so badly.

He interrupts Ruby, touching his head with the palm of his hands. “Oh fuck, I'm so sorry, but I think I‘m getting a terrible migrane! Maybe it's better for me to go straight to bed. Wanna meet again soon?“  
  
Ruby looks sad, causing Cameron to feel bad. He is such an asshole. “Sure!“ she nods “Let me know when you feel better!“  
  
Cameron kisses her on the cheek again and heads as fast as he can to the hotel.

He has to find out what's going on with Noel, before he gets to know what's going on with Ruby. As soon as possible. But how should he find out?

There is something creeping up his mind again, which he tried to ignore for the past couple of days. But he can't ignore it anymore. Maybe it's time to do something really _gay_ to find out, if he  _IS_ gay. He needs to have sex with Noel!

He shivers at the thought of it, excited and afraid at the same time. He doesn't know a lot about gay sex. Just the few things he learned for his role as Ian Gallagher. But it can't be that difficult, right? There has to be a top and a bottom... _Oh._.

Who the fuck would he be? Or Noel? In Shameless he's the one that tops and somehow the imagination of fucking Noel really turns him on. Having some sort of control over him, holding his hips still in a tight grip, while he thrusts inside his hole. But it's not only about his own preferences. Would Noel like to be the bottom? Would he want to have sex with him, at all? Maybe getting each other off with their hands is enough for him yet? Is he even still interested in the things he has going on with Cameron? He has to find it out. And he thinks he knows a way to do it.

 

 

 

(NOEL'S POV)

There is the harsh knocking on his door again. Noel gets up from his couch and stumbles towards the door. He has an idea of who he will find behind it. He swings the door open and nods triumphantly at the redhead.

“Cam..“ There is nothing more he can say, because he is all of a sudden pushed back inside his room with the whole strength of Cameron's body. The next thing he feels is a wet mouth against his own, and a tongue sliding over his lips to plead for entrance.

With a quick look over Cam's shoulders, he assures himself that the dork has shut the door right behind them, before he lets him do, whatever he wants to do. He has no power to stop Cameron, or more precisely has no will power to stop him.

He feels Cam's tongue licking over his lips again and he opens his mouth to reciprocate. He gives in and closes his eyes as their lips move together in their own created rhythm.

Cameron's body presses him further backwards, until he bumps against something hard at the back of his knees and knows, that they have reached the bed. The younger one tosses his jacket away and pulls his shirt over his head. Noel can see the fire in Cameron's lustblown eyes, the second their lips disconnect. He then feels Cameron tugging at his own shirt and removing it too.

Soft hands caressing his back, making him shiver, before he is laid down carefully on the bed and Cam straddles his hips. The redhead keeps their lips glued together and leans down over Noel’s body, trailing his fingers up to gently hold his wrists against the mattress. It makes Noel’s heart stutter. He is so damn pretty, Noel thinks but removes the thought immediately and tries to focus on what’s happening.

Cameron is hovering over him and placing one arm on either side of his head to support his own weight. The way he kisses him, makes Noel forget about everything. His hands move up to place itself behind Cameron’s neck, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss."Noel," he breathes, panting against Noel’s skin. The black haired man hums, feeling a tight grip in his hair.

"Fuck Noel“ Cameron starts again and stops their kissing. The two of them just look at each other for a few moments, before Cameron speaks up again. "There is some stuff I wanna do. You up for it?“

First Noel wants to ask what kind of stuff he has in mind. But nothing that Cameron has done so far has been less than incredible. The 'new stuff' he did yesterday was awesome too. The thought of Cameron kneeling between his legs, with his cock in his mouth alone makes his cock twitch in arousal. It’s something Noel is certain he will never be able to forget. So _yes_ , he is up for everything Cameron has to give. He doesn’t even need to know what it is. He feels that his body belongs to Cameron right now. His brain may tell him something different, but his emotions lead him right into his strong arms. And he doesn’t want to think now.

He nods hesitantly, allowing Cameron to go on. A small smile tugs at the corner of Cameron’s mouth. “Okay“ he breathes excited and pulls off Noel’s sweatpants and boxers. He also removes his own jeans, but stays in his underwear.

“Turn around?“ Cameron says, sounding more like a question than a command. But Noel complies, rolling over onto his stomach and placing his hands under a pillow.

"Fuck“ Cameron whispers, sounding wrecked already, but in a positively amazed way. He yanks Noel’s hips upwards, just enough to get him up on his knees. Noel barely even has a chance to ask what exactly his plan is, before the man behind him let’s him know.

"Holy shit!“ it prompts a cry from Noel. His jaw drops and he digs his fingers into the sheets at the amazing feeling of what he knows must be Cameron’s tongue against his puckered hole. It’s the most intensive feeling he has ever had in his entire life before. Something so strange, but nevertheless incredible. He feels vulnerable, being that exposed infront of Cameron, but in a good kind of way. He turns his head around to see what’s happening and Cam stops immediatly.

"You good?“ he asks nervously. But Noel can’t speak right now, just lets an approving groan escape his lips. The reaction clearly eggs Cameron on, because with a sharp gasp and a soft smile he goes back to work.

Noel screws his eyes shut, gasping and moaning as Cameron teases him with his tongue. He points his tongue, pressing in deeper and deeper, and swirling it around on the inside, while kneading Noel’s ass with his hands. Fuck, it’s driving him completely insane. But Noel needs more, he wants to feel more. So he finds himself rocking back slowly against Cameron’s tongue. The younger boy takes the hint and applies a bit more of pressure, going in harder and rougher than before, biting in the tight ring of muscles, only to have Noel trembling and gasping for air.

"Fuck, Cam" Noel sighs, too breathless to really speak properly. He has never felt anything this good before. When Cameron pulls out, only to lick with the tip of his tongue up and down his sensitive crack, he senses that he’s close. His breath starts getting more erratic and he feels his heart pounding in his ears. His eyes stay closed while his hips rock backwards, Cam's tongue darting back in. He thinks he is going to lose everything right here and there, when all of a sudden, he feels it – the pressure of a finger pressed against his entrance. Cameron inches it inside, as his tongue works alongside it.

This is too much for Noel, he can’t take it anymore. His arms lose all their strength and he collapses on the pillow, biting into it with a loud, broken moan, as he feels his cum covering the sheets of his bed. He pants hard and shakes through one of the most intense orgasms he has ever had. it feels like forever until he finally calms down.

"You just came untouched!“ Cameron says matter of factly and Noel turns around to find him completely wrecked. His chin is covered in spit, his chest heaving with heavy breaths, his pupils all blown out. But all Noel can see is beauty all over. "Fuck, that’s so hot!“ Cameron adds smirking.

Noel is too blissed-out to say something in return, barely noticing the mattress shifting. Cameron climbs off the bed and makes a move to leave. As Noel sees him standing, it occurs to him, that Cameron is still hard.

"Uhm, can I use your bathroom for a second?“ Cameron asks, looking embarassed down at his hard erection.  
  
"No!“ Noel doesn't know where his determind voice is suddenly coming from.

The redhead knittles his eyebrows in confusion, but before he is able to say something, Noel’s hand pulls him back onto the bed. "Come here!“ he breathes and catches Cameron’s lips in a searing kiss. Cameron groans against his mouth, surprised at the action of the shorter man.

Noel has never touched Cameron’s dick before, there was always some fabric in between. But after this fabolous orgasm and the intense feeling of the rim-job Cameron gave him, he wants to give the younger man something back. He wants to take care of him, wants him to feel as electrified as Noel feels right now. He puts one hand behind Cameron‘s neck to deepen the kiss, while his other hand trails down to remove Cameron’s boxers.

Fuck, he has never seen this part of Cameron before, so he takes some time to just stare at it. It's somehow beautiful, which is weird. He never thought he could find the dick of another man beautiful. But it is, what it is. It's thick and straight and long. The veins underneath the shaft pulsating and the head red and leaking in all his glory. When he feels Cameron trembling beneath him, he finally wraps his fingers around Cameron’s rock hard cock and starts stroking him slowly.

The dribbing precome from the tip of it’s head makes the friction nice and wet. Cameron gasps through gritted teeth and starts thrusting lightly into Noel’s hand. "Oh fuck, Noel!“ The way Cameron sounds, makes Noel think that he is already close. He moans softly as he arches against Noel’s hand, who picks up the pace. With one hand Cameron digs the fingers in Noel’s hair, with the other hand he digs it into the sheets.

It's so fucking hot, Noel just can’t stop watching the redhead as he moves, parting his lips in one pleased groan after another. Noel pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth, sure that he could come again right now if he wouldn't be still recovering.

The desire to run his hands all over his beautiful body is suddenly overcoming him. He lets one hand wander down his stomach to his abs, while the other one starts stroking him faster. Cameron's head digs deep into the pillow and he grunts erraticly, as his orgasm builds. "Jesus Christ, oh fuck, yeah, fuck, Noel, fuuuuuuck!“

Noel watches Cam falling apart, the look on his face one of the hottest things he has ever seen. He strokes him through his orgasm, catching every drop with his hand, while Cameron‘s hips stutter and he breathes hard.

After some moments, in which Noel enjoys watching Cameron calming down, he pulls his hand away and wipes the jizz off with a towel. He lies back down besides Cameron, who swallows dryly.  
  
"Jesus Noel. That was so good. You liked that as well?“ Cameron asks almost in a whisper.  
  
"What?“ Noel questions. But instead of waiting for an answer he continues. "Do you want to know if I enjoyed myself? I think you should know the answer after I came untouched.“ He pauses briefly, thinking that he gave him enough explanation. But when there's still a hesitant look on Cameron's face, he adds: “Yes I liked it.“ This was a lie, he  _loved_ it. "But what the fuck was that?“ Noel needs to know, still a little out of breath.  
  
"Uhm.. A rim-job?!“ Cam's answer is sweet and innocent and Noel loves the shy sound of it.  
  
"I know that this was a rim-job dumbass, but _what was that_? You storming into my room and falling all over me to give me a fucking rim-job?!“ he huffs out a laugh and turns his head to look directly into perfect green eyes.  
  
"Oh yeah, _that._ Uhm..I tried to figure something out.“ Cameron states, looking anywhere but Noel.  
  
"And what if I may ask?“ Noel's curiosity increases with every vague answer.  
  
"I… I… I thought a lot..“ Cameron stumbles.  
  
"Just spit it out, firecrotch!“ Noel interrupts him.  
  
"…about having sex with you.“ Cameron's cheeks turn in the same shades of red, like his hair color. "But you know, there always has to be a bottom and a top. So…“

Noel nods, putting two and two together. He knows exactly what Cameron tried to explore. He was looking, if Noel could enjoy being a bottom. And yeah, he definitely did. But he can't admit it, can't say it out loud. So after a minute full of silence, Cameron speaks up again."I would really like to try and see, if we would enjoy having sex or if we won’t. Maybe this is helping us to find out, what’s going on. You know, if we don’t like it, we can’t be gay, right?“  
  
"Says the man who did a rim-job just moments ago." Noel jokes, rubbing his palms over his face.  
  
"Shut up! We don’t have to do it, it just crossed my mind.“ Cameron punches his shoulder.

The thing is, when Noel fades out all rationality and reality, and only focuses on his feelings, then he wants it too. But something in the back of his mind screams that once they do, once he trusts Cameron that much, he’s fucked for life. Fucking ruined. Maybe he already is, but something about sex with someone you care about, it means something. _Everything_.

For lack of a better word: sex is fucking intimate.

But god, he wants to. He really, really wants to. 

It's just, being a bottom means getting fucked in the ass, right? Does this mean he would be the _girl_? Would it make him _more_ gay? Besides the fact that he doesn't even really know if he is gay and now thinks about something, that would make him _more_ gay.

Maybe it's easier to top. But after the fabolous orgasm he just had with Cameron's finger deep in his ass, he wouldn't mind to try being a bottom. Cameron's hands on his waist, Cameron's hot breath in his neck, Cameron's moanings in his ear and his really long dick in his ass... Yeah, it could be worse.

"No, no.. it’s okay. I think I can’t go on, if I don’t know if I’d like it or not.“ he finally mutters.  
  
A smile lights up Cameron's whole face. "Okay, so we do it?“ he asks excited and Noel nods slightly. The redhead gets up into a sitting position. "Okay, wow. Uhm..great!" he stammers full of anticipation. "We need more condoms and a lube. I think I can grab one in the lobby.“  
  
"You mean _now_?“ Noel shoots up, supporting his weight with his elbows, perplexed about Cam's purposefulness.  
  
"Oh.. you don’t wanna do it now?“ the younger one questions hesitantly.  
  
God. This man is going to be the death of him, with his big puppy eyes. He huffs a laugh. "I’m just recovering, but.. okay. Grab the lube and when you’ll be back, I’ll be fine. Better find out sooner than later, right?“  
  
The big smile is back on his puffy lips, as Cameron gets up and dresses himself. "Right“ he agrees and heads out the door.

 

 

 

(CAMERON'S POV)

Has that really happened right now? Noel’s hand on his cock, stroking him to orgasm. Holy shit, that felt so good.

And fuck, after all they've been through the last days, he would have  _never_ thought, that Noel would agree to his proposal. The moment he accepted Cameron's idea, his heart skipped a beat, only to start racing afterwards, like it has never done before. Cameron is so excited, he can't barely think straight. He can't believe what is about to happen, when he gets back to Noel's room. At the slightest imagination of it, he feels his cock twitching in anticipation.

If having sex with Noel would only be a little worse than getting jerked off of him, it would probably still be the best sex of his life.

But does he want it to be the best sex of his life? Things would be much easier, if it won't. Cameron fights the lump in his throat, trying to ignore the upcoming fears and focus on what's going to happen.

He heads to the toilet of the lobby, knowing that there are some condoms and bottles of lube in a box. If you pay, you can get yourself one. He really hopes that no one is going to see or recognize him. He doesn’t want to explain this weird situation or lie. But he is lucky. He scurries into the room, coins the money, pushes the bottom and gets what he needs. A lube and three condoms – you never know, how much you'll need.

He heads back to the stairs and starts running upwards, taking two steps at a time. He doesn’t feel like waiting for an elevator now. He is too nervous, too excited, the blood rushes through his veins.

When he is finally back in the right place, he is out of breath. He slows down and tries to regenerate, before he enters the room. He doesn’t knock, because Noel should know that he'll be back every second. He swings the door open and finds Noel standing fully dressed at the window, looking outside.

"You've made the effort for nothing, because I’m going to take your clothes off again anyway.“ Cameron jokes.

The moment Noel turns around, Cameron knows that something is wrong. The expression on his face speaks for itself. "What happened?“ he asks, voice low.

Noel sighs, looking down to the floor and avoiding any eye contact with him.

"Layla called. Her father died. I have to go home.“


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all my lovely readers,
> 
> THANK you so much for your support!  
> Especially during the last week. I am really happy.
> 
> This chapter is shorter than the others and will again contain both POV's.  
> Anyways, let me know how you liked it :)
> 
> Thanks
> 
> XXX

(CAMERON’S POV)

Three weeks. That‘s what the producer said to the crew. "Noel has some family issues and asked for permission to go home. He will be back in thee weeks to shoot his last scenes with Cameron. So we need to renew our schedule. We have to do some shootings, which were planned to be done later, now, so that Noel’s scenes can be done when he gets back. That will help us staying in time.“

 

 

After Noel told him that Layla has called, Cameron was in a blur. He felt his heart drop and had to swallow hard. Everything swiveled. There wasn’t much more conversation between them, Cameron whispered a "Fuck“ and nodded his understandment. What else could he have said? It was obvious, that Noel had to leave. After all, he is still in a relationship with Layla and needs to be there for her. After everything Cameron knows about her so far is that she is a really nice person and their relationship is one of the good and stable ones.  _Unfortunately._  They understand and care for each other. It was clear from the moment Noel told him about her father’s death, that he will have to leave to support her. But damn, it was hard to accept. Cameron remembers that Noel stayed silent and Cameron added a quiet "Okay“ to his "Fuck“, before he left Noel’s room.

 

 

Since then Cameron feels miserable. Two weeks are gone and he is a completely wreck. He wouldn’t have thought, that he would miss him so much. But it’s not the fact, that Noel isn’t here, alone that makes him sad and mad. _No_. After one week he decided to write him a message and thought a lot about what he could write. In the end it was a simple "You okay?“ message, for which he waited like an idiot for a respond, but nothing came back. He guesses that now that Noel’s back home, this is the end of their weird _love_ story and it fucking kills him.

He takes a sip of his beer. It’s only 1pm, but he needs the alcohol to calm him down. In the first three days after Noel had left he couldn’t sleep and couldn’t think of anything else. His thoughts were running in circles and he imagined pictures of Noel and Layla having sex. Okay, maybe Layla won’t be in the mood for sex, but Cameron is quiet sure, that Noel would try, only to find out if the last couple of days with Cameron were just a waste of time. And when exactly this thought had settled in Cam's mind, it was the moment he needed his first beer at noon.

Now he's drinking every day, to distract himself from the upcoming thoughts and fears. He doesn’t drink so much to get wasted, although it happened on the third day of his abscence, but he drinks to relax his body and soul just for a little while. Though today is one of those days, where it doesn’t work well and the thoughts keep haunting him again.

Noel is going to come back in one week. One damn long week. Seven days with all the awkward thoughts and pictures infecting his brain and with a big fat black cloud above his head. On the one hand Cameron is eager to know from Noel what happened back home and a part of him wants to get on him again. A  _big_ part of him. But on the other hand he doesn’t and doesn’t want to talk to him at all, because he is still mad.

Why didn’t he respond to his message? A short "Yes“ or "No“ would have done it. He is so selfish. What does he even think? That Cameron can just go on after his leaving? That he won’t think about Noel and Layla kissing and having sex the entire day? It erodes him and he can’t talk to anybody, he is alone with all the shitty feelings. When Noel was here, he didn’t feel alone. Although both of them didn’t understand what was going on between them, they were together and went through it together. And if someone got scared, they were able to put their minds at ease. Though most of the time it was always Noel who got scared, Cameron is sure, that if it would have been him, Noel would have reassured him as well. But now that they are miles away from each other, they are both alone with their thoughts and feelings.  
  
Cameron is all but certain, that Noel is going to flip out. And it hurts him, that he can’t be there for him. He can’t soothe him and tell him, that everything's okay. That they should keep things going, because it feels too damn good to let it go. Sure, he can't categorize their  _thing_ too, but he trusts his feelings and does what he wants to do, what feels just right in the moment. And god, it definitely felt right to kiss Noel, to touch and bite him, to rub against him, suck off his dick or rim him, for god's sake!

Of course it scares him as well, because only a few weeks ago he was sure that he's a straight man. And now he has to face the question, if he is gay, or bi or even worse: if he is in love with his coworker and friend. Cameron knows it’s more for him than the "Let’s do it and see if we like it“-arrangement they've made. Maybe it always was..

He gulps the rest of his beer down and throws the bottle away. _Fuck_ – he really doesn’t know what to do. How should he survive another week without going crazy? He needs to fix himself on other things. Like work. Yes, he has to go to work now and get ready for the funeral shoot. The good thing is: On screen he doesn’t need to play being sad, because he already is. The bad thing: He has to play being happy off screen. He can’t tell his colleagues what bothers him. For them there is no obvious reason. And before he hasn't talked to Noel about _them_ , he won’t talk to anyone else.

 

 

Cameron showers and gets dressed. He is ready to leave, although he doesn’t feel like being ready. He knows that Ruby is going to be there too and feels some guilt overcoming him. He met her two times in two weeks, which was a lot for him but too little for her. But Cam couldn't meet her more often, he couldn't concentrate on any topic they were talking, because a certain blue eyed boy took all the space on his mind.

He knows, that she would want to meet him more often, although everytime they saw each other, _he_ was the one who texted her. He always did it when he was in a bad mood and angry at Noel. It's remarkable, that Ruby herself was never the reason why he wanted to meet her in the first place.  _No._ It was mostly about Cameron being mad at Noel, that he is at home with his family (especially Layla) and probably enjoying his old live. And whenever he imagined Noel having sex with her, he decided that he couldn't stay alone in the hotelroom anymore. So he shoot off a text to her.

And one time, when he was a little drunk and the anger was overcoming him once more, looking down on a phone without new messages, he kissed her again. It was good and he felt a warm feeling in his chest. But it was _nothing_ compared to kissing Noel. No flutter, no adrenalin, no heat and hunger, no passion and lust. It was just a nice kiss. And as he realized that, he went from mad to sad again and felt like an asshole.

He tried to get rid off the tension in his body and jerked off a lot in the past days, always doing his best to focus on Ruby and not Noel. But it didn't pull him over the edge. Actually it was hard enough to get stiff. So he ended up remembering Noel moaning, arching and breathing heavily and it was enough to make him come rapidly. Every fucking time. After it he was either angry or sad, but never happy or satisfied.

He grabs some coffee on his way to the meeting point to cover the smell of beer.

“Hey! You look tired, everything okay?“ Ruby asks, sounding a little bit worried.  
  
“Oh hey! Nah, I'm good. Couldn't sleep last night, but it's okay. How about you?“ he tries to keep the conversation going, trying to sound as casually as he could.  
  
She gives him a sweet smile. “I'm fine, thanks! Wanna have some coffee later? You really look like you could need one!“ she blinks at him, giving Cameron a warm feeling in his chest. Ruby is _nice_ , she really cares about him. Noel doesn't. Cause if he would do, he would have replied to Cameron's stupid two word message.  
  
“Yeah, sounds great! Hope the make-up team does a good job now.“ he smiles back at her.  
  
“I'm sure they will. Cool, so see you afterwards in the dressing room? We could leave together then.“ Before she waves him goodbye, Cam nods his agreement, unexcited about his upcoming day. Just another odd day in this blur.

“Hey Cameron, can you come over here?“ he hears John, the producer, calling for him. He turns around and makes his way over to him.

 

 

 

(NOEL’S POV)

He sees him standing in the back of the set, talking to John. His heart starts racing in his chest. He doesn't know what to say to him yet, but he needs to talk to him urgently. The last two weeks were horrible, there was nothing and no one else on his mind than Cameron. He tried his best to focus on Layla and help her to get the funeral arranged. He tried to be a good boyfriend, but he failed. He didn't fail obviously, but he failed in his head and heart.

He stayed until the funeral was done, but then he had to leave. He couldn't stand being at home with Layla and living a lie. He tried two times to have sex with her, which turned out to be the worst decision of his life. The first time it didn't work, cause Noel couldn't get hard. He tried his best to focus on her breasts and her sexy body, on her great personality and that she's always such a sweet angel to him. But it just didn't work. It was frustrating for both of them, though Layla blamed the stress for it. The second time he _got_ hard and they _had_ sex. But it only worked, because Noel pictured Cameron instead of her, remembering his hands on his body, his mouth on his cock and his tongue fucking his hole. This made him come instantly and after it he was glad it was over. It was pretty much the worst sex he has ever had, and it wasn't Layla's fault at all.

Noel was sad. He really had good years with her,  _awesome_ years to be honest. She was perfect for him and he still loves and cares about her a lot. But in a different way. Since the _thing_ with Cameron started, he is able to register it. He came to the conclusion, that it was over now, that they've lived apart and Noel couldn't go on, not after all that had happened. He really doesn't know if he is gay by now, but he is aware of the fact that he can't deny the exciting and good feeling he gets when he is with Cam. And he wants it. He really wants this feeling to last.

Because of this he broke up with Layla, which felt terrible. Her dad died and he dumped her, he is such an fucking asshole. He couldn't tell her about Cameron, it would have only made her more sad. So he said, that he doesn't feel the same about her anymore. She tried to talk him out of a breakup and said that they have to work harder for their relationship, but Noel stayed focused. There was no way for him to go on. It broke his heart to see Layla suffering and both of them ended up crying. It was hard, but sometimes the hardest things and the right things are the same.

She wasn't even really mad at Noel, which he could barely stand. He wanted her to shout at him, hit him, but she was just sad. He told her that he is flying back to work on his final scenes, and that he will remove his stuff from their home, when he returns afterwards.

 _So here he is_ , back in Chicago, one week earlier than suspected.

He peers at Cameron from where he is standing and recognizes the dark circles around his eyes. He looks tired, but is nevertheless the most beautiful human being Noel has ever seen. He takes a deep breath and steps towards Cameron and John, neither of them registering him until he is close to them.

“Noel“ John calls out “what are you doing here by now?“ Cameron's head turns around, his face dropping, mouth gaping, as his skin turns paler than the wall behind them.  
  
“Came back earlier, right after the ceremony.“ he says, his voice low, as he tries to look Cameron in the eyes, but the younger boy avoids his gaze.  
  
“I'm so sorry, how's Layla?“ John asks sympathetically and Noel notices Cameron's breathing getting heavier, before he opens his mouth. “Hey okay, I... I'm getting ready for the next scene.“ he mumbles, turning around and leaving a flabbergasted Noel behind.  
  
_Fuck_ , he wants to go after him, but how would that look to John? They are professionals, they can't start a fight infront of their boss. He also knows that Cameron has to focus on his work now, so he decides to talk to him afterwards. “Okay I guess.“ he responds to the producer's question from before.

 

 

 

Noel watches his cast members on the set and is stunned, how excellent they are acting. All of them. Though he fixes Cameron most of the time to admire his facial expression and his whole human being. He is such a great actor and Noel is blessed to work with him. While he keeps his eyes fixed to him, he recognizes how much he has really missed the redhead. There’s no need to deny it anymore. He has to face it, no matter what.

They are done with the shooting pretty soon. Noel waits until most of them are leaving the set and heads towards Cameron.

“Hey!“ It's almost a whisper.  
  
No respond.  
  
Noel repeats himself “Hey Cameron, can I talk to you?“ His voice pleading.  
  
No respond.

“Okay, so you‘re gonna ignore me now for the rest of our work, or what?“ he asks offended.  
  
Finally Cameron finds his voice again. “Probably.“  
  
“Oh come on. Let me explain some things to you. Some place quieter?“ Shit, he really hopes that Cameron will talk to him.

But the readhead is still avoiding every eye contact, looking to the ground, to collect some things from the set. “Sorry, I have a date now!“ he replies coldly.  
  
_OUCH_! Fuck, that hurts. Noel bursts out a desperate laugh. “W..What?“ But the younger one doesn't respond again and walks past Noel to leave him back alone. Shit. That didn‘t go as planned. He really needs to talk to Cam, there are so many things he has to say.

He follows him to the dressing room, but doesn't step inside and waits until everybody else has left. When his colleagues see him standing outside the wardrobe, they greet him softy and ask about Layla's well being. He tries to keep the conversations short, so not to miss Cameron leaving.

After a long time, when nobody else came out anymore, Noel suggests, that Cameron must be the last one in there. He pushes the swinging door open, but would have rarther closed it immediately again.

Noel stands as if rooted and looks at Cameron kissing Ruby intensely. Not only that he sees them kissing, he also recognizes the passion and force, with which Cameron’s lips go for Ruby‘s, remembering that two weeks ago it has been his lips. _Fuck_. He needs to leave, but can't look away either for what feels like an eternity. Only when he sees Cameron tossing away his shirt, and starting to undress Ruby, the way his heart aches is enough for him. He turns around and escapes the building, gasping for some fresh air.

He feels something coming up his throat and can't stop himself from vomiting. He wants to cry and scream at him for being this stupid, but he is strong enough to hold the tears from streaming down his face.

 _Alcohol_. He really needs some alcohol now.

 

 

 

(CAMERON’S POV)

 _Shit_. What did he do? He left Noel alone on the set, although he really wanted to talk to him. But he couldn't. He got that mad, he couldn't even think properly. So when Ruby wanted to leave, he grabbed her and kissed her with all the stalled energy he got left in his body. He needed to know, if he could make it. If he could have sex with a woman again, without thinking about a certain man. He wanted to be loved and he wanted to feel like a _real man_ again. So he thought it would be the best to have sex with her.

Well, at least he really _wanted_ to have sex with her. But he didn't. They were both almost naked, Cameron in his boxers and Ruby only in her slip and bra. She put her hand on his boxers and onto his dick, but he couldn't get hard. She palmed him, but nothing happened.

After a frustrating long time, he stopped kissing her, placing his forehead against her‘s and whispered “Sorry. I can't.“  
  
She looked up to him, confused as hell. “What? What's wrong with you?“ she asked, still out of breath.  
  
“Too much. Too much is wrong with me, okay?“ Fuck, he realized that he used one of Ian‘s lines. “I'm sorry, okay? I need some time to sort things out.“  
  
“Well congratulations, perfect timing, Cameron!“ She sounded angry and Cameron couldn't blame her. She dressed herself and stormed out of the room.  
  
“Ruby I'm so sorry!“ he shouted after her, half naked and alone in the wardrobe.

Fuck, he fucked up so badly.

Now he just wants to scream at Noel and let out all of his frustation about the last two weeks, when he suffered so much. He's also dying to know what happened at home, even if it’s going to hurt like a motherfucker.

He walks with quick steps to the hotel and knocks at Noel's door, but nobody opens. He tries a few times, but doesn't get an answer. He pulls his phone out of his pockets and calls him. No respond. He tries again. Mailbox. “Call me the fuck back, Noel!“ he hisses through gritted teeth.

What should he do now? He really hopes that Noel will call him back soon, but in the meantime he can't just sit and wait. He has done this the past two weeks, and it was horrible enough. He needs to distract himself from all the thoughts and questions on his mind, deciding that a walk is what he needs right now.

He tries to calm himself, but isn’t that successful. If Noel had just responded to his crappy message, the whole shit wouldn't have happened. Cameron wouln‘t have gone through hell for those two weeks and wouldn‘t have hurt Ruby. Fuck Noel and his fucking way to capture all the space in his mind.

Soon it's getting dark outside, it's almost 7pm and Noel haven't called him back by now. Cameron tried another ten times, but didn't get a reply. He decides to call Jeremy instead, needing a better distraction to get through the time.

“Dude, what's up?“ Jeremy yells in the phone, as soon as he picks up. Cameron can barely understand him, because of some loud music in the background.  
  
“Where are you?“ he asks curiously.  
  
“At a bar with Emmy and Noel, who is completely drunk, by the way. I need to take care of him. Think I'm going to bring him back to the hotel soon!“  
  
Cameron fights a lump in his throat. “Wait. Which bar? I'm coming over!“

 

 

 

When he arrives at the pub he is completely out of breath. He ran almost the entire way. He tries to catch his breath, before stepping inside and looking around, to search for Jeremy, Emmy and Noel.

The place is crowded and it takes a few seconds, until he sees them sitting at the bar. At least Emmy and Noel are sitting and Jeremy tries to support Noel from behind, keeping him from falling off the bar stool. Cam makes his way over to them, completely nervous. He doesn’t know, how to talk to Noel and his drunken state makes it a lot more difficult.

"Yo Cameron!“ Jeremy waves at him. Noel and Emmy turn around immediately, two of three smiling at him. The other one rolls his eyes and turns back to the bar to order another drink.  
  
"Hey!“ Cameron greets them, not wanting to waste any more time. He steps beside Noel and grabs him by his shoulder. "Can I talk to you?“ he asks quiet but roughly.  
  
Noel’s eyebrows shoot up high. "Now  _you_ wanna talk to _me_?“ a sarcastic laugh fills the air, as he adds "I’m not interested anymore. I have a better idea for you: Talk to Ruby and tell her about your shit!“

Cameron can see Jeremy and Emmy sharing confused glances, though they are not the only confused ones.

"W..What are you talking about?“ Cameron wonders.  
  
Noel stares into his glass of whiskey, before drowning everything with one gulp. He leans over to Cameron to make sure, that no one else can hear him. "Go and fuck Ruby, we’re done! Done! Done!“

Cam's heart drops. _Fuck._ Has Noel seen him with Ruby in the wardrobe? This can’t be, they were alone in the room. Did he follow him? Shit, they need to sort some things out.  
  
But before he is able to say something, a tipsy Noel gets up from the bar stool and gives Jeremy and Emmy a pat on the back. "I’m leaving! Thanks for your company!“  
  
"Hey _wow_ , I don’t let you walk home alone like this! I’m coming with you!“ Jeremy says.  
  
This is Cameron’s chance. "No Jeremy stay. Let me take him home, you've already done enough.“  
  
He puts his arms around Noel’s shoulders to keep him from falling, but the smaller one pushes him away immediatly. "Don’t fucking touch me! I don’t wanna talk to you now. I better go with Jeremy!“

Cameron can see the confusion in Jeremy’s eyes, he seems to have no clue what's going on between them. Cameron shrugs his shoulders, indicating, that he doesn’t have any clue either. He lets his head hang low between his shoulders, uncertain of what to do or say.

"Okay Milkovich, let’s go!“ Jeremy demands, but before he's leaving the pub with the drunken man, he tugs Cameron closer by his arm and whispers: "I really don’t know what’s going on between you guys, but you should settle this. Talk to him tomorrow.“  
  
Cameron nods frustrated and watches them heading outside the door. Emmy is there to take him into a hug. "Wanna talk about it?“ she asks empathetic.  
  
"No thanks. Let’s just sit and drink.“ he answers, ordering two beer for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments and/or Kudos are always appreciated.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for your comments & support. They make me so happy and motivated and I love you for it. 
> 
> This chapter is written in Noel's POV.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> All my love,
> 
> XXX

(NOEL’S POV)

There's an impatient knocking on his door. He knows the sound so well by now.

Fuck, how early is it? He looks over to his clock and sees that it's already 10am. Maybe if he doesn't move, his visitor will go away. But no luck for Noel, the knocking doesn't stop. He swings his feet out of the bed and rubs his forehead. Damn, he feels dizzy.

As he walks towards the door the memories of last night are right back on his mind. He got drunk, _very_ drunk. He couldn't stand the fact, that Cameron had sex with Ruby. Fucking Ruby. And then the idiot really had the nerves to come to the pub to talk to him. After all that he had done right before. _Pfft!_ Of course Noel refused to speak to him. He was so mad at Cam, that he started to date and fuck Ruby in only the short time of his absence. The thought of it alone, makes him feeling sick again. He swallows hard to suppress the choking.

He doesn't want to talk to him now either, isn't ready to face him. He would have to look in his fucking beautiful face with those big puppy eyes and those thick red lips, which were on Ruby‘s yesterday and not on his.  _Ugh!_ His stomach turns around. But as the harsh knocking on his door continues, and Cameron's voice calls Noel's name over and over, he knows, that there is no way out. He has to face him now.

He stumbles towards the entrance and swings the door open, blinking at a tired and furious looking Cameron.

 _God,_ he is so damn beautiful.

“You didn't text me back!“ Cameron yells angrily at him, storming into the room to the back of Noel's couch. He doesn’t look at Noel while he waits for an answer, fingers digging in the fabric of the couch.

Oh fuck fine, let's go straight to arguing!

“Oh and that's why you couldn't get fast enough on Ruby, huh?“ he responds enraged, putting his hands in his waist.  
  
Cameron huffs a laugh when he turns around, but not a happy laugh. It's sad and rough. “The fuck are you talking about?“  
  
Noel presses his tongue to his teeth, raising his eyebrows. He lets some seconds pass until he answers lowly: “Saw you yesterday in the wardrobe. Hope it was a good fuck for you!“  
  
Cameron's eyes open wide, making the younger one look shocked and offended. “I don't know what you think you have seen, but there was no fucking. Yeah, I wanted to have sex with her, because I was very upset after our conversation, but..“  
  
He is cut off by a laugh of Noel. “ _Conversation_? I can't remember we've had a conversation. I just remember that I tried to talk to you, that I wanted to explain some things, for example why I haven't answered your fucking message, but you ignored me and ran straight into Ruby's arms!“  
  
“Fuck you, Noel! What do you think? _You_ left and went back to your family, leaving me alone in this shitty situation and all the included feelings and thoughts.“ Cameron states, his body stiff from all the anger and tension.

Pfft! As if Noel doesn’t have ever-changing and overwhelming feelings and thoughts, too. If there would be a 'stop' button , to shut all of them off for only a brief moment, Noel would have pressed it constantly in the past two weeks. “Oh, you think just because _I_ left, which by the way wasn't my own choice, I forgot about us and all of this shit?“ Noel is fuming. Yesterday he wanted to apologize and try to fix things, but this now is going in a completely other direction.

He can see that Cameron is also out of his mind, completely in rage. He snorts through his nostrils and gets ready for his next attack. “Well, you were always the one who got scared of us. Of course I thought that you are going to recognize that you've made a mistake, the minute you are back with Layla. And when you didn't answer my message I was sure as hell, that you were trying to ignore me and just forget about what had happened.“

How can Cameron think that Noel is able to forget just a single second of all this? Their shared moments are burnt into his long-term memory and he knows that he'll never be able to forget these wonderful things in his life. No matter how much or hard he would try.

Cameron continues: "I was..or I _am_ sure, that you've got cold feet and that you would never want to continue with what we had. Those two weeks have been the hardest of my life, Noel. Do you know, that you're not the only one who doesn't know how to deal with this new gay shit? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW IT TOO! And you left me alone, with no one to talk about, and didn't even reply to my fucking two word message. I couldn't talk about it, but couldn't stop thinking about us. And it drove me insane. Knowing that you have sex with her…“ He stops for a short moment, taking a deep breath, before he adds: "It was like an endless loop in my head. This thought alone made me a mess.“ His voice sounds broken and vulnerable. Noel wants to kiss him so badly, show him how much he cares. "So I tried to distract myself, to get rid of those horrible feelings and thoughts. And.. yes, I've seen Ruby two times in those two weeks and yesterday I tried to have sex with her. But do you know what? It didn't work, because YOU WERE ON MY MIND AGAIN!“ Cameron emphasizes the last sentence emphatically.

Noel fights a lump in his throat. He knew that Cameron would be angry because of his non-reply, but he would have never thought, that he would be that hurt. He feels a sting in his heart and sneaks towards him to rest one hand on his shoulder. Cam avoids every gaze, just keeps staring at his feet.

“ _Fuck_ “ Noel whispers, tears filling his eyes. “I'm sorry. Like, really fucking sorry." He swallows, his hand rubbing soothingly over Cam's shoulder. "Listen, you've always been the one who seemed fearless about this new situation we are in. I would have never thought, that this would upset you that much. I thought that you just do the things you want to do and don't think about it as much as I do.“  
  
Cameron looks up and Noel notices a tear running down his cheek. He sighs. “So you thought I was just a horny fucker all the time and that it didn't matter to me if I would have shoved my dick in your ass or any other girl or boy I could find?“ Cameron's voice sounds hurt and it breaks Noel’s heart to see him like this.  
  
“Well.. _no._ But I didn't thought that it would bother you, if things would come to an end between us.“ Noel points out. Even if Cameron doesn’t want to hear it, they have to talk about it.

“ _Really?_  " Cameron laughs out sarcastically, "Come on Noel, you can't be that blind!“  
  
“The fuck does that mean?“ Noel asks visibly astonished, taking his hand from Cameron's shoulder.  
  
“I was into this shit from the beginning. _I_ was the one who always wanted more. Don't you remember? And you really thought it wouldn't matter to me if things would end between us?“ Cameron pauses, but Noel can see him struggling for the right words to say. "Fuck Noel.. I.. I really like you. More than I ever thought I could like a man. But I do! And it would hurt me a lot, if this would end now.“ Cameron mumbles, gesturing between them.

A heavy weight drops off Noel's chest, relieved by the redhead's words. He lets out a breath, he didn’t know he was holding. Fuck he wanted to hear this so badly, and now that the words are out of Cameron’s mouth, he feels this particular flicker in his stomach again. “It would hurt me too!“ Noel admits softly.  
  
Cameron tries to look him in the eyes, but this time Noel is the one staring to the ground, tip toing from one foot to the other. “It would?“ Cameron needs to know, a hint of despair in his voice.  
  
Noel looks up, finally locking eyes with him. He nods slightly.

“And what's with Layla? What happened at home?“ Noel senses the urgency of Cameron's question, knowing now for how long it has lingered on his mind. After all that the younger one has told him, Noel ows him the truth. The whole fucking truth, if he wants to make it right. And _fuck_ does he want to!

“As you guessed right, I tried to continue with my old life and my relationship with Layla. I really tried. I didn't want to accept those new feelings, so I did my best to have sex with her." Noel pauses, looking into wide-opened and worried green eyes. He hates that he is hurting him right now and takes a deep breath to be able to continue. “The first time it didn't work. I couldn't get hard. The second time I tried, it worked and I slept with her.“

Cameron lets his shoulders and head hang low, nodding slightly in desperation. He looks broken. His eyes fall shut to let a tear slip through his eyelashes. It breaks Noel’s heart to see him like that, so he adds quickly: "But it only worked, because I pictured you instead of her. I remembered all the stuff we did and it pulled me over the edge soon. After it I was just lucky that it was over. And that was the moment when I realized, that I couldn't go on like that, that too much had happened between us. There was only you in my mind.“

Cameron lets out the breath he was holding during Noel’s speech. He opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again at a loss of words, so Noel goes on. "The day I realized that I have to quit things with Layla, was the day I got your message. I was totally confused and didn’t know what to write. 'Yes‘ would have been a lie, 'No‘ would have been too short and leave an explanation open. So I tried to type down all of my thoughts and emotions about us, but guess what?! I couldn’t even write  _one_  damn word.“

Cameron’s narrows his eyes at him. Noel knows it’s no excuse, but he hasn’t even said everything yet and continues: "So I decided to sort out my feelings and come back with the knowledge of what to do. I tried to pass the following days and ended my relationship with Layla. So… _here I am now_. Confused as hell about my life, but with only _one_ thing that matters on my mind now.“

They just stare at each other with glossy eyes wide open, non of them able to say something. After what feels like an eternity, the younger one breaks the silence. "And what is it“ he asks only in a whisper.

Noel has no words for this and he needs no words to do, what he is longing for since his departure. He crashes his lips against Cameron's, cupping his head in his hands. The kiss is slow and sensual, not as heated as their kisses tend to be. It is as if they are able to express all that words never could with the touch of their lips. Noel feels Cameron’s body trembling in his arms and he sighs relieved.

He parts their lips for a second and hears the redhead moan about the loss of them. "I thought a lot about the things we wanted to do!“ Noel breathes out.  
  
"What things?“ Cameron asks innocently, although Noel can tell from his facial expression that he knows very well what he is talking about.  
  
"You know.. the things we wanted to do before I got the call.“  
  
Cameron shrugs his shoulders, a smirk forming on his lips.  
  
“ _Oh come on_ , you fucking know what I mean!“ Noel yells, while pulling Cameron's head closer to go in for another kiss.  
  
Cameron breaks it. “You mean that you want me to fuck you?“ a teasing edge in Cameron's tone.

Oh, fuck. Noel goes rock hard in only a few seconds. “Yeah“ he breathes and kisses him again, but this time more fiercely and with more heat.

They try to tug off their clothes and underwear clumsily, while simultaneously try to keep their mouth attached to each others. It's happening so fast, the two of them completely naked within a minute. It's like a blur, but Noel is not about to slow down, and neither is Cameron.

Oh god, he loves the way Cameron's skin feels against his own. He's so fucking hard, it almost hurts. Noel can feel the cock of the younger boy rubbing against his own and it's just perfect. They make their way to the bed, never letting go of their lips. They shuffle up along the bed and settle more comfortably. Noel is laying on his back, Cameron hovering above him, caging him in with his arms on either side of his head. Noel feels a tight heat coiling in his gut.

The brunet interlaces his fingers behind Cameron's neck, pulling him closer and drawing little circles on his neck with his fingertips. Cameron moves his hips a little rougher, grunting softly as the friction builds. Deep moans are filling the hotel room, while they are hungrily tasting and kissing and biting each other. God, this feels fucking fantastic.

Noel's hands slide over the redhead's hot skin and taut muscles, as he recognizes how fucking bad he wants him. "Fuck" Noel breathes, tilting his head back and allowing Cameron to mouth at his exposed throat. " _Cam_ "

Noel needs more. He slides one hand over Cameron's back to his crotch. Shit, he is so damn hard when Noel takes him in his hand and starts stroking him. The way Cameron's breath hitches is exquisite. Cameron presses harder against him, groaning pathetically as he keeps moving his hips and kissing Noel's neck and shoulders.

" _Cam_ " Noel repeats, tightening his grip on the back of Cameron's neck, while the other hand strokes him faster. The older boy hears the deep, low growl escaping Cameron's throat. “Fuck me, Cam," he breathes, finally able to say what he needs him to do. Damn it feels so good. He hears a moan coming from Cameron, turning him on even more. " _Please,_ fuck me," Noel whispers so desperately, he's already a fucking mess under Cameron's body. This time Cameron stutters and whines into his chest. " _Cam_ ―"  
  
"Okay, shut up!" Cameron interrupts him, a breathy edge to his voice. Noel narrows his eyes on him inquiring.“If you keep saying that, while stroking me, I swear to god I'll come right here and now!“ Cameron sounds like a wreck. Noel smirks at him and stops stroking Cameron's dick. He enwraps Cam's face in both hands and pulls him down for a seering kiss.

Cameron starts kissing down Noel's throat, over his collarbones, while still straddling his hips. Noel's body tenses up as it slowly rolls against him, dick still wet and hard. Cameron keeps making his way down and when he has reached the spot just below Noel's navel, he hears his own breath hitch. The younger boy ghostes his lips over Noel's fucking hard cock and when he finally takes it in his mouth, Noel gasps for air. The fabric rustles, as he pushes his head back against the pillow, jaw dropping in a low, drawn-out moan.

“Fuck" he breathes, as Cameron slides down further, bobbing his head slowly. It's so damn good. "Oh god" he whispers and hears Cameron whining in respond. Cam moves faster, taking him in deep and playing with his tongue at the sensitive head of Noel's cock.

Oh lord. Oh Fuck. He's so fucking close.

He takes a deep breath and reminds himself, that he doesn't want to come yet. He wants more. He wants everything. He slides his fingers in Cameron's hair, tugging at it, until the redhead looks up with lust-blown eyes. “I want you, right fucking now!“ Noel pants out of breath, voice heavy with lust. He stares Cameron directly in the eyes, as he nods his agreement.  
  
"Okay," Cameron says, sounding stunned and eager now, chest heaving. Noel swallows, some nervousness creeping up on him.

Cameron moves his way back up to Noel's face and kisses him long, slow and deep, before he tightens his grip on Noel's waist and flips him over with a grunt. Noel gets up on all four and hears the younger one letting out a sigh. “Fuck, do you have any lube or condoms here?“ he asks.  
  
Noel came back to Chicago with the thought of finally having sex with Cameron. _Of course_ he came prepared. He nods. “Drawer“ he mutters, Cameron instantly rushing over and taking the things out.

“Okay, so I am going to prepare you. If you want me to stop, because you changed your mind, it's okay. Just say something and I'll stop!“ Cameron explains.  
  
Noel smiles. “I'm not going to change my mind, I want you! _Now_.“

Cameron glances at him, that greedy heat back in his eyes, and Noel bites his lip as he sees the younger boy opening the lube and getting his fingers slicked. He exhales and closes his eyes, before he feels Cameron nudging his legs and Noel spreads them wide. When Cam slides his lubed-up fingers against his entrance, he gasps.

Fuck, it feels so good.

Cameron's fingers press harder against him, prompting Noel to bite his bottom lip and groan. Cameron takes this as an encouragement and pushes one finger slowly inside. “ _Fuck_ “ Noel gasps out, arching against the touch. He hears a breath hitch in Cam's throat at the sight and is sure, that Cameron enjoys it as well.

After a few moments of the sensation of having a finger from his lover in his ass, he feels him adding another one. Noel stops breathing, trying to focus on the slight burn combined with such sweet pressure Cameron's fingers cause in his ass.

“You good?" Cameron asks and stops pushing inside his hole, the second he notices Noel's breathing pause.  
  
“Yeah, fucking good, go on.“ Noel pleads, a desperate edge in his voice.

Cameron slides his fingers in and out, increasing the speed and pressure everytime so slightly. Noel feels Cam's other hand trailing to his upper back, massaging it softly. “Relax“ he breathes and adds the third finger, starting to scissoring them, stretching him more and more.

It feels so weird, but in a fucking good way. Noel tries to do as he is told and not to overthink something, which isn't very hard, because he can barely even think in words right now. This is so much better than he ever thought of. The need to feel Cameron deeper overtaking him and he starts rocking a little against his long fingers.

“Holy shit, you look so amazing.“ Cameron whispers, his breathing ragged and heavy. Noel feels his cheeks glowing, but isn’t able to respond in any other way than arching and grinding against his fingers harder, gripping the sheets with both hands.

Noel doesn’t know how long it takes, until Cameron finally decides, that he is ready. Noel turns his head around to see Cameron rolling on a condom and getting it slick with lube, the excitement overwhelming him. The redhead strokes himself a few times, before he lines up his dick with Noel’s tight hole. Cam’s eyes are bright, his pupils blown with lust as he sighs. "Okay?“ Noel locks their gaze and nods

And then he feels it – Cameron's dick pushing slowly inside, stretching him good and hard. Noel hisses through gritted teeth, hands gripping the sheets tighter, as Cameron pulls out and pushes back in, a little bit more each time. Noel squeezes his eyes shut, the burning slwoly giving way to the pleasure.

" _Noel_ “ Cameron sighs so sinfully, when he finally bottoms out. He stays still, both trying to get used to the new sensation of being in someone or having someone inside.

Fuck, if Noel would have known what he has missed all the time, he would have done this much earlier. Feeling Cameron inside of him is nothing less than amazing. As Cameron’s hands slide up and down the length of his body, he is eager to get more of the gorgeous man from behind. "It’s okay, move!“ Noel's permission only a needy whisper.   
  
Cameron immediately obeys, starting to move so very slow, Noel could go insane. "Oh my….“ Cameron starts but doesn’t finish. Instead he lets out the most blissful groan Noel has ever heard. The slow pace doesn't last very long, as Cameron's thrusts get harder and deeper and cause Noel to whimper. Shit, this feels so good, Cameron fucking him slow and sweet and hard and deep, he needs to kiss him right now to make this breathtaking feeling perfect.

Noel lets loose of the sheets and pushes him upwards, so that his back is pressed against Cameron’s stomach and chest, his warm and soft skin. One hand of Cameron grips his waist tightly, the other hand angles Noel's face awkwardly toward his own, catching his lips in a starving kiss. The movings of their tongues and hips feel like a perfect match. Noel can’t believe that this is actually happening, he has never felt this good. He could explode right now, but wants this fantastic feeling of having Cameron inside of him to last much longer.

"Fuck“ Noel moans against Cameron’s mouth, closing his eyes.  
  
"Look at me," Cameron begs, sounding wrecked, and Noel forces his eyes open.  
  
"You're so hot right now. So fucking gorgeous." Cameron gasps out mouthing at his jaw, and Noel tilts his head back on Cameron’s shoulder.

Jesus Christ, Cameron's mouth against his throat, combined with the stunning feeling of being full, is like fire spreading through his gut.

Noel starts moving against him, which encourages Cameron to speed things up and tighten his grip at Noel’s waist. Noel grunts full of pleasure and Cameron can’t stop muttering and moaning. He turns his head and licks at Cameron’s neck. God, he tastes so good, so sweet with just the slightest hint of salty sweat. He arches ever so slightly with his hips as a soft moan spills from his mouth.

Cameron’s hand runs over Noel’s body and he breathes hot and heavy in his ears. This makes Noel’s completely hard and leaking cock twitch. He wants to touch it to reduce the fucking pressure but also wants to be just focused on Cameron’s moves inside him. He reaches behind Cameron’s back and gets a hold of his ass, pushing him even deeper inside.

This causes Cameron to change his angle just a little, but enough to hit Noel’s sweet spot. An almost surprised groan is punched out of Noel. "Oh yes, fuck yes." he breathes, a desperate edge to his voice. "Oh holy shit“.

Cameron’s own gasps get sharper, his moans louder as he pounds faster and harder into him. He mouths at Noel's neck, alternate between biting and kissing. " _Noel_ ," Cameron whines again, sounding completely gone. "Fuck, you feel so good. So fucking good."

Noel wants to keep hearing the redhead saying this for the rest of his life to him. He moans in response, holding Cameron tighter and closer against him. The feeling of Cameron hitting Noel’s prostate is so intense, he's sure he won't make it much longer. "Fuck, just like that. Right there, right there!“ he manages to stammer, before he swallows dryly.

Cameron obliges and pounds even harder into him, hitting his prostate with perfect precision at a relentless pace. He cups Noel’s face with one hand, turns his head to face him and captures his lips in a passionate kiss once again.

Noel is falling apart. He is so fucking close, he’s not gonna make it. "Close“ he breathes, choking out a following moan and squeezing his eyes shut. He feels Cameron wrapping one hand around his dick and starts stroking him, simultaneously with his thrusts. This is all Noel needs to pull him completely over the edge. He comes hard and loud and he could swear he goes blind for a second. He feels his whole body trembling and his hole clenching around Cameron’s cock.

A strangled moan rips from Camerons's throat, as his orgasm grows. Noel opens his eyes just in time to catch a glimpse of his perfectly wrecked expression. The look on Cameron's face is something Noel has rarely, if ever, seen before. "Fuck, Noel, fuck, fuck!“ he whines and keeps thrusting erratically, holding Noel's body close against him, until he stills completely.

Both breathe heavy as they try to calm down. They look at each other and share a lazy, loving kiss. There's no tongue, no biting or hunger, just affection. It's sweet, and it's perfect.

After, what can be seconds or hours, Noel can’t say, Cameron pulls out, falling on his back on the bed. Noel settles beside him, as Cameron tosses the used condom on the floor.

"You okay?" Cam asks full of concern and affection, still panting.

Noel tries to find a way to articulate how wonderful and amazing this was and that he never felt that happy before, but the words seem to be stuck in his throat. So he just leans over and kisses his lover again. He can't remember to have ever felt so close to someone before and it’s breathtaking and overwhelming.

In other words, it's fucking perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like our boys are getting happy :)  
> But I can tell you, that this is not the end - There will still be some hurdles to overcome, on their way to happiness.
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos and/or comments - that would be awesome!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, new chapter!
> 
> I just want to point out once again that English isn't my mother tongue and therefore mistakes will always slip in. I hope it doesn't bother you too much and doesn't detract from the story.
> 
> I'm thankful for every comment and/or kudo you leave behind.
> 
> Enjoy!

(CAMERON’S POV)

Cameron blinks a few times, before opening his eyes and recognizing, that he isn't in his room. He looks down his stomach and finds a hand resting there. He turns his head and catches a peaceful and wonderful looking sleeping Noel.

He can't stop the smile spreading over his face, as he rubs it with his hands. He checks the time and calculates, that they have two more hours, before they should be on the set, filming some scenes for the eleventh episode.

Cameron lays his hand over Noel's and intelaces their fingers. As soon as their skins touch, all the breathtaking memories from yesterday come back to his mind. He can't believe what had happened. Noel saying that he quit things with Layla, their kiss, Noel's soft and sweet skin, his hands on his cock, his own mouth on Noel's hard and leaking dick, his fingers in his ass and Noel's lustful moans.

 _Fuck_ that was good. But all of those really, really great and stunning things combined, were  _nothing_ compared to the feeling of being inside of Noel. _Holy shit,_ nothing in this world has ever felt this good. He was so tight and hot and Cameron was so close to climax the second he pushed inside of him for the first time. But he tried his best to go on and make Noel come. And shit, Noel's noises and his facial expression were so fucking adoreable. He has never seen such beauty before. When Noel finished and his ass clenched around his cock, it was too much for Cameron to take. He came so damn hard, his whole body trembled. Cameron has never felt so close to Noel before, not like that. Probably hasn't felt that close to anyone, and his heart could just burst with happiness.

Cameron can't put it in words how released he was, when Noel told him, that he liked and enjoyed it and wants to do it again. Because from the moment he entered Noel's hole, he knew, that he never wants to stop doing this. His world would have broke apart, if Noel would have said, that this was a one time thing and will never happen again. It's not like Cameron then would fuck other guys instead, no! Perhaps he would go back to dating women.

He sure would, because he can't think of any other man he would or could be interested in. He isn't gay - what he has with Noel is something completely different. He doesn't think that this makes him gay. It feels more like he finally found his soulmate, no matter if it's a man or woman. Okay, it _does_ matter, because due to the fact that it's a man, it makes the situation a lot more complicated, at that, it is one of his colleagues.

But he has to face the truth, that he likes Noel a lot. He doesn't know if it‘s love, but it's something very important to him and he can't think about losing Noel. He really hopes, the older man shares his thoughts and feelings. Though it's too early to talk about a relationship with Noel. He just wants to enjoy every fucking minute which is given him with this adorable guy. It is good the way it is now.

He just doesn't know how he should hide his enormous crush infront of their colleagues and friends. He could stare at Noel's beautiful face every fucking second of a goddamn day. So this is going to be hard tonight, when all of them meet for a dinner.

Cameron is sure that Noel doesn't want them to know about them, and it's okay for him. To be his dirty little secret is some kind of hot. Although he would rather tell the whole world about how fucking happy he is. Especially his friends. But Noel needs some time, and Cameron won't push him.

He looks to the sleeping beauty next to him, wanting nothing more than to get on him again. But Noel propably isn't ready to do it again that fast. And because he's the one to take it up in the ass, Cameron is willing to wait, until he wants it again. Until then it's enough to look at this gorgeous human being and imagine all the things he wants to do with him later.

 

 

They meet at the set again, smiling at each other. They didn't come here together, because Cameron went back to his room to take a shower and change clothes and Noel had to be there earlier for the preparation he needs to turn into Mickey - his fuck u-up tattoo on his knuckles and another colouring of his hair.

Today they shoot the scenes in the Jeep, most of them with Damon, best Mexican banger hitman motherfucker and they really have fun all together. They make some selfies and videos during the car ride, hoping to make their fans happy. They are going to post it on their twitter acounts, before the episodes are released. This should make it easier for their fans to wait for the new Gallavich episodes. Cameron sings “Hero“ from Enrique Iglesias, while Noel is filming him. His heartbeat speeds up, as he recognizes, that it makes Noel laugh. Cameron decides to put this on top of his daily to-do list: make Noel laugh as often as possible to see shiny blue eyes combined with the sweetest laugh lines he has ever seen. _Check_.

“Hey guys, you ready for the kissing and sex scene in the Jeep?“ John asks, as he slumps over to them.  
  
“Sure“ Joseph Raymond Lucero, who plays Damon on the show, answers.  
  
Noel curls his brows “Hey come on, the fuck are you talking? You aren't even in this scene. You sing fucking Taylor Swift on the outside!“ Noel smirks, patting him on the back.  
  
“Yeah, I think we are ready, John. Make-out scenes are slowly becoming a habit this season“ Cam jokes, his gaze shortly locking with Noel.

John nods, before he speaks up. “Okay, so we leave the trunk open to film through it. Noel you start with your line, before you lean to Cameron to kiss him. Cam you turn the both of you around, so that your faces are directed to the camera. While you start stripping down to your boxers you talk to each other and then fake the beginning of a fuck. We'll remain briefly with the camera, but this will be enough then. Okay guys, ready?“ Both boys nod. “Okay, then get in the car and take your positions please!“ John orders.  
  
They do as they are told and prepare for their acting by taking a deep breath and focusing on their characters.  
  
“Aaaand Action!“ they hear John yelling through the trunk.

Noel turns his head to Cameron and leans a little forward. “Come here!“ he whispers and Cameron meets him halfway with an open mouthed harsh kiss. Cameron tries to calm himself down, this is not Noel kissing him, this is _Mickey_ kissing _Ian_ and he needs to keep cool to not get carried away. He disconnects their lips against his will. He only manages it, because he knows that he can kiss him afterwards as often and as long as he wants.

Cameron turns Noel around and hovers above his back. “Hey, I bottom now too, if you wanna switch things up!“ he says and feels Noel pulling down his jeans. Cameron mirrors his action, both boys only in their boxers now, his jeans around his knees. “If I wanted to fuck a guy in the ass, I would have stayed in prison. Get the lube bitch!“ Mickey jokes.

Cameron feels Noel pressing his ass against Cameron's lap, moving just the slightest bit. He knows nobody will notice it behind the camera, but  _fuck_ Cameron does and this friction makes his head spin and his cock twitch.

“CUT!“ John shouts. “One more time. Back to your positions, please!“

“The fuck are you doing?“ Camron whispers in Noel's ear, while getting back dressed.  
  
Noel turns his head, grinning cheekily and shrugging his shoulders. “Don't know what you are talking about?“  
  
“Haha, you’re so funny. Stop it!“ Cameron claims and takes his position on the passenger seat.

“Aaaand Action!“

They do it again and they make it pretty much the same as the first time, but this time Noel rubs his ass with more pressure against Cameron's slowly hardening dick.

Fuck, Cameron bites down his bottom lip to hold back a moan escaping his lips. He swallows hard and tries to focus. But Noel doesn't stop, moving his ass so slightly up and down Cameron's groin, he could explode right fucking now. Cameron tightens his grip on Noel's waist to signal him that he should let it be. But apperently it only eggs the older man on, moving a bit faster now.

“CUT!“

“You fucking tease! Stop it or otherwise I assure you, you‘ll get it back!“ Cameron hisses through gritted teeth, covering his boner as best as he can with his hands.  
  
Noel smiles at him in the most possible innocent way. “This a promise?“ he asks.  
  
But before Cameron can say something, he hears John calling. “One last time, please!“  
  
“I need to do a good job, Noel!“ Cameron explains in a rough whisper.  
  
“Oh man believe me, you're doing a _really_ good job right now!“ Noel sticks his tongue out and takes his position.

“Action“

And once again, Noel presses harder against him, moving his hips. Holy shit, he really needs to concentrate. Cameron feels some precum leaking from the tip of his damn hard cock and wants nothing more than some more nice friction for his release. Fuck, he wants to fuck Noel so badly right now. He can't stop the heat raising up in his gut with Noel rubbing his ass so slightly up and down his clothed cock. Shit, he's close. He tries to moan into the crook Noel's neck, so that nobody would notice. Noel drives him fucking insane with his slow movements and he knows he won't last long.

As he tries to overplay his raising orgasm, he hears a loud voice yelling “Aaaaand cut! Thank you guys, this was great as always!“

Shit, he wouldn't have needed a lot more to finish but as soon as John stops their acting, Noel pulls away and leaves Cameron with pain in his lap.

“Come on tough guy, let's get dressed. Or do you need to stay in the Jeep for a little longer?“ Noel teases him. Cameron tries his best to smile and hide his rock hard cock in his jeans.

Fuck, Noel really gave him blue balls, now he will have to deal with the consequences.

They make their way to the wardrobe and as soon as they are in it, Cameron locks the door.

"What the fuck was that?“ Cameron asks sharply.  
  
"I don’t know what you mean? Just tried to make the scene look realistic.“ Noel chukles.  
  
"Realistic, huh? I'll show you _realistic_ now!“ Cameron says and grabs Noel by his waist. He pushes him backwards, until Noel bumps into a table, on which the whole makeup is spread. Cameron leans in and kisses him harshly. He feels the other one smiling into the kiss and parts his lips. Their mouths slot together perfectly and Cameron hums. He feels his erection, which had flagged, starting to reappear. He sighs and takes a step back, releasing Noel from his tight grip.

Looking into Noel’s lust clouded eyes, he swallows dryly. He gently takes Noel’s shoulders in his hands and turns him around to face the large mirror above the makeup table. He presses his chest closer to Noel’s back, making him trapped between Cameron’s body and the table.

The redhead guides Noel’s hands to place them wide open on the table. He starts kissing his neck simultaneously to pulling at his hips so that Noel has to take a couple of steps away from the table, nudging his knee between Noel’s thighs. Noel understands what Cameron wants him to do and spreads his legs, pushing his ass back even more as he does so. The blue eyed man looks in the mirror and locks his gaze with Cameron, who doesn't stop mouthing at his neck, jaw and earlobe.

“ _Fuck_ “ Noel hisses through gritted teeth and licks his lips in anticipation. Cameron is so hard already, he could come just from watching Noel melting under his touch. He takes a deep breath and reminds himself, that this isn't about him right now. He wants to make Noel come hard, just from his teasings.

He kneels down and pulls Noel's jeans and underwear down with him in one move. He takes one moment to appreciate the glorious view of Noel's ass infront of him and lets his hands slide up slowly Noel's tighs, teasing the soft flesh. He grabs Noel’s cheeks firmly, massaging them with his long fingers, stroking the crack with his thumbs. He sees Noel throwing back his head with a lustful groan and closing his eyes.

Fuck, he wants to get inside of him so badly, but decides that he needs to taste him right now. He parts Noel’s cheeks, dives forward and breathes over his hole, feeling Noel's body trembling under him. Cameron traces his tongue over the crease of where Noel’s upper thigh meets his ass and nips at the sensitive skin there.

Noel is fully hard and grinding back against his face as much as he could. “Holy shit!“ he breathes out. Cameron uses his tongue to lap slow and long circles around his hole and then switches to laving it with long fat licks.

Shit, Cameron recognizes, that he has no lube with him. He looks around the room, while his thumb keeps stroking Noel's rim.

Noel exhales sharply, one of his hands reaching back to tug on Cameron's hair. “Fuck, get in me. _Now_!“ he demands.

Luckily Cameron views a bottle of Vaseline, next to the makeup stuff. “Hold on!“ he says, getting the bottle and taking a condom out of his wallet.

Noel looks impatient, while the younger boy gets his fingers slicked. He slowly inserts one lubed finger into Noel, moving it back and forth a few times to help loosen him up. He adds a second finger and starts scissoring them slowly, smiling when Noel moans loudly and starts to fuck himself on them. Cameron inserts a third one, still moving slowly and gently, giving Noel time to adjust. He avoides Noel’s prostate, focusing on getting him stretched and ready.

“Shit. Hurry up!” Noel urges.

Cameron shakes his head with a smile on his face. How fucking great is that? Yesterday he wouldn't hav thought, that Noel would ever want to have sex with him, and now he is begging him to get fucked, for the second time within 24 hours.

He rolls on a condom and smears some Vaseline onto it. He gets up quickly and locks eyes with Noel through the mirror as he pushes all the way into his tight ring of muscles. Both boys are panting and moaning.

Holy shit, since yesterday Cameron knew, that this is the best feeling he has ever had in his entire life. But to know it and to feel it are two completely different things. He could get lost in it. Cameron sets his forehead between Noel’s shoulderblades to catch his breath for a second.

He then watches through the mirror as Noel bites his lower lip, his eyes closing at the sensation. closes his eyes, Noel lets his head fall forward, his hands gripping the edge of the table so hard, that his knuckles turn white. Cameron fists his hand in Noel’s black hair, tugging at it to make him face the mirror again.

“Watch!” Cameron instructs in a demanding whisper into Noel’s ear, making him shiver. His other hand gets a tight grip of Noel’s hip as he begins moving in and out of his lover in long, slow and deep movements.

“Fuck you feel amazing, Noel!“ Cam breathes out. He wants to stay forever in him, doesn't want to ever get out of his hot, wet and tight hole. He focuses on the adorable feeling around his cock, as he pushes in and out so slowly, trying to absorb the sensation of being buried inside his lover. He only does a few thrusts in a minute and he savors each of them. Fuck, this is so overwhelming.

Noel whines and rocks his hips back for more friction. “Cam, fuck, _more_!” he pleads, but the redheaded boy holds Noel's hips more firmly to keep him still. Cameron looks deep in ice blue eyes and shakes his head. “No!“ he says determined.

Noel arches his back and whines out. “Fuck, harder, _please_!“

Cameron sees the wrecked look in Noel's face and moans lowly. He uses both hands to hold his hips firmly so that he can pound into him with more vigor. “You want it like that?“ he asks. Instead of an answer Cameron hears Noel getting louder, his moans and curses filling the air in the wardrobe, when Cam picks up the speed.  
  
“Yeah!“ Noel sighs.  
  
Cameron feels his own climax approaching quickly, but wants this to last even longer. “Sorry, I can't.“ he says teasingly, smiling at Noel through the mirror, getting slower again.

This is his payback for the whole Jeep situation. Noel doesn't need to know that taking it slow feels also so damn fucking fantastic, Cameron could shoot his load with every deep thrust. But he wants to tease Noel a little bit longer, so he tries to stay concentrate.

“Oh come on, please. I need more. Please Cam, faster, _please_!“ Noel cries out and tries to buck his hips, but this causes Cameron to keep rolling his hips in an almost painful slow way.

As Noel's gasps and moans get more and more desperate, Cameron decides to give him a little bit of what he needs. He changes his angle just so slightly, that his slow but deep thrusts hit his prostate every time.

“Jesus Christ!“ Noel moans loudly and tries to push even more into the stimulation. Noel is a trembling mess, but Cameron's moves stay slowly. He presses himself against him and sucks a deep bruise into the skin on his neck.

“Holy fuck!“ Noel whimpers. “Please I can't take this anymore! I'm close. Go faster, _please_!“ sweat beading up all over his body.

A part of Cameron wants to go on slow and savor this, but he knows he can't stand it any longer. He needs to pound this round ass and fuck, Noel needs him to do it, too. So the younger boy speeds up, ramming into Noel as fast as he can.

“Fuck, so good, so fucking good!“ Cameron pants and feels his orgasm approaching faster and faster. He moans and wraps his hand around Noel's neglected and throbbing cock, stroking it in time with his fast thrusts, while he once again locks eyes with Noel through the mirror. Latter one looks completely wrecked, but in the most beautiful way, Cameron has ever seen.

He trades his fast thrusts for long, hard, deep ones, drawing out and pushing in, rubbing against Noel’s prostate intensely.

“Oh my - “ is all Noel manages to say and Cameron feels Noel contracting around him. A moment later he’s coming with a loud yell of Cameron's name, shooting into his hand, his head falling back on Cam's shoulder.

As soon as Cameron feels Noel's ass clenching around his cock, he comes too, spurting inside him with one last deep thrust, chasing his own release. Their breathing fall in sync as they both ride out the aftershocks of their orgasms, bodies still spasming slightly.

Noel turns his head to capture Cameron’s lips between his own for one last deep and intimate kiss.

“Fuck, I should tease you more often!“ Noel jokes with red flushed cheeks and a satisfied smile on his face.  
  
“Don’t you dare to give me blue balls again, man!“ Cam warns his lover. “Come on, I really need dinner now. I'm starving after this exhausting fuck!“ he adds, smirking at Noel.

It crosses Cameron’s mind, that Ruby is also going to be at the dinner. He is sure, that she is still mad at him, because she didn’t answer his "I’m so sorry!“-message. He really feels miserable about what happened between them. He wants to talk to her, but decides to do it later, after they’ve eaten.

 

 

(NOEL’S POV)

When they arrive at the arranged restaurant, all of their colleagues are already there. They exchange hellos, Cameron and Noel taking a seat next to each other and also next to Jeremy and Shanola. As always, they start to chit chat, news are exchanged and their last shootings discussed. A lot of beer and wine are drunk and laughter fills the room.

Noel loves that the atmosphere is always at high spirits, he feels so comfortable in this group, with people he cares a lot. Unfortunately, the shooting for him ends soon and he should leave again. But he hasn‘t signed a new contract for a movie yet and there’s no one waiting for him to come home anymore. Maybe he‘ll stay a bit longer to savor moments like this, with his friends and especially with Cameron.

The later it becomes, the more often he feels Cameron's eyes on him. He doesn‘t dare to look back, though he would really like to lose himself in the deep green of his eyes. Instead, he feels his cheeks blushing and looks embarrassed down at the table.

Some of their friends have left the table and went to the bar to get some more drinks. Noel notices Cameron also standing up beside him, feeling his hand sliding along his shoulders, as he walks towards the bar.

Shit, why does he always get goosebumps all over his body with each of his touches?

He exhales deeply and relaxes into his conversation with Steve and Shanola again, two of the people he has missed the most. Both have a close friendship and Noel is sure, that they are the most funny people he has ever met. The jokes are running and some more beers are drunk. He starts to feel a little dizzy, when he notices, that it's been a while since he has last seen Cameron hanging at the bar. He excuses himself and decides to look for his redhead.

Noel gets up, wanting to have a look on the outside, as he needs some fresh air anyway. He trots towards the door and as soon as he wants to swing it open, his stomach drops and his heart skips a beat. Peering outside the window, he sees Cameron leaning against the wall, smiling at Ruby, who is standing vis-á-vis of him. Her body and face just inches away from his lover.

Fuck, Noel takes some steps back and holds his breath. He feels his chest narrowing, but can’t look away. Cameron blushes, looking embarrassed at the ground. Is he flirting with her? Because it really looks like he does and she doesn’t seem to mind. It looks more like she’s enjoying it. If this would be a fucking movie, you’d expect the two of them kissing every second.

Shit. He should have known that. He shouldn’t have trusted him, he should have known better. Cameron is young, of course he tries a lot of new things and jumps from one affair to the next one. With his 23 years he is still a fucking teenager and Noel with his 32 years could be his fucking father.

Okay, this may be a bit exaggerated, but this is how Noel feels. When Ruby then embraces Cameron, Noel is bent on drinking some hard liquor, rushing back to the bar.

He senses a figure approaching next to him, turning his head to face a smiling Jeremy looking at him. "Do I have to get your drunk ass home again tonight?“ he smirks.  
  
Noel huffs a laugh. "Bet you wish!“he tries to counter.  
  
"What`s up man? You sneaked off to drink alone at the bar?“ Jeremy questions with raised eyebrows.  
  
"Nothing. Everything’s fine!“ Noel replies, giving him his best smile he can afford.

He knows, that Jeremy doesn’t believe one single word, though he nods. He doesn’t ask more, just takes a seat next to him, ordering a beer for himself. Noel is grateful that he doesn‘t urge him to explain his new drinking behaviour, instead he keeps Noel silent company. This is what friends are there for.

Noel can’t say how much time passed, until he sees Cameron and Ruby stepping back inside the restaurant. He spots Cameron out of the corner of his eyes coming up to them.

"Hey!“ he grins, holding up his index finger to get another beer from the bartender.  
  
"What’s up?“ Cameron asks, sounding more like a flowery phrase.  
  
Noel stares at the glass in his hand, pressing his lips to a line, not able to say something in return.  
  
Jeremy laughs. "Wanna join me and watch Noel getting real drunk again?“ he asks.  
  
Noel realizes that Cameron doesn‘t really understand what Jeremy is talking about, and turns to look at him. "You okay?“ he questions still smiling.  
  
"Fuck off!“ Noel spits out.

Cameron shakes his head in disbelief and looks at Jeremy inquiring, who just shrugs and doesn’t understand either.

Noel needs to get outside and shoves Cameron away. He hurries to the exit bur feels the redhead following him. As soon as they are outside, he hears Cameron shouting: "What the fuck? Can you please update me about what happened the short time I was away?“

Noel laughs sarcastically, turning around to face the younger boy. He feels really dizzy and doesn’t know if it’s due to the alcohol he drowned or the imagine of Cameron with Ruby. "So you went back licking pussies?“ he asks cynically.  
  
"Excuse me?“ Cameron is completely flabbergasted.  
  
"No, no, it’s fine. We made the arrangement to try this out,“ Noel gestures between them "and to let it be, if it doesn’t work. And now I just came to the conclusion, that this was a bad idea.“ He can’t hide his anger and frustration any longer.  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK NOEL? Has this something to do with my conversation with Ruby?“ Cameron tries to get it.  
  
"Talk to whoever the fuck you wanna talk. I’m out!“ Noel tells him, trying to hold the tears filling his eyes.

There's a short moment of silence. Noel can see Cameron trying to match the pieces of the puzzle in his head. "I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you! I talked to Ruby, because I wanted to apologize for my shitty behaviour. She asked, if I have someone new and I thought I owe her the truth and agreed. There was no need to tell her more, because she already guessed, that it‘s you. I’m sorry that I took my time to explain and didn’t ran away like a fucking pussy!“

Ruby knows? Cameron told her about them? Well, this puts everything he has seen in a new perspective.

Cameron takes some aggressive steps towards Noel. "But _thank you!_ Thank you for opening my eyes and making me realize, what you think about us. I really don’t need this shit. Have fun!“ Cameron walks past him, giving him a punch with his shoulder.

 _Fuck_ , what did he do? Noel feels his heart breaking, while he tries to catch up with the taller man. " _Cam_ , yo! Wait! I’m..“ – he’s cut from a fuming Cameron. "LEAVE ME _THE FUCK_ ALONE!“

Noel stops abruptly. He has never seen Cameron that angry. What the hell got into him? Why does he always behave like a puberty teenager next to Cameron, rather than a man with whom you can have a serious conversation? Seeing Cameron with Ruby was like a red rag to a bull to Noel and now he has to deal with the consequences. The consequence that Cameron is leaving him.

Noel can’t hold the tears streaming down his face, as he watches his love walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about this chapter and their story.
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> XXX


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Here's a new chapter for you! 
> 
> Thanks for leaving kudos and/or comments. You're all so lovely. I read and re-read every single one, and they make me so happy and so motivated and I love you for it. Thank you.
> 
> A special thanks to Luckyshaz, who read and corrected this chapter :)

(NOEL’S POV)

Shit, what has he done? Why couldn't he talk to him in a normal way, why did he have to abuse him and let the situation degenerate? He didn't want this to happen, but the feelings took over him, as soon as he saw Cameron and Ruby talking to each other intimately. He should have just pulled himself together for fuck’s sake and talk to him like an adult. Fuck, he fucked it up so badly.

He looks after Cameron, but he has already disappeared into the dark.

“Hey" a voice calls from behind.

Noel turns around and sees Jeremy through his glassy eyes. He isn't able to speak, so he just nods and tries to focus on something on the ground to stop the tears from falling.

“Can someone please tell me what the hell is wrong with you guys? You’ve been acting weird for weeks now!“ Jeremy asks looking completely confused.

Noel remembers everything Jeremy has witnessed so far and can't blame him for being bewildered. He shakes his head slightly, his gaze still focused on the ground. “I... I _can't._ “ he mutters.

“Oh _you can't_? Okay well, then let me make up a crazy theory: You two have something going on, like flirting or dating or some shit.“

Noel looks up immediately, furrowing his brow. He lets out a heavy breath and locks eyes with Jeremy who’s staring at him questioningly. “How.. how did you know?“ he is too tired and subdued to deny it.

Jeremy shrugs and smirks at him. “Well it wasn't hard to be honest. First the both of you can't stop smiling, giggling and touching each other and the next time you are fighting like an old married couple. Besides the fact that Cameron was a wreck the two weeks you were gone.“

Noel huffs out a laugh and cocks his head, avoiding eye contact.

“So I guess I am right?“ Jeremy asks after a full moment of silence. Even though the question sounds more like a fact rather than a question.  
  
Noel hums in agreement.  
  
“Wow! Oh fuck. _Wow_! What the _fuck_?“ Despite the few minutes they’ve been talking about the matter Jeremy seems still to be surprised by the fact that it’s true.

“Yeah but I fucked up now, so calm down, there's nothing going on between us anymore!“ There's bitterness in Noel‘s voice.

Jeremy steps closer towards him and wraps his arms around his shoulders. “Wanna talk?“

Does he want to talk about it? Actually he didn't want anyone to know about Cameron and him. But Jeremy already knows and he really feels like talking. He needs to tell someone about his fears. Noel knows he should have talked to Cameron about it, but he has obviously botched it up. Perhaps it’s good to finally confide in someone and maybe Jeremy can help him. More precisely, he can look at them from a new angle. Noel feels like he's stuck between 'I'm not gay' and 'Fuck I really like this guy!' He can‘t specify which of the two is true.

“Yeah“ he breathes.

The two have retired to an opposite bar, in order not to be disturbed by their colleagues. For a short time, they just sit in silence. Jeremy has a beer in front of him, while Noel is limited to water. He has drunk enough alcohol for tonight, he still needs to get sober. Even though the dispute with Cameron quickly got him out of his haze.

Noel guesses, that Jeremy wants him to start talking, but he doesn't know how to explain this shit.

“ _Sooo._.? As awesome as it is to sit here in silence with you and drink some beer and water, talking only works, when you use your mouth to produce some words.“ Jeremy says.

Noel inhales deeply and stares down at his glass. “It all started when we wanted to run the lines together to practice for our shoots. We practised the scenes and all of a sudden we couldn't stop kissing. It got... very intense and left both of us confused as hell. Both of us have never had any experience with guys before and this overtaxed us completely. Me more than Cam, to be honest. He knew from the beginning what he wanted, but I didn't. It scared the fuck out of me. Kissing a guy and being gay was never an option to me. I thought I was pretty happy with Layla, but this... changed everything!“ Noel lets out a breath, he didn't know he’d been holding.

So this is it. He just came out in front of one of his friends. He is shocked and relieved at the same time that it wasn’t that hard. Although he is a little scared how Jeremy might react now. He looks into his light blue eyes, to get a hint what is going to happen next.

“Wow!“ Jeremy comments and drops his mouth open. “ _Fuck_! So you... you broke up with Layla or..?“ he asks shyly, not wanting to overstep.

Noel nods, a little confused if this is a good reaction or not. “Yeah I did. And I was willing to get involved with Cameron and the shit we had going on to see, where that was headed. But then I saw him talking and flirting with Ruby and freaked out!“

“ _Oh boy!_ “ Jeremy smiles at him.

“Why are you smiling? This isn't funny!“ Noel protests.

“You think Cameron flirted with _Ruby_? You should see the way he looks and talks with _you_. The way he is with Ruby is nothing compared to the way he is with you, man!“ Jeremy explains.

Noel feels his throat tightening and swallows dryly. Even though Jeremy might be right, he has already ruined everything. _Fuck!_ He feels the guilt washing over him.

“What's the real reason you freaked out tonight?“ Jeremy asks with a low voice.

What? He has already told him the reason. Cameron flirted with Ruby. That’s it. It is. Isn’t it? Fuck.

Noel shakes his head. “I... I don't know. I got scared, seeing him with her again. I mean, he is so much younger than me. For him it doesn't matter if things were to end between us. He can go on, can go back to dating girls, like nothing ever happened. Then it will just have been an experience for him, which is okay, because boys his age do strange things and then get over it. He would still have time to get a girl, marry her and have some kids. But for me it’s…. it‘s completely different. I am ten years older than him. I had a girlfriend for 12 years and we already thought about marriage and having babies. I was one step from being a husband and a father. And fuck…. I _want_ to be a father. I always did. Having a family was one of my priorities. And now... everything has changed and my whole plan for the future is gone. The only thing I know is, that I'm fucking afraid of it.“ The words come out of nowhere. Noel didn’t even know they were on his mind. But now that they are out, he realizes the what the problem is.

It feels good. Talking to someone and finally being able to see through the opaquely haze of his mind.

“So you are afraid Cameron might leave you and you’ll be too old then to start a family?“ Jeremy checks.

After considering it, Noel says: “Yeah.. I think so!“

“But you know, that this could also happen to you with a woman especially Layla? You could have stayed together for a few more years, only to break up then. Wouldn't it be the same?“ Jeremy takes a sip from his beer and looks questioningly at Noel.

“But then I would only have to start dating girls again. After a breakup with Cameron, although we aren't together yet, I would be completely lost and wouldn't know if I want a man or a woman.“ Noel explains, realizing how odd it sounds, and gulps down his glass of water, because of his suddenly desiccated throat.

Jeremy huffs out a laugh. “But you can't undo what has already happened between Cameron and you. Even if you stop seeing each other now, you would have to face the question of if you like dudes or not.“

“I DON'T LIKE DUDES!“ Noel spits out and presses his lips together in a thin line.

“No? But you like Cameron?!“ Jeremy asks.

“Yes I.. I think so. But this is different. I like him because of  _him_ and not his gender!“ Noel explains.

“See? This is what love is! It's not important if you love a man or woman, someone tall or short, someone thick or thin or even someone young or old. It is, what it is. And what you and Cameron have, is called love!“ Jeremy smiles at Noel, looking proud of what he just said.

Shit. Noel knows that Jeremy is right. He has known it the whole time, but was afraid to face it. Though there's still something on his mind which bothers him.

“What if he leaves me? If he hasn't already done that! I would be lost.“ Noel asks nearly in a whisper. He looks deep into Jeremy's blue eyes. His expression changes to determined.

“When you love someone, there's always the chance of getting hurt. Nevertheless if it's a man or woman. But you shouldn't run away from love, just because you are afraid of someone ripping out your heart. You would miss the beauty of love! And even if your heart gets broken, at least you’d have had a great time with someone you love. Isn't that what life is for? Collecting great moments and savoring them to get through bad times?“

“Fuck, since when do you talk like a fucking therapist?“ Noel chuckles and tries to let Jeremy‘s words sink in.

“Since you've turned me into one with your fucking pussy-problems!“ Jeremy raises his glass and eyebrows. “Cheers!“ he adds.

Noel mirrors his actions with his glass of water. “Thanks man!“

He knows what he has to do.

 

 

 

(CAMERON‘S POV)

Cameron walks around in his room restlessly. He can't comprehend what happened tonight. Everything was fine until he came back from his conversation with Ruby and Noel freaked out. Should he have discussed it with Noel before talking to Ruby? But wasn't it obvious that he needed to talk to her after dumping her only in her underwear in the wardrobe? Why did Noel freak out like that? Was he jealous? Because there is really no reason for that.

The feelings Cameron has for him are deeper than he had ever for anybody before. Didn’t he show him that often enough? The 'let's try it out and get over it' thing was long over for him. To be honest, he never really wanted to get over it. He just said it to calm Noel down. Perhaps Noel is still not sure if he really wants this. He obviously doesn't trust Cameron and ended their liaison after seeing him with Ruby. What if he had already realized, that both of them should go back to dating women again and used the opportunity to start a fight?

Shit, Cameron knows he won't get a lot of sleep tonight, his thoughts are running in circles through his head. He takes a beer and places himself on the couch to watch some movie. He is aware of the fact, that he won't be able to follow the storyline, but maybe he can stop his brain from working.

It helps a little and in the middle of the film he is finally calm enough to find his way to sleep. But no luck for Cameron, he starts up from a knocking at his door. He rubs his eyes with the palm of his hands knowing exactly who is at the door. The question is, does he wants to see him and talk to him?

“Cam, please let me in. I need to talk to you!“ he hears his voice from the other side.

He can't move or speak. His voice alone makes him shiver. What if Noel wants to 'break up'? He doesn't want to hear it now. The evening was bad enough, there’s no need to make it even worse.

“Come on, please! I know I was a huge asshole!“ Noel says.

This catches Cameron's attention and he raises his eyebrows. Maybe he doesn't want to break up, maybe he wants to apologize for his shitty behavior? This would save this evening then. He needs to know. There is no way of getting any sleep tonight, if he doesn't understand what's going on between them and why the fuck Noel freaked out that much.

He places his feet on the floor and stumbles towards the entrance, Noel still banging on it.

He opens the door and finds a completely different Noel, from the one he admires or maybe has fallen in love with. The Noel in front of him looks like a complete wreck, and not in a good way.

“Hey!“ Noel says with a low voice, sounding guilty all over.

Cameron just nods, his facial expressions frozen, as he keeps standing in the door frame, blocking Noel from walking inside the room.

“Can I come in? I really want to apologize!“ Noel seems broken and Cameron recognizes a warm feeling spreading through his body at the word 'apologize'. _Hope_. There is still hope that they could move on.

He steps aside and lets Noel in, closing the door right after him. Noel stops in the middle of the room, fumbling with his fingers, as Cameron walks past him and sits down on his couch, turning his back to Noel. He lets his elbows rest on his thighs and buries his head in his hands.

“I'm sorry.“ it's almost a whisper, when Noel speaks up.

Cameron isn't able to speak yet. There is still the possibility that Noel continues with “I can't do this anymore. It's over!“ Cameron focuses on his breathing, waiting for Noel to go on. He hears him shuffling closer, but doesn't want to look him in the eyes and keeps staring at his feet.

“Cam, I acted like a prick and I'm really fucking sorry. I freaked out, because I felt panic washing over me when I saw you talking to Ruby. It looked like you two were flirting and I couldn't take it!“

Cameron’s eyes snap up to meet Noel’s, and the look of hurt that takes hold of his entire stature causes Cameron’s heart to drop. Noel stares at him with red-rimmed eyes and Cameron tries to fight a lump in his throat.

"What does that even mean?“ Cameron asks curiously.

Noel blinks quickly a few times to stop some tears from falling. "It means that I am fucking scared of losing you.“

Cameron feels the inside of his stomach melt. He gets up and steps closer to Noel. He takes his head in his hands and locks eyes with him. "And why would you lose me?“

Cameron sees Noel's breath caught in his throat as he glances at him and shrugs. "I.. I don’t know. You are much younger than me and have nothing to lose. Maybe for you it’s only a new experience, something to add to your 'I am young and make mistakes‘-list. But for me, it’s… it’s something _huge_ and _drastic_. And –“

The words are enough to make Cameron's stomach clench. He lets go of Noel’s cheeks and interrupts him with a sarcastic laugh. "I have nothing to lose? _Really Noel?_ Are you fucking serious?“

Noel just looks at him with glassy eyes, visibly depressed at having annoyed him again.

"I have _everything_  to lose! Being with you in this weird 'sort of relationship‘- thing means I could lose _you_! And this _is_  everything to me!“ Cameron’s voice is low at his last sentence. "And by the way – at the moment it seems like I’m the older one between us!“ he adds.

There is a small smile tugging at the corner of Noel’s mouth. "Yeah, that’s right. I’m fucking sorry you always have to deal with my shit.“

Cameron places his hands on Noel’s cheeks again to sooth him. "Hey – I want to deal with your shit, okay? Just tell me about your fears early enough to prevent you from going postal!“

Noel nods and leans forward, catching Cameron’s mouth, nipping at his bottom lip with his teeth and smoothing it over with his tongue. Cameron eagerly reciprocates and opens his mouth for him with a growling sound from the back of his throat. He feels Noel’s hands holding the back of his head as he pushes his tongue into his mouth.

"I was fucking scared you’ll leave me" Cameron murmurs as he kisses him, the kiss deepening in a matter of moments.

Noel smiles into the kiss. "I thought _you_ were going to leave _me_ , after I acted like some teeny-bitch!“ None of them disconnecting their lips while they speak, their hands still on their faces and necks.

"Maybe you should give me a reason not to leave.“ Cameron whispers with a cocky smile on his face.

Noel stops and narrows his eyes at him. He then takes Cameron’s hands and guides him to the bed.

Just from knowing what is going to happen now, Cameron’s dick twitches in his pants. Noel kisses him again, the soft slide of their tongues has a tinge of sweetness to it, as he starts undressing Cameron and himself. He throws away their jeans and t-shirts and with the strength of his body forces Cameron to lay down on his back, only in his boxers.

Cameron slides his hands up and down along Noel's back, feeling soft and horny, all at once. He knows it’s more than hunger and heat. There’s the need of having Noel around him, to feel safe and happy.

Cameron loves it when Noel kisses him like this. Like he is starving and Cameron is pure sustenance. Noel starts rolling slowly against him, both of them hard and impatient beneath the gentleness. Pants and groans fill the air, both closing their eyes at the sensation.

Cameron notices the lack of lips on his own, but doesn't need to open his eyes to see where they're gone. He feels Noel's lips travelling down his chest, leaving a trail of marks as he goes. Noel tugs at his boxers, while still trailing his tongue across the dip of Cameron's hipbone, biting gently at the highest point.

Finally his underwear is yanked off and discarded, freeing his erection. He feels Noel breathing hot against his dick. Fuck, his eyes shoot open and he lets out a heavy breath. He almost feels dizzy, because Noel has never been this close to his crotch with his goddamn beautiful face.

Cameron looks down at Noel and sees big blue eyes peering at him, while he bites down on his inner thigh, sucking gently and then smoothing his tongue over the spot, reveling in the sharp gasp Cameron emits.

Fuck, what is Noel going to do? It looks like he is going to give him a blow-job, but Cameron doesn't want to hold up his hopes. He knows that Noel feels more uncomfortable about this gay thing than him. And he is completely fine with all the other stuff they do. Fuck he's more than fine, he is in heaven! Plus he still has his imagination.

Before Cameron is able to stop thinking and concentrate on the hot kisses on his thighs again, Noel takes Cameron in his hand and starts licking a slow line from the base to the tip.

“ _Shit_!“ Cameron shudders out a breath and digs his fingers in Noel’s hair. The other boy swirls his tongue around the tip and wraps his lips carefully around Cameron, lowering slowly and hollowing his cheeks.

Cameron has to watch it, he can't take his eyes off of the beauty Noel lets him see and feel. The older boy pulls back off, licking around the tip and goes back down a few times, lowering down a little more each time, until Cameron feels the tip of his cock touching the back of Noel's throat.

“Holy fuck,” Cameron hisses out when Noel swallows around him and bobs his head in a steady pace. Cameron grabs the sheets until his knuckles go whiteー the feel of Noel's tongue hot and heavy on his dick. He has to fight the desire of bucking his hips. He just wants to let this wonderful thing happen to him.

Their eyes meet again and Cameron bites off his moan, when he sees Noel sinking back down, taking all of him in one movement. He can’t believe it’s the first time Noel is sucking a dick. He fucking knows what he’s doing. And he does it so damn good.

“Noel“ he breathes and throws his head back. He is not going to last. But he wants to. God, he wants to be inside Noel so badly.

Noel presses his tongue firmly to the underside as he agonizes back up.

As unbelievably awesome as it is, it is too much for Cameron to take. He runs his fingers sloppily through Noel’s hair and tugs onto it. “Noel, shit. Please. _Don't_.“ he isn't able to speak in full sentences now, but Noel must have got what he wanted to say, because he licks and sucks one last time and gets off Cameron with a pop.

Noel kisses his way back up to crash their lips in a harsh kiss. Cameron takes his head in his hands to kiss him with more passion and guides Noel onto his lap. The older one takes off his boxers and pushes his body down against the younger one, their cocks slowly rutting against each other. It draws a soft moan from Cameron, and he licks his lips, arching up slightly and settling his hands on Noel's hips.

Cameron sits up, pulling Noel fully onto his lap, needing him to be closer. He bites at Noel’s lip lightly, pleased when he hears a sharp gasp and wraps an arm around Noel’s neck.

"Lube?!“ Noel breathes out, but doesn’t wait for an answer and catches Cameron’s lips with his own again, more urgent this time.

Cameron tries to dig through his nightstand drawer with one hand, while the other one runs over Noel’s body, their mouths still attached. When he finds it, he wraps his arms around Noel’s back and coats his fingers with the lube behind him.

Noel lifts his ass a little bit, giving Cameron easier access as he moves his hand down between his legs, finding his hole and pushing one finger slowly inside. Noel’s unabashed blue eyes close at this moment, his full lips parting in panting moans as Cameron touches him.

Jesus fucking Christ. Noel hovering above him like this, Cameron could watch it forever.

He slides his finger in and out, deeper and rougher with everytime he goes in. When he adds another finger and applies some more pressure, he swears Noel’s arms shake.

" _Fuck_ ," Noel whispers as he drops his forehead to Cameron's, gritting his teeth and licking his lips.

Cameron leans forward and slides his tongue over Noel’s mouth, waiting for him to open it, while he adds the third finger, prepping Noel slowly and sweetly. Noel slowly rocks back against Cameron’s digits, as the kisses grow deeper and more urgent.

Cameron thrusts his fingers in more roughly, searching for Noel’s prostate and pressing against it once he finds it. God, he feels so damn good.

"Jesus." Noel gasps out, their moans turning desperate and fucking needy, in the hottest possible way. Cameron continues to aim his fingers at Noel’s prostate as he works him open.

  
"Okay, I'm good," Noel gets out, around the same time Cameron is satisfied that Noel is loose enough and getting impatient.

Cam grabs a condom and puts it on, pouring lube over his cock, while Noel hovers above him. He waits for his lover to maybe lie down on his back, before realizing that Noel has no intention of moving.

“Lie back,” Noel says, gently pushing the redhead with a hand on his chest. Cameron settles back on the bed and watches Noel straddle him. Holy shit, is Noel going to ride him? He couldn't get happier tonight. If he would die right now, he would die with a fucking smile on his face.

He takes Cameron's cock in one hand and runs his thumb over the tip, as he lines up with his hole. He lifts his ass and then slowly sinks down, throwing his head back, once he is fully seated.

A sharp breath is punched out of Cameron and he grips Noel's hips tightly, letting him take his time. God, it feels good. Noel is clenched around him in the absolute best way, and it knocks the breath out of him.

The brunet doesn't move, he just stares into Cameron's puppy green eyes and let's out a heavy sigh. He is so fucking beautiful, Cameron needs to kiss him right now.

He sits back up and cups Noel's face in both hands, as he kisses him slowly and sweetly. None of them moving for a time, which could be seconds or hours. Cameron doesn't know, he is too blissed out with the sensation of being inside Noel's warm and tight hole.

He feels Noel's hands grabbing his own and interlacing their fingers. Noel breaks the kiss and locks eyes with his lover. Both staring at each other and holding hands until Cameron decides that he can’t handle this slow build anymore, and starts jerking his hips forward slightly.

“Fuck, Noel, move… please move!” Cam moans, letting go of Noel's hands and grabbing at Noel's hips.

Noel gasps and arches his back. He then starts out with a slow grind, just rocking his hips, but not moving up at all. Keeping Cameron’s cock deep inside himself and stimulating every nerve inside him.

It takes everything Cameron has not to buckle his hips, to let the older boy take it as slow as he wants. When he finally pulls back up and slides down, Cameron’s mouth drops open, as Noel's face contorts into the best kinds of expressions Cameron has ever seen.

"Fuck." It's no more than a breath, and Cameron squeezes his eyes shut, digging his fingertips into Noel's skin, as Noel slowly starts to ride him. Noel grunts with every thrust in, low and gravelly and Cameron would swear he could come from those noises alone.

Noel bucks into the sensation, pushing the redhead to lie on his back again, as their rhythm fall into a perfect harmony. Cameron thrusts his hips up to meet Noel’s movements, while Noel tries to get hold of something, leaning forward to brace his hands against Cameron’s chest.

Oh god, Cameron feels him everywhere, in his nerves and his bones. This feeling combined with the sight of Noel's amazing body on top of his own, those amazing little noises he makes, the way he bites his bottom lip with every push of Cameron's cock inside him... It's perfect.

Noel pants as he speeds up his rocking, riding Cameron at a faster pace and moaning. Cameron shifts a little underneath him, until he gets the right angle hitting Noel's prostate. The black haired man approves it, that much Cameron concludes from the way it gets a series of pleased, almost startled moans out of him, and how Noel's fingers curl into fists against Cameron's chest.

Cameron can't resist the urge to surge up to a seated position, placing one hand on Noel’s lower back, encouraging him to keep rocking his hips.

Noel moans and threads his fingers into Cameron's hair. “Fuck Cam…” he pants and rocks the younger one's lap. “Fuck, I need you to fuck me!“ he cries out and Cameron swears Noel's thighs are trembling as he grips tighter at Cameron's hair.

Shit, Cameron doesn’t need not to be told twice. He flips them over so he can thrust harder into Noel, trying to hit his prostate everytime he goes in deeper.

Noel puts his arms around Cameron to pull him down and capture his mouth in a deep, hungry kiss, which causes Cameron to moan against his lips, mind reeling with the intensity of it all.

“Oh my... Fuck I'm close!“ Noel cries out. Cameron moves one of his hands from beside Noel’s head and reaches down to stroke Noel's cock slowly, precome making his fingers slick.

Noel's blue eyes are closed, lips parted in short, panting breaths, and Cameron takes his time to admire seeing Noel this way.

"Oh, fuck," Noel practically whines, Cameron making sure the pace is nicely matched with the strokes of his hand. He thrusts upward more roughly, making Noel whimper. He knows, that Noel is so fucking close.

Shit, he feels so good in his hand, so good around him.

Noel's hips start to stutter and his back arches as he comes with a loud cry, digging his fingernails into Cameron's skin. His come coating his and Cameron's stomachs as he clenched around Cam's cock, making Cameron's final thrusts into him slippery between them.

Noel falling to pieces is the hottest thing Cameron has ever seen and he can't resist the urge to crash his lips onto Noel's, while his lover tries to calm down from his orgasm. Cameron does his very best not to move, knowing that Noel must be too sensitive to keep going.

He still wants to lose himself in Noel, lose himself in the way he feels, his hole still tightens around Cameron's hard and leaking dick. But he doesn't want Noel to get hurt, so he starts to slowly pull out.

“It's okay, you can go on!“ he hears a wrecked whisper in his ears.

“You sure?“ he asks, wanting it so damn badly and hoping the answer will be yes.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Don't stop!“ Noel says smiling, crashing their lips together for a kiss.

Cameron takes the permission and picks up the pace, trying to avoid Noel's prostate as he snaps his hips forward. Noel grabs Cameron's neck, holding him close and exhales sharply with every deep thrust. Cameron burrows his face against Noel's neck and inhales his scent.

“Fuck, Noel!“ he moans, a blissful edge to the sound, knowing he isn’t gonna last very long with Noel wrapped tight and hot around him. Being inside of him, feeling his hands all over his body, listening to the sounds he emits and smelling his sweet scent combined with the sweat of their moves is too much for him to handle.

As Noel captures Cameron's lips and bites down his lower lip, it's all it takes for him to fall right over the edge. The orgasm hits him with such an intensity that he stops breathing for a moment. His mouth gapes open as he tries to catch it, still pounding through his orgasm and moaning the Noel’s name over and over.

He collapses on Noel, nuzzling his face in Noel’s neck, and tries to calm down from his high, every energy gone from his body. He feels Noel’s heart beating as fast as his does in his chest, neither of them moving an inch.

"Cam?“ Noel whispers in his ear.

Cameron could have stayed longer in this position, but decides that it’s time to pull out of Noel and leans on his elbows to look in those beautiful blue eyes again. Their cum still sticky between their stomachs.

"I’m really fucking happy!“ Noel says with a low voice and Cameron sees him blinking tears away. He feels a flush creeping up his neck and becomes aware of the heavy flutter in his chest.

Fuck, this is all he has ever wanted to hear since they started to make out.

Cameron brushes Noel’s hair back with his fingers, mumbling a soft "Me too!“ before leaning down and kissing him so softly, he suddenly feels completely vulnerable. He takes his time to savor this sweet kiss, before he disconnects their lips to lay beside Noel. Cameron takes a towel from beside the bed and rubs their stomachs clean. He then places a quick kiss on Noel’s belly and looks him deep in the eyes, resting his head on his hands.

"So we’re officially dating now?“ he asks with a big smile on his face.

"Dating? Man we get each other off every time we see each other. I think we are far beyond dating!“ Noel huffs out a laugh and fondles with his fingers over Cameron’s cheek in a loving way.

"I know! But maybe it’s good for us to do it just because of that!“ Cameron states.

“You really wanna go on a date? I mean.. we hang out together a lot, I think we already know about our favorite music and small talk stuff.“ Noel wriggles his eyebrows.

“We wouldn't talk about superficial stuff!“ Cameron explains.

“Okay, something special you wanna talk about? We can also have a serious conversation here. We just need to get dressed, to stop us from fucking again.“ the black haired boy says and Cameron's heart drops.

“Yeah, no.. I mean.. We don't need to do this if you don't want to.“ he stutters and averts his gaze.

Noel must have recognized his disappointment and shuffles closer to him, wrapping his arms around Cameron's neck to pull him into a quick kiss. “It's not that I don't want to go on a date with you.. it's the 'officially' part that scares me.“ Noel admits.

Cameron nods, he shouldn't have asked. He feels bad for pushing Noel. He is lucky to have Noel here with him. He doesn't need more to be the happiest guy on earth. “Yeah, it's okay. I mean, we wouldn't hold hands or kiss or some other shit 'official boyfriends' do, but.. maybe going for a beer and playing pool or something.“ Cameron tries to save the day. But after he finished talking, he sees much more confusion in those big blue eyes than before.

“ _Boyfriends_?“ Noel's brows shoots up as high as possible.

Shit. Noel told him the first time, that he is happy with how things are, and he always ruins everything with rushing forward to the next level. Cameron needs a hole in the ground right now, in which he could fall into. He feels his cheeks heat up and nuzzles his head in Noel's neck to hide his embarrassment.

Noel wanders his hands through Cameron's hair and tugs a little to make him look up again, but Cameron still avoids his eyes. “Hey. It's okay. I wanna go on a beer with you and play pool or something.“ Noel nearly whispers and as soon as the words are spoken, Cameron's eyes are locked with Noel's.

Fuck, he knows his cheeks are getting even more red. “No really, we don't nee-“ but he is cut off by another quick kiss from Noel.

“I really want to go on a 'maybe not quite as officially' date with you!“ Noel says and smirks.

Cameron doesn't say anything more. He considers that it's better for him to keep his mouth shut. Otherwise he would have overstrained Noel again with his silly teenage happiness, about having a date.

He gives Noel a smile. Not the biggest possible one, because he tries to stop the corner of his mouth reaching his ears and then falls limb next to his 'not quite as officially' boyfriend.

He would have never considered this night to end this way. But _fuck_ , if it's not the best possible way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any consideration about the date?
> 
> Tell me what you think about it :)
> 
> XXX


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom! Another chapter for you. Enjoy!
> 
> XXX
> 
> P.S.: Once again, thank you LuckyShaz for correcting this chapter!

Some days have passed since their date conversation in Cameron's bed, but they haven’t done it yet. There’s just no way they can get out of the hotel room. Everytime they get dressed, one of them starts with “God you look so hot right now!“ and soon after they‘ll crash their lips together and start fumbling and rubbing and licking and sucking, and jerking each other off then fucking of course.

Holy shit, Cameron tries to distract his thoughts from their sex, because everytime he finds himself thinking about it, he gets hard instantly. He feels like a fucking teenager, who‘s experiencing his sexuality for the first time.

He had had enough girls before and it was always good, sometimes it was really good. But it was never as awesome and breathtaking as it is with Noel. And his lust for sex was never bigger. He just can’t get enough of it. He can’t get enough of _Noel_. Everytime they sleep with each other he feels complete and great, even imperturbable. When they don’t he still feels great, but not as imperturbable as with the lover beneath or above him.

Unfortunately Cameron knows, that their last shoot together moves closer. Like really close – it's tomorrow. And they haven't spoken a word about what they are going to do, when it's over. Usually Noel leaves shortly thereafter and Cameron has to stay, he has some more shooting to do. Luckily not for long, because they did a lot earlier, when Noel was at home. There is only one more week of work, until it's over for all of them.

Cameron really wants to go on a date with Noel, but after tomorrows last shoot together, the whole cast is going to a dinner as a goodbye for Noel and then bowling afterwards. So tomorrow won’t be a lot of time for them to spend together.

So they should probably go out tonight. Who knows when he is able to see Noel again? Fuck, Cameron knows that he will miss him like crazy. Just the thought of his absence hurts like a motherfucker in his chest.

He should definitely go out with him tonight, spend some more quality time with his 'sort of' boyfriend, with a lot of cuddling and kissing afterwards in their hotel room. Tomorrow he will have to share him with their friends, so their last day alone (for god knows how long) has to be special.

Cameron heads back to the hotel in the early evening, determined to pick Noel up. He won't enter the room, because this could be enough to fall over each other again. He knocks at Noel's door, recognizing the flutter in his stomach. The thought of Noel opening the door and smiling at him alone makes his heart pound in an extremely fast way.

The door swings open and as the two of them lock eyes, the corner of their mouths nearly reach their earlobes. God, he is so beautiful, Cameron can't think straight. He is close to forgeting about his transaction and wants to kiss Noel, pressing his body back to his bed. But as Noel steps aside to let Cameron in, he takes a deep breath and stays put.

“No.“ is all Cameron says, noticing that Noel doesn't get what he means. “Let's go out!“ he adds quickly.

“Now?!“ Noel is visibly surprised.

“Yes _now_! I won't come in, because then we won't come out again. So please, get your horny ass out here, right _now_.“ Cameron smiles.

“Jesus, stop bossing me around or you'll have to deal with my boner.“ Noel whispers and smiles cheekily.

“I promise to deal with your boner later, but please let us go out this one time!“ the younger boy pleads.

Noel turns around, taking his jacket and the keys from the wardrobe and joins Cameron in the corridor. “Okay, let's go!“

 

 

The place Cameron takes them to is a bar, filled with people in their twenties and thirties, all of them enjoying drinks, playing pool and dancing to the music in the background.

Cameron can see Noel's shoulders relax, as they enter the pub, making Cameron's expression turn relieved. Nobody would stare at them, they are just friends hanging out together, although it is a fucking date and it's still so surreal for Cameron and hits him every time: _They are doing this._

“So you wanna play first, or have some beer and fries then play afterwards?“ Cameron asks.

“I think I need to get you drunk first, cause I won't let you win another fucking game!“ Noel says with a goofy smile on his face and Cameron punches him in the shoulder.

They have managed to get through the crowd unnoticed to a table in the corner of the bar that's miraculously vacant and get a couple of beers, as well as two baskets of hot fries.

They take their seats, opposite each other and Cameron can't stop staring at his 'sort of' boyfriend, who is on a 'maybe not quite as officially' date with him. Fuck, he never thought he could want someone as much as he wants Noel. He really needs to make it right.

He is longing to hear, if Noel wants this too, if he wants to keep seeing him, when filming ends. Cameron suspects it, because this is what 'sort of' boyfriends do, right? But the fact, that they haven't spoken about it, makes him doubt it a little bit. He knows he has to ask about it tonight, but maybe they should relax and enjoy their date first.

It runs surprisingly smoothly, once they get into it. They talk about different stuff, stuff they didn‘t know about each other before: places they've seen, their childhood, why they wanted to become actors, movies they want to make in the future and lots of other things.

Cameron realizes that there really isn't much difference between this and how they usually hang out, except for the fact that they share different looks now and stare at each other for longer than what would be considered appropriate for two friends.

"So..." Cameron starts after a short moment of silence, in which he appreciates the way Noel is grabbing a few fries, before taking a bite out of them. “last shoot tomorrow, huh?“

Noel looks up, a smile so decent crossing his face, as if he wants it to say, that he can't believe what happened while they were shooting. He nods. “Yeah, time went by pretty fast!“

Awkward nervousness is creeping up Cameron's mind, as he tries to find the right words for his next topic. He takes a deep swig of beer and bites his lower lip. He needs to know.

“Spit it out, firecrotch!“ Noel says, sounding like Mickey Milkovitch, the person his role Ian Gallagher fell in love with. Isn't it ironic?

“So you're... you're leaving the day after tomorrow?“ Cameron asks and can't stop his cheeks from turning red. The other one doesn't answer immediately, just looks him deep in the eyes for a few seconds.

“Do you want me to leave?“ he responds, breaking the silence but not their locked gazes.

“No. Of course not!“ The answer comes fast. Cameron doesn't need to think twice about it. He doesn't want Noel to ever leave, god if he could he would want the rest of his life to stay like the past couple of days.

“Then no!“ Noel's look is so intense, Cameron gets goose bumps all over his body.

“You'll stay?“ he asks dumbly, as if he can't unterstand the meaning of Noel's words. But he needs to be sure about it, doesn't want to build up his hopes.

“Yeah, no need to hurry home. Not anymore.“ Noel says and Cameron feels his heart skip a beat.

“ _Fuck_!“ is all Cameron is able to mutter, with one of the biggest smiles on his mouth.

“Good fuck or bad fuck?“ Noel questions, as if he doesn't already know the answer and Cameron can't stop himself from staring at this beautiful smiling man.

“Shut up, I‘m doing my best to prevent myself from leaning forward and kissing you.“ Cameron whispers loud enough for Noel to hear it. And it‘s really taking a lot of energy for him to just sit and smile dumbly.

He'll stay another week. Another week of waking up beside him. The blue of his eyes is the first thing Cameron wants to see in the morning, his scent the first thing he wants to smell, his lips the first thing to taste and his body the first thing to touch. Another week of cuddling and fumbling, kissing and biting, sucking and fucking. Shit, Noel doesn't know he made him the happiest man right now. The flutter in his stomach doesn't stop and Cameron really needs to concentrate on normal breathing again.

One week. One fucking great week.

“And then?“ Cameron blurts out before he can stop himself, and for a split second, he can pretend he didn't actually say it. Fuck. Why does he always have to rush things? Noel seems to have just gotten comfortable with their 'sort of' boyfriends situation, and all Cameron is doing is thinking about the next step, instead of relaxing into the wonderful world they've created for each other now.

Cameron opens his mouth to rectify it, to say something to fix what he had just spilled out, but he doesn't get the chance.

“And _then_... we should think about where I should move.“ Noel says it, as if it's no big deal. But Cameron's world stopped turning at the word 'we‘, that came out of Noel's mouth.

“What does that mean?“ Cameron hears himself asking another dumbass question. But it only causes Noel to give him a soft smile and knit his brows.

“You know how moving works, right? You have to pack all your stuff in some little boxes, move them out of your old flat and put them in the new one, which could be in the same city, or somewhere else, like I don't know, _L.A_. for example?“ Noel responds, his voice carrying no excitement, but Cameron guesses that he's hiding. Noel _must_ be excited or nervous, because for Cameron it sounded like a subliminaled question, if he should move to Cameron, to L.A.

Cameron's mouth gapes open and he blinks a few times, as if this would help him to understand the situation better. No way Noel really said that? And if he did, Cameron should not respond like a fucking teenager and scream “YES, YES, YES, OH YES!“ in his face. So he stays silent, just swallowing dryly and peering at Noel.

“You hear me, Cam?“ Noel asks visibly confused with a whiff of uncertainty in his tone.

“Yeah.. yeah. I just..I..I.. don't know if I can trust my ears? Because if I do, you will have made me happier, than I ever thought I could be, right now. So..“ Cameron looks shyly into the blue eyes he loves so much, trying to read anything out of them.

“Well you can. But I think I can make you even happier tonight!“ Noel says, cocky.

Fuck, since when did he get so flirty and self confident? It doesn't matter, all Cameron wants to do right now is to trace his hands all over Noel's body and give him some piece of his own happiness back.

“Let's go!“ he blurts out.

“Wait. What? We haven't even played pool yet!“ the older boy questions Cameron's weird reaction.

“ _Noel_ if you don't want to fuck me right here in public, you need to abdicate fucking pool for once and move your pretty ass back to the hotel room. RIGHT _FUCKING_ NOW!“ God he sounds needy. But for fuck's sake he is! He doesn't want to think of the whole way they have to walk, before being in one of their rooms and sticking his already half hard dick in his lover's ass.

Cameron pays at the bar, or more precisely throws some money at the bartender and shouts “Keep the change!“ which must be a lot, because the man behind the bar looks as if he can't believe his luck. But Cameron doesn’t care one bit, his only aim is to get home as fast as possible and get Noel out of his clothes.

They head to the entrance, hearing some “Oh my god, this is Cameron Monaghan and Noel Fisher! GALLAVICH FOR LIFE!“- screams coming from the crowd. Both don't turn around. If things would be different right now, they would have talked to their fans and taken some pictures. But this is the last thing on Cameron's mind now. And the way Noel didn't hesitate to get out of his chair, makes Cameron believe it's also the last thing on the older boy's mind.

They storm out of the bar and without talking to each other start running up the streets. The way back to their place is one of the longest and most excruciating Cameron has ever experienced. It's not even that far, but he can't help it, he needs Noel naked and beneath him.

Finally, after what feels like hours of running, but might be 8 minutes or something, they arrive at their hotel, making their way to the elevator. They would have taken the stairs to get up as fast as possible, but are too breathless from their walk, knowing that they need all of the energy for the upcoming event.

The door closes behind them and Cameron takes the opportunity to crash his lips onto Noel's. The kiss is hungry and heated and Cameron feels his dick swelling and beginning to pulse. Noel seems to welcome the heat washing over him and matches Cam’s desperate rubbing to physically connection.

When they hear the jingle of the opening lift door they tear apart, trying to catch their breaths again. They head out of the elevator towards Cameron’s room, who fiddles with his fingers in his pockets to get the keys to his room, Noel close behind him.

“Open it!“ Noel hustles him. But of course, it doesn’t work. The more he tries to get the key in the keyhole, the more he fails.

“Give it to me!“ Noel snaps the key out of his hands. Wow, always so impatient.

“I promise, I will!“ Cameron answers cheeky, causing Noel to roll his eyes.

Finally the door swings open, Noel grabs Cameron by his collar and pulls him into the room. Cameron slams the door closed behind his back, grips Noel’s hips and moves them both backwards, until his lover is pressed against the wall. He brushes their lips together, the touch sends a spark of electricity through his body. He can’t concentrate on anything but where Noel’s touch is burning into his skin and all he can focus on his how Noel smells, how his body feels, the soft sound of his breathing against his neck. It's everything.

Noel's hands run up and down Cameron’s back causing his eyes to drift shut again, a sigh escaping him.

Cameron isn't sure how it happens, but in a blissfully short time span, their clothes have been shed and Cameron pulls their boxers down in one swoop.

Oh god, he can't get enough of what it does to his stomach, everytime he sees Noel naked infront of him. Fuck, he's already hard. How the hell did that happen?

As Cameron kisses Noel again, the black haired man inhales sharply, yanking him closer and grinding against him.

Cameron tightens his grip on Noel's hips and guides him backwards through the room to his bed, never letting go of his lips. He pushes him slightly to lie back on the bed, Noel grabbing him and roughly pulling his body down on top of him. Cameron groans against his mouth as their lips meet, tongues moving together and making his head swim with feelings of heat and bliss.

_He won't leave. He stays. He moves to his town._

Cameron can't believe how happy Noel makes him. He kisses along his jaw to his neck and allows himself to get lost in his scent.

Noel groans desperately, as Cameron's hand wraps around his dick and starts slowly stroking him a few times, while the other hand takes the lube from the drawer next to them.

He can feel Noel's hot and erratic breath on his face, turning him even more on, as if that is possible at this juncture.

Noel makes a sound of protest, when Cameron stops stroking to get his fingers slicked with lube. He pushes one finger in his hole and Noel opens his eyes just a little to lock their gazes. Cameron wonders, if he'll ever get used to what Noel's dazed expression does to him.

Slowly Cameron adds the second and third finger, one after another, to open Noel up, trying to go slow but muscles shaking as he hovers above Noel's body, his mouth alternates between biting, licking and kissing his chest, leaving marks there.

Noel is writhing underneath him, gripping Cameron's shoulder tightly enough to bruise, pulling his face back up to his own, to kiss him deeply and ravenously.

Cameron considers this as Noel's way of showing him how badly he wants to expedite things. So he rips a condom packet open to unroll it onto his impressive length and moves one hand up to Noel's face, smoothing his thumb over Noel's cheekbone, while the other hand guides his dick into his hole.

Both let out a pleasured cry, as Cameron slowly pushes in, with each move a little more, until he is fully bottomed out.

Shit, Cameron feels the warmth of Noel engulfing him and it takes him a lot to stay still, not moving until Noel lets him.

He uses this time to feel Noel's damp skin under his fingers, shaky and smooth. To feel Noel's thumb on his wrist, the unsteady beat of his heart in his veins. To feel Noel's breath on his mouth, his tongue on his tongue, his eyes on his eyes.

Fuck, he can feel him everywhere, but he knows it can't never be too much.

Finally he notices Noel wriggling around him, needy and urgent, joining their bodies together, giving into the tormenting urge overwhelming their minds. When Cameron starts thrusting, Noel's only response to that is a deep, throaty moan. Noel moves his hands around Cameron's waist, trying to find something to hold on to and starts thrusting upwards to meet Cam's movements.

“Fuck this feels so good!“ Cameron breathes out, placing his hands under Noel's asscheeks to lift him up a little bit and thrust deeper inside. Noel whimpers, arches his back and squeezes his eyes shut.

Cameron wants to do this forever, to forever get the series of small grunts Noel let's out. Ge those sounds out of the man who means so much to him. He knows, that Noel loves it when Cameron goes fast, all rough and demanding, borderline violent, so he speeds up a little bit, fucking him deep and hard, moaning shakily in Noel's ears.

Noel keeps his eyes closed, grips the pillow tighter, brow furrowing as he emits the most embarrassing sounds. His fingers run through Cameron's hair and grabs it, causing Cameron to let out a surprised cry at the painful pleasure of it.

When Cameron finds Noel’s prostate, the moan Noel emits is loud, stunned, and he grips the pillow so hard his knuckles turn white. Fuck it’s so damn good. Noel is a panting sweaty mess, and their gazes lock for about a second, before Cameron tilts his head and bites down on to Noel’s shoulder. He then moves his lips and latches them on to Noel’s neck, sucking a hickey into the side of his neck. Noel shamelessly lets out a groaning whimper at the feel of it. One deep moan after another is being punched out of Noel as Cameron pounds into him.

The older man circles his hips slowly, his ass rubbing against Cameron’s balls, bringing him closer to the edge. Fuck, this is killing him. Cameron isn’t ready for this, there’s no fucking way he is going to last.

Noel closes his eyes, fists gripping the pillow above his head and lets out a deep, guttural groan from his throat.

Jesus fucking Christ, Cameron just might lose it, he knows he is about to come any second.

“Look at me.“ Cameron breathes out, panting so heavily that the words are almost inaudible. But Noel must have heard it, because he opens his eyes and bites down on his lower lip.

"I’m coming! Fuck Noel. Come for me. Come _with_ me.“ he mumbles as he fucks him harder, deeper, using his other hand to jerk Noel in time with his movements. Noel nods and Cameron can feel his hole beginning to tighten around him, adding to the pleasure, which is enough to push him over the edge. He moanes loudly as he comes into his lover, never stopping his thrusts during his orgasm until Noel reaches the climax with a guttural moan ripped from his throat.

Cameron collapses on Noel’s body, breathing heavy into his chest, his mouth open to taste the salty sweat of him. He can’t really think properly, can’t really see or hear, needs some time to come down from this fabulous orgasm. He feels Noel’s hands running through his hair and the back of his neck, making circles with his thumb.

When he catches his breath again, he pulls out of Noel, rolling off of him, disposing the condom and then lays down flat on his back. He turns his head and sees bright blue eyes shining at him with the sweetest smile Cameron has ever seen.

Fuck, this is exactly how it should always be.

He slides his hand across the mattress, until he finds Noel's hand, their fingers immediately lacing together, and he lets out a heavy breath.

 _He won’t leave. He stays. He’s here with him_.

“Fuck I should've told you about my moving a lot earlier!“ Noel smirks.

He's moving. To his town. Is this really happening?

“You're really moving to L.A.?“ Cameron questions it once again.

“Okay, so don't you want me to or why you keep asking me that?“ Noel furrows his brows.

“Fuck, of course I do! I just can't believe what has happened between us in only a bit more than a month and how great things are right now!“ Cameron leans in to press a soft and gentle kiss on Noel's lips, showing him that he wants nothing more than this.

“Yeah, strange things happen man.“ Noel comments and for a brief moment Cameron feels a sting in his heart at the word 'strange'.

_He‘s staying. He's not leaving. He moving to his town._

He repeats this words over and over in his head.

He must have had a sad look on his face, because Noel rapidly adds “Good strange things, you know?“ and this time he's the one who goes for an intensive kiss, which leaves Cameron smiling.

“You know a place where I can crash before I find somewhere to live?“ Noel asks.

Of fucking course Cameron knows a place where he can stay, even if it would be for forever. His place! It's big enough and Cameron would really like to have Noel over. It would be a little like they've spent their days here. He just doesn't know if they've already come so far as to talk about living together. He doubts Noel would take his offer and maybe it would scare him away.

But fuck, absolutely nothing in the last couple of weeks has gone like he thought it would at the beginning of their shoots. So why not take another risk?

“You can.. move to my place, you know?“ Cameron offers. Fuck, he did it. He asked his lover on screen to live with him. There's no way he isn't gay anymore. Even if he can't imagine having feelings for any other guy, not to mention the sex. But living with a guy is probably not as gay as all the other things he‘s used to doing with Noel.

Cameron notices the nervous expression of Noel's face. Shit, he scared him. Always one step too much.

“We..I.. I haven't came out yet, so what would it look like, if I move to your place?“ Noel asks.

Right. Noel is definitly right and he should leave it at that. But..

“It would look like we're roommates! Until we tell them something different.“ Cameron explains.

For fuck's sake, why can't he just let the topic drop? Noel's probably getting stressed out.

“ _Roommates_ , huh?“ Noel huffs out a laugh. “And what would we tell them then?“ The older boy looks at him challengingly.

Oh oh. There's no way out. What's the best answer to that, for someone who would like to stay in secret?

“That... that we like each other and are a bit more than.. _roommates_? That we are... uhm..like..uhm..“ Cameron tries to carefully utter the right words.

“I think the word you're looking for is 'boyfriends'“ Noel says.

Silence.

Is this a test? Should he answer to that? Fuck, he is too scared of losing Noel, he wants to make it right. What's the right reply to that? Maybe staying silent and just nodding slightly.

“Aren't we?“ Noel's expression is suddenly one of anxious expectation, like he's terrified Cameron might say no. It takes Cameron's breath away and his throat goes dry. He swallows, but it doesn't really help.

“I don't know, do you want me to be your boyfriend?“ Cameron asks hesitantly.

“I mean we're together, like dating, and...“ Noel blinks a few times, opening his mouth, then closing it, at a complete loss for words.

Cameron sees him struggling, and all of this is that’s now coming from Noel is enough to make his brain temporarily fuzzy.

“Fuck Noel, I want to be your boyfriend!“ Cameron spurts out visibly relieved and happy, grabbing Noel's hand, where it rests in the middle of the bed.

"Sounds good." Noel replies with a smile on his face, as he turns his gaze to their interlocked hands. He lifts their hands and brings them to his lips, placing soft kisses on Cameron's back of his hand. “ _Boyfriends_.“ he whispers, his tone soft in a way that calms every single nerve in Cameron's body. Noel all of the sudden sounds so sure, so content, and Cameron realizes that nothing has ever made him feel this certain about anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you like where the story goes?
> 
> Thanks for leaving comments and kudos! <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly a little impressed with myself for keeping up with the schedule so far, hehe.
> 
> Thank you for reading my lovelies. Here's a new chapter for you, I hope you enjoy it <3
> 
> And thank you LuckyShaz for your constantly support with this story! For editing every chapter and always finding the right words that make me smile :)

Waking up close to Cameron feels nothing less than fantastic. The past days seem like a dream - a dream Noel never wants to wake up from.

'I want to be your boyfriend!' Cameron's words echo in his head.

Noel could just stare for hours at Cameron lying naked beside him, peacefully asleep. He's such a beautiful man, Noel can't believe that he is his now. Not Ruby's or any other girl's or boy's - Cameron is his and this makes him really happy and proud.

He knows there are a few hurdles to overcome, like coming out to his family and friends, but as long as he has such intimate and loving moments with Cameron to share, he's less afraid of it, because he knows that it's worth the fear.

Though he can't deny, that he doesn't want to come out very soon. It's not that he is ashamed of it, no, he really is proud of having such a beautiful, handsome, funny, sensible and talented boyfriend. But it's because of his visions about his life.

Just a few weeks ago he was still engaged and having a baby wasn't that far away. His mother and father were looking forward to Layla's and his wedding and also to become grandparents. What would they think about his sexual orientation now? He's sure that they are going to be very sad about his breakup and about the fact they may never get grandchildren.

Noel is also sad about this point, because he really loves kids and always wanted to have some. Sure there are other possibilities of getting a baby, like adoption for example. But Noel has just accepted that he is in love with his friend and partner on set, he is far away from a conversation with Cameron about having a baby.

He looks to his right and sees Cameron stirring awake.

“Good morning, sleepyface.“ Noel whispers.

Cameron moves first, shuffling closer and pressing his lips against Noel's in a surprisingly soft, gentle kiss. It's like a shot of endorphins, and Noel melts into it.

“It definitely is!“ Cameron mumbles into the kiss.

How can three little words make the butterflies in his stomach starting to fly around? Which, by the way, are not even _the_ three words that none of them have said yet. After such a short time, you can‘t speak of love, can you?

Noel has to admit, that he’s already had to stop himself before the words were slipping from his mouth, because in some certain moments he has with Cameron, it feels just right to say it. But his head always beats the heart and so he bites down the desire.

He concentrates on Cameron again, as the younger boy slides down his body, placing hot and wet kisses on the way from Noel's mouth to his crotch.

“You know we have to get up and shoot our last scene together, right?“ Noel forces himself to say, although he wants nothing more than to lose himself in Cameron's touch.

“You undervalue my ability to make you scream in only 5 minutes!“ Cameron hotly whispers in Noel's inner tigh, ghosting his lips over the tip of Noel's growing erection before taking him in slowly, swallowing down as much of his lover as he can.

“ _Fuck_ ” Noel mutters, blinking against the pleasure and throwing his head back.

Cameron is the one who undervalues his ability, because Noel is sure he won't last five long minutes.

 

 

“That's it, huh?“ Mickey says, voice sounding broken, as he stands just a few metres from the boarder, infront of Ian in a black dress with colorful flowers on it.

Noel tries to put every emotion it needs in this scene. Usually he manages to get tears in his eyes, thinking of a tragic loss in his childhood. But this time he doesn't need to bring up those memories. He just looks at Cameron and imagines that it is him and not Ian telling Noel goodbye. This is all it needs for Noel's heart to break, making it easy for him to play Mickey completely broken again.

In the back of his mind he keeps telling himself that it's just a scene and that the hurt is only temporary. Noel doesn't want to conceive, that this happens for real - Cameron leaving him.

His admiration for Mickey increases with every scene. Damn he went through a fucked up childhood and already lost the love of his life a few times. How can he still be such a tough guy, allowing himself to love Ian again and again, no matter how often Ian smashes his heart?

Noel can't believe that he would be able to behave like Mickey if this would happen for real. If Cameron would leave him only once, he would fall into pieces, unable to rebuild himself and his life.

But when it comes to their last kiss for the scene, it crosses Noel’s mind, why Mickey probably allows Ian to come close again and again. His kisses are intoxicating, making him alive. Noel knows that he would want to have it again and again and again, no matter what the future holds for them.

God, he loves him so much. He so desperately loves this beautiful, soft-hearted, young man, and he leans forward to press his forehead against Cameron's, inhaling the scent of his skin, letting his hands rest at Cameron's chest for a short moment, before turning around and getting in the car.

Fuck, just like Mickey he is fucked for life. Mickey will never be able to forget Ian or love somebody else. And neither will Noel.

That he knows for sure.

 

 

“You fucking assholes broke my little Gallavich heart into pieces once again!“ Emma shouts, as Noel and Cameron enter the restaurant, where the whole cast meets. This intends to be a goodbye dinner for Noel, although he's not leaving, which his colleagues don't know yet.

They head to their table, taking a seat next to each other, opposite of Emma and Emmy, with Jeremy next to Noel.

“Fuck, your last scene together was so sweet, perfect and heart breaking all at once, I cried while I was watching you. I really don’t wanna know how sad it's going to be after the scene is processed with music in the background! You are going to break many hearts, guys!“ Emmy comments.

“Thanks, but it's not written by us, so you need to praise John for it!“ Cameron smiles at her.

“No it's not about how the story is written, it's about your acting. You have such good chemistry together, you play them so damn good. Fuck, you make everybody want your love story to be real!“ Emma says and Emmy adds a “Yeah that would be great!“ to it, making Noel wriggle nervously on his seat, heat creeping up his neck. He recognizes Jeremy's look on him, nodding as if he wants to say 'Come on guys, it's the best moment to tell them!' but he can't.

Instead he just blushes and smiles, mumbling a “Wow, thanks!“ and trying to get out of this conversation.

He looks to Cameron, hoping that his wonderful green eyes and bright smile will calm him down once again, as they use to do it everytime he's upset and looking for help. But the readhead just stares at the table, biting at his lower lip. Perhaps this talk has also embarrassed him. Both of them don't want to lie to their friends, but not saying anything isn't lying, right?

Noel is glad, that after another few congratulations about their shoot from Steve, Shanola and William, Emmy and Emma let the topic drop. They order their food and chit-chat about the great work Emmy did, first time as a director.

 

 

“I really hope we make it to season 8.“ William says, chewing his steak and looking at the crowd.

“Yeah, Shameless is such a great show, it’s so much fun filming it!“ Emmy gives him right.

“And if we make it, I really hope Mickey comes back and they get their happily ever after!“ Emma remarks, all of them agreeing to it.

Noel is proud that Mickey is that popular. He would have never thought, that there would be so many positive reactions at the audition for his role. No one would have ever imagined the Gallavich hype.

He is also of the opinion, that Mickey deserves better and more. He's glad that he isn't in jail anymore, but once again he can't be with the love of his life. This can't be the end.

“Yeah, I would be blessed coming back for season 8. But it's not in my hands.“ he says.

“Fuck, we know. But now you need the time to take care of Layla anyway. How is she?“ Emmy asks.

Fuck, is it getting hot in here? Noel feels some sweat rolling off his forehead.

“Uhm.. she's good. Yeah, of course she's sad, but she accepts what happened and is trying to move on.“ Noel says without even knowing anything from her after his leaving. He wanted to call her a few times, asking how she's doing, but he couldn't. He still feels bad for breaking up with her, not telling her the true reason for his decision. But he will, that's for sure. He owes her the truth.

Noel can see in the corner of his eyes, that Cameron gets up. He takes his jacket and heads out of the restaurant, leaving his meal untouched.

“Oh man, wrong answer!“ Jeremy whispers into Noel's ear, causing his heart to drop. What has he done wrong?

“Something's wrong with him?“ Emmy asks, knitting her eyebrows together.  
“I'll go look!“ Noel says, getting up and out of the restaurant.

He looks around and sees Cameron walking away, heading to the direction of the hotel. Fuck, this boy has really long legs, Noel has to run to catch up.

“Hey Cam!“ he grabs him by the shoulders, forcing him to turn around. Shit, he looks angry.“What the fuck is wrong with you?“ Noel questions, making Cameron huff a laugh sarcastically.

“What's wrong with _me_? Really? With _me_?“ Cameron turns around and starts walking again.

“W.. What? Is this because of what I said about Layla?“ Noel asks, trying to keep up with his steps.

“100 points!“ Cameron shouts back.

“I haven't.. Can you.. Can you please stop running away from me? I haven't talked to her, if that's the problem. I just said whatever came to mind.“ Noel explains, bumping into his boyfriend as he stops walking.

“That isn't the problem, Noel. If you don't wanna tell them that we are in a relationship right now, that’s okay. But making them believe that you are still together with Layla, is not!“ Cameron sounds hurt.

“What should I have told them? That I broke up with her, shortly after her father's death? Bad enough that I feel like the biggest asshole, my friends don't have to think that of me too!" Noel tries to defend himself.

“Is that the problem, or is it that you won't tell them that you're gay? Am I your little mistress, like Ian was Mickey's at first? Are we really going to rerun their story? Because I don't want that much drama in my life!“

Cameron's words hit him, his heart stops beating for a second. Is he going to break up with him? Is Noel too much drama for him?

“You could have told them, that you aren't together anymore. I am not asking you to tell them that it's because of us. But playing fucking happy couple with Layla to them, hurt me. You made me believe that you're ashamed of me!“

Noel's feels like someone has punched him in the stomach. He doesn't want Cameron to feel this way, when it's the exact opposite.

He's proud to be called Cameron's boyfriend, and he never was that happy in his life before. He thought he was, but he’s happier now. Doesn't Cameron recognize this? Doesn't he see how happy he makes him? Noel really thought they show how much they mean to each other within all their tenderness. Apparently he wasn‘t showing him clearly enough. But Noel needs him to know. He needs him to know, that everytime Cameron is around his stomach makes this little fluttery thing Noel can't get enough of. And that when he's not around he feels incomplete, like missing a piece of his own heart he knows Cameron owns. He needs him to know that he can't stop thinking about living together, that his heart beats ten times faster at the thought of seeing Cameron every day and falling asleep together every night. He needs him to know, that Noel needs him, like he needs the air to breath. That he gets goosebumps all over his body, when Cameron touches him. He needs him to know, that he has never enjoyed life as much as he has the last couple of weeks. That their sex drives him insane, and that his kisses alone makes his knees go weak. Fuck, he needs him to know, that...

“I love you!“ Noel blurts out, before he can stop the words from escaping his mouth.

Cameron looks weirdly shocked, and Noel swallows hard. Maybe he shouldn't have said that. It's how he feels, how he has felt since the first day they met at the table read again, but what if it's too soon, too much, what if Cameron isn't ready for that? What if he doesn't feel the same way? Noel's not sure he could handle that.

Noel opens his mouth to explain all the thoughts he had in his mind before those three words slipped out of it, but he doesn't get the chance. Cameron steps forward and presses his lips against Noel's, hand cradling the side of his face, and every muscle in Noel's body unwinds. He can hear a soft gasp of surprise from someone standing nearby, but he doesn't care right now. He needs Cameron to know how much he means to him, and if it means kissing him in public, then Noel is willing to do this.

Cameron puts his hands on his waist to hold him closer and deepen the kiss and it takes everything Noel has not to let out a soft moan. As Noel presses in a little closer, he can feel Cameron actually getting hard and shit, it takes everything to stay cool. He pulls away to look Cameron in his eyes, finding the familiar soft and caring expression again, letting him know that he is loved too.

"We need to get home right now." Cameron whispers, rubbing his thumb over Noel's cheeks.

"No, you need to finish your dinner first. Believe me, you'll need the energy later.“ Noel smirks cheekily, laying his hands on Cameron's shoulders to guide him back to the restaurant.

As awesome as it sounds to get back to the hotel right now, Noel has something different in mind. Saying those three words was necessary and right. It wouldn’t have lasted any longer until they had come out of his lips. But there's something else Noel wants to give Cameron, making him realize how much he means to him.

They enter the restaurant again, Cameron behind Noel, seeing their friends sitting in the same positions as they were before, already finished with eating. They look at them but keep their conversations going and just smile as they keep moving closer. Cameron's and Noel's food is still on the table, probably cold now.

Just moments before they are back on their seat, Noel turns around, smiling at Cameron and taking a deep breath. He wants this. He wants him.

He grabs Cameron's hand, interlacing their fingers and steps to the table, feeling Cameron's confused look in his neck. All eyes are on them, but their friends look like they think they’re joking with them, not taking it for real.

“Noel, don't. You don't have to -“ Cameron whispers, but is cut off by Emmy, making a joke. “So you found our baby boy and brought him back, huh?“ Emmy cocks her head in the direction of their interwined hands.

“Yeah... No! I mean.. _yeah_! But that's not the reason why I'm holding his hand now!“ Noel starts, getting more nervous with every passing second. He feels his hands getting wet and hopes Cameron won't mind.

“No? So? Why are you lovebirds holding hands then?“ Emma now asks, joining the conversation.

Not everybody stops talking, but their eyes are on them anyway. Noel fights a lump in his throat. Shit, just a minute ago he felt fearless, and now he can barely stand on both feet, getting weak from panic. He sees Ruby and Jeremy smiling lightly, knowing what Noel wants to say. He opens his mouth, trying to find the right words to answer that question, when Cameron beats him to the punch.

“I love him!“

Silence.

He loves him. Fuck.

Noel feels his fears subsiding, looking to Cameron, who has a big smile on his face, proud to tell them about it. Their gazes lock and Noel feels relieved, to finally be able to show Cameron how much he cares.

“I mean, we're.. uhm..“ Cameron stutters, still looking in Noel's eyes, which causes the fluttery feeling in Noel's stomach again.

“Together!“ Noel completes Cameron's sentence, holding their interlaced fingers high, so that everybody can see it.

Noel can't say if the silence stays for seconds or hours, but he is happy, when he hears Jeremy speaking up. “Finally!“ he says, drawing everybody’s attention.

“W..What? This is not a joke and you knew that?“ Emmy asks, looking completely stunned, just like everybody else.

“You didn't?“ Jeremy questions teasingly.

“It's not a joke!“ Cameron confirms.

“Oh my fucking god, so Gallavich is real?“ Emma shouts, sounding surprised and excited all at once.

“Not Gallavich, but us!“ Noel says, gesturing between Cameron and him.

Fuck, this is true! Cameron loves him..

Noel feels himself blushing, as Cameron gives him a soft smile and it takes Noel a lot, not to kiss him right now. His colleagues should first come to terms with the fact that they are together now, kissing infront of them can wait.

“Fuck!“ Shanola starts “I mean, I'm surprised, but at the same time not, you know?" she says. Cameron lets out a relieved chuckle and Noel feels his shoulders relaxing a little bit.

“Okay so now can you please sit down, I think we've got a lot of questions to ask you two douchebags!“ Emma says.

Both take their seats as the questions stream in and with every answered question Noel feels happier.

 

 

“Holy shit, we came out!“ Cameron says sounding as if he can't believe his own words, as they enter Noel's hotel room.

“Fuck yeah, we did! And it went surprisingly good!“ Noel comments.

Cameron practically ambushes Noel from behind, locking his arms around him. He nuzzles his nose against Noel's hair, just above his ear. It feels really good, and Noel even closes his eyes for the briefest second.

“Thank you!“ he whispers into Noel's ears. And fuck, there's that familiar, warm fuzzy feeling, spreading slowly through Noel's very bones and saturating his skin, only intensifying as his lover lowers his arms to wrap around his waist and press up closer against his back.

"Nothing to thank me for!" Noel says almost in a whisper.

Cameron hums as he kisses Noel's neck softly, inhaling just above his hairline and Noel closes his eyes again, a little longer this time. Hands finding their way to Cameron's and covering them, crossed over his stomach.

Wow, this feeling really is the closest he's ever been to someone. Why hadn't he noticed his attraction to Cameron earlier? He missed a lot of great moments, and he‘s therefore now going to savor every little detail even more so, which is about his boyfriend.

They just stay like this for a minute or more, not speaking, just being close and Noel can only pay attention on how Cameron smells, how his body feels, the soft sound of his breathing against his neck. It's everything.

When Cameron loosens his grip around Noel's waist, gripping his hips instead and slowly turning him around, Noel hitches a breath. He complies and lets the younger man move them both to Noel's bed. Noel grabs onto Cameron’s hip with one hand, the other runs up his clothed chest until he reaches his neck, never once looking away. He captures Cameron's lips with his mouth and they begin slowly making out and running their hands all over one another’s bodies, pressing and groping over chests, backs, cocks, and asses through the fabric of their clothes for a couple minutes, before they start removing the obstructing garments.

After the t-shirts and jeans are gone, both just stand for a short moment in silence, only their boxers left on their bodies.

God, he is so damn beautiful!

Noel lets one of his hands wander over Cameron's chest and abs, trying to lose himself in the wonderful feeling of touching the readhead.

Cameron drops to his knees, taking Noel's boxers with him in one move. He pulls Noel’s semi-erect dick out and begins nosing around it, breathing hotly around the base as he starts stroking it to full hardness. He looks up into Noel’s eyes and curls his tongue out, licking at the tip and punching a moan out of Noel.

Shit, this doesn't only look hot as fuck, it's also like a goddamm new experience, everytime Cameron puts him in the mouth.

They hold eye contact at first, Cameron working his way slowly up and down as he jerks him off. The further down he gets, the more he starts to speed up, both closing their eyes as it becomes more heated.

Noel threads his fingers of one hand into Cameron's hair, gently tugging at it and breathing heavily, as the sounds of Cameron’s wet movements, nasal breathing, and little muffled hums around his cock, make his head swim.

“Fuck Cam, this feels so good!“ Noel pants, while Cameron gropes his ass cheeks, squeezing them firmly, and pushing them towards him in time with that same cadence, until Noel is fucking his mouth and starts moaning more and more.

Cameron can't stop the smile as he bobs his head. Noel can tell, that this is because of the noises he emits. He knows he can make Cameron go crazy, just by grunting deeply and groaning and sometimes, when Cameron hits the right spot he actually whimpers. Knowing that with his moans and gasps he can drive Cameron insane, drives Noel insane again. Shit, Cameron looks like he is close to coming in his pants from these noises, which makes Noel’s cock ache with arousal.

Noel sets his hand on the back of Cameron‘s head, but holds it there loosely, letting it rise and fall as the younger boy moves.

Fuck, he could get lost in this sight, watching his dick disappear into Cameron's mouth again and again. He wishes he could record this to watch over and over.

As Noel’s noises get louder and higher and his breath starts to tremble, Cameron pulls off nearly all the way, until just the head of Noel's dick is in his mouth. He swirles his tongue around the head, and it makes Noel's leg shake. The redhead dips his tongue into the slit, licking up the spit and precum that has gathered there and then pulls off, leaving Noel a trembling mess.

"Come here.“ Noel whispers, cupping Cameron’s face with both hands and pulling him up to catch his lips in a harsh and passionate kiss. As their tongues seem to melt together, Cameron strips his boxers off and lays Noel’s body down, hovering above him, never letting go of his lips.

Noel can’t tell if he has ever enjoyed carrying so much weight that much. But feeling Cameron’s skin on his skin, the sweat they produce within their moving bodies, is something he is craving for every day, every minute, fuck, he even wants it in every second.

Noel breaks the kiss to flip them over, straddling Cameron and putting his hand around his lovers rock hard cock, working it slowly while maintaining perfect eye contact. Seeing and hearing Cameron moan like this is almost too much for him to take. But it eggs him on - damn it eggs him on so fucking much and he wants more.

He grabs the lube, squirting a little onto his fingers. He wants to put on a little show for Cameron, wanting him to feel as good as Cameron makes him feel everytime he is around Noel. He leans forward, resting his forehead against Cameron's, as he adds the first finger to prepare himself. He let's out a moan, knowing what it would do to his boyfriend. The reaction comes immediately.

“Oh fuck, Noel!“ Cameron breathes out, cocking his head so as not to miss a single bit of what Noel is giving him. Noel rocks back, fucking his index finger, while he still works his other hand around Cameron's length. "Oh shit," Cameron mutters again, reaching down to take Noel's cock in his hand, stroking slowly and firmly in such a way, it's almost torture to Noel.

“You're so fucking hot!“ Cameron says, breathlessly.

Noel adds a second finger, followed by a third, arching his back, as he opens himself up for Cameron, emitting hitched breaths and sighs, driving Cameron insane, his hand still stroking Cameron's cock.

“Fuck Noel, don't do this to me.“ Cameron whispers.

“What?“ Noel doesn't stop, still rocking and stroking, pressing his forehead against Cameron's again.

“Making me mad even though I wanna last long enough to fuck you. God I wanna fuck you so bad!“ Cameron breathes out, sounding completely wrecked.

Oh god, Noel stops abruptly, hearing Cameron say this, pulls him nearly over the edge. “I need you.“ Noel whispers, looking into those fucking beautiful puppy eyes, not moving an inch.

Cameron grabs the back of his neck, pulling him down in a heated and harsh kiss, shortly before he flips them over, Noel laying on his back again.

“Fuck I need you to fill me with your cock, please!“ Noel pleads desperately and Cameron doesn't need to be told twice, as he rolls on a condom, adding some lube and lines up with Noel's hole.

Cameron leans down, crashing his mouth onto Noel's lips again, as he pushes in slowly, only breaking their kiss to catch their breaths.

Shit, Noel knows he can never have enough of this feeling, having Cameron inside of him. He lets his head fall back, as the redhead starts to thrust deep inside of him, but looks right back, after adjusting to the feeling.

He loves this position - blue eyes staring into green. Seeing Cameron's face during their sex, is something so intimate. Seeing his face falling into pieces with every thrust, but also recognizing the awareness, with which Cameron looks at him, searching for any sign of if he‘s hurting him. Noel doesn't know when was the last time he felt so loved.

Noel lets the other man bring one of his legs up to his shoulder so he can get even deeper, if possible. Fuck, he wants this. He wants to have him as deep as possible inside, never wants to let him go.

Cameron loves him.

The words echo in his mind, making him smile to the boy above him, who answers with a sloppy kiss, changing his angle to hit Noel's sweet spot.

“Oh shit, oh fuck, right there, right there!“ Noel moans out, arching his back and closing his eyes as he does what he can to move in sync with Cameron.

This is so special, it makes him feel so real. His right thigh doesn't stop trembling, and his cock is so hard it hurts. He can feel it dribbling precum against his stomach.

“Noel, you feel so good, so good for me!“ Cameron breathes out.

By now Cameron is glistening with sweat in the most beautiful way and Noel can't look away. Every thrust into him is like a work of art. Between that show and the noises he is making, Noel knows he'll fall apart any moment now. This intimacy scares him, but the pleasure of the moment helps melt it away.

Cameron gaspes and immediately sets a brisker pace, grabbing a hold of Noel's sinewy thighs and pumping in deeper and harder. Noel's eyes close again as he moans “ _Cam_. I need you. Please. Harder. _Please_! I need you!“

Cameron groans and goes even faster. “Oh fuck. Come for me Noel!“ he breathes out.

Noel feels like he might spontaneously combust. He thinks about reaching for his cock, or rotating his hips, but he forces himself to just lie back and let Cameron do all the work, enjoying and savoring every thrust. It feels sort of liberating and amazing, although his damn hard cock hurts, longing to finally get some release. But Noel knows the orgasm is going to be much more intense if he doesn't touch himself or let Cameron touch him.

Cameron stops thrusting, instead he stays deep inside of Noel, never leting the contact break between Noel's prostate and his cock, as he starts circling his hips, brushing over and over Noel's spot.

"Fuck, Cam...." Noel yells out, letting his head fall forward, lips crashing together as spurts of cum splatter across his abs, and Cameron’s thighs. His orgasm hits him so hard, he could swear he sees stars. Noel can feel himself contracting around Cameron's dick, while the younger boy helps him through his orgasm, his own climax approaching as soon as he sees Noel's wrecked face.

“Oh god!“ Cameron moans, as he splatters his cum into his lover, thrusting in and out, riding out their orgasms in the same moment. Noel is still clenching around Cameron, as he feels the warmth of the load being dropped in the condom inside of him. It's fucking hot.

Cameron collapses on top of him, nuzzling his head in Noel's neck, letting minutes pass before either one of them moves, both still trying to catch their breaths.

Noel is terribly tempted to fall asleep. As he watches Cameron drift off, he smiles, combing through that red, messed-up hair with his fingers, focusing on a small freckle right above Cameron’s jaw. It’s like the most beautiful freckle Noel has ever seen.

God, since when is he so cheesy? This boy really does a lot to him.

"I love you!“ Noel hears Cameron whispering in his ears and it really sends a shivering wave through his whole body.

He loves him.

This beautiful, gorgeous, awesome man loves him. Can a man be happier? His heart could explode right now, thinking about how happy he is and how far they’ve come in this short time.

"Fuck I love you too.“ he replies, fondling his hair. Cameron sighs. While Noel could just stare for hours at Cameron lying naked on top of him, feeling him still deep inside him, he knows they could both use some cleaning up.

"Hey," he says softly, nudging his boyfriend. "Don't fall asleep on me, it’s getting sticky between us."

Cameron stirs, emiting a small petulant groan. "Don’t wanna move!“

Noel smiles. "Come on, a shower might be in order!“ he says and Cameron hums.

It's only after another few seconds and a deep inhale, that the younger boy moves. He pulls out, letting out a grumpy moan and shifts, laying beside Noel on his back.

Noel props on his elbows, looking Cameron in the eyes, giving him a soft smile. "Hey, come on tough guy, join me in the shower. You’ll not regret it!“ He blinks at him and his heart speeds up, as he sees what his words does to the younger one. Cameron jumps up and heads to the bathroom.

"You coming? You have to honor a pledge!“ the redhead smirks, cocky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the development :)
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos and/or comments!
> 
> XXX


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a new chapter for you.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it <3
> 
> As always - a big thanks to LuckyShaz *mwah*

“Welcome to my home. I mean _our_ home!“ Cameron smiles as he opens the door to his apartment, dropping Noel's boxes on the floor.

He really hopes Noel will like it. During the last two weeks, when Noel was back in his old home to pack his stuff and arrange his affairs, Cameron tried his best to whip his apartment into shape. He doesn’t know what Noel likes, how the living space in which he feels comfortable should look like. Cameron has never visited him at home and they've only shared their hotel room, which isn't very significant. So he did a lot of research on Pinterest, looking for some ideas to turn _his_  apartment into _their_  apartment.

Noel steps in, taking a look around the room. “Looks nice!“ he says, peering happily into Cameron's eyes, which are scanning every inch of his face, looking for some indication of if he's lying. He can't find anything, Noel seems to be happy.

“Okay, so let me show you the rooms.“ Cameron says proudly, hands fumbling in his pockets. He can't hide his nervousness to have Noel here with him (finally) – it‘s too special.

Noel steps closer, digging his fingers in Cameron's waistband and looking up to meet his eyes.

God he is so damn beautiful.

“What if you show me the bedroom first and let me know what I've missed for two goddamn long weeks, huh?“ Noel asks cocky, making heat creep up Cameron's cheeks.

He cups Noel's face with both hands, kissing him sweet and soft, like he wanted to do the second he saw him jumping out of the moving van. It just wasn't possible, because they were on an open street, everyone could have seen them. And even though Cameron wouldn't have a problem with that, he knows that Noel may feel uncomfortable. Besides, there are always some paparazzis waiting for the perfect shot. And before they tell the whole world that they are together, they should probably tell their families first.

Cameron had been surprised in the most positive way when Noel had called him to say that he‘d told Layla about them. Even though it had broken Cameron‘s heart to hear Noel crying due to how much he‘s hurt Layla, he had felt his heart racing. Because their relationship seems important enough for Noel to tell her about it. To tell her about _them._

But as soon as his heart had sped up, it had dropped again, knowing that he couldn't be there for Noel to soothe and touch him. Those weeks were hard, he‘d missed him a lot and couldn't stop thinking about him.

Most of the time it ended in him jerking off, picturing Noel laying naked beneath or above him, kissing and touching his perfect body. He‘d needed him so badly. Frustrated about not being able to touch and feel him and show him how much he needed their physical contact. He craves for it, almost 24 hours a day. Jerking off to only the imagination of Noel can never be enough.

Everytime Noel is away he feels incomplete, like he can't feel a huge part of himself. But it made him realize even more (although he didn't think that it was even possible) that this is real. _They_  are real and so is their love for each other. Cameron is sure that this is how it's supposed to be and it makes him even stronger to not be afraid of telling everybody. As long as he has Noel by his side, he isn't afraid of anything, only of loosing him.

But he is here, now, and Cameron is fucking happy about that, fucking excited to spend everyday with the love of his life.

He's here. Right now. He is here with him.

Their kisses grow more passionate and bodies grow more restless, both touching and fumbling all over their bodies, as if they are trying to regain lost time. He needs Noel, skin to skin, everywhere. _Now_.

Within a few moments both are completely naked, never letting go of each other‘s lips for even a second.

When Cameron guides him to _their_  bed and lays him on _their_ mattress, he knows home will always be a person for him. A person in Chicago, a person in L.A., a person on screen, a person off screen, but always that same person. The only one, who now lays on top of him, naked, with thick red lips and fluttering blue shining eyes. He has the most beautiful face Cameron has ever seen.

He is home. A long as he is with Cameron, he's at home.

As his lips brushes Noel's ear, making the other one tremble, it sends a shiver up his spine and he allows himself to just enjoy the moment for a second.

He flips them over, knowing that Noel loves it when he takes control. A small moan escapes Noel's lips as Cameron nips his way down his throat, working his lips across the chest to his nipples. He wants to take his time, savor everything Noel has to give, but isn't sure he can wait much longer. Because the way Noel arches his back to press himself closer to Cameron, makes his dick twitch in pain.

Thank god Noel is hard too, so hard that a moan escapes Cameron at the friction, rubbing both of their hard ons together in slow movements. Cameron glances up at those blue eyes, as he catches pure love in them.

He wants this man so badly, he needs him to feel the love Cameron is willing to give him, and it's nothing less than his whole fucking heart. He wraps his hand around Noel's cock, to stroke him slowly, earning the sweetest noise out of Noel's lips.

As he stops stroking, to take the prepared lube from the drawer, Noel hisses through gritted teeth. “Don't you dare break any body contact now!“ Noel shoots a playful glare towards Cameron.

“Oh, are we getting impatient? How should I get the lube then?“ Cameron challenges.

“Okay smart-arse, can you shut the fuck up and get in me please?“ Noel returns, his body vibrating in a way that shows Cameron how much he is craving for his touches. And fuck if he doesn't want it just as much as his lover does.

“I need to feel you, like _really_  feel you.“ Noel says huskily and Cameron knows exactly what he means. Both made a HIV test in the last week and got their negative results. Now there's no need for a condom, both can feel each other for real now.

To know that there will be nothing between his cock and Noel's hole makes Cameron's skin charge with electricity. He kisses his way up Noel's torso, while sliding a hand up his thigh to massage his perfect ass.

“Fuck...yeah," Noel says breathlessly, moving one of his hands down to wrap it slowly around that glorious cock he missed so much the last two weeks.

Cameron works his hips against Noel's hand for a few moments, the intensity of the situation making him more sensitive than ever. He pulls back to kneel in front of his boyfriend, squeezing some lube onto his fingers as he presses tender kisses up Noel's thighs.

He slowly pushes a finger inside of Noel, making him roll back his head and bite his lower lip, trying to stop the moan from escaping his lips. Cameron slides the finger in and out, until he adds the second and third one. Scissoring his fingers wide he stretches him out and begins to circle the inner side of his hole. On his third time around he starts kissing up his cock. Whimpers escape Noel's lips, as he runs his fingers through Cameron's soft red locks.

Cameron pulls back for a moment, taking in the sight before him then he takes Noel's cock into his mouth. He takes in as much as he can, while he sucks him gently.

"Oh  _fuck_ ," Noel shifts his hips a bit trying to get more friction, a moan escaping his lips. Cameron is willing to give him more, needing as much of him in his mouth as humanly possible in this moment. His tongue has missed the weight of Noel's cock too much during his absence. Fuck, his whole body and soul have missed this adorable man during his absence. _His_  adorable man.

As he begins to swirl his tongue around the head, stopping every so often to lick down the shaft only to lap at the slit and swirl at the head once again, he feels Noel at the verge of falling apart beneath him. “Oh shit, oh fuck. Stop and get inside me!“ Noel furrows his brows as he tries hard to stave off the inevitable.

Cameron does as he is told, kissing his way back up to find Noel's lips for a deep kiss, while his hand makes his dick slick with lube. He settles between Noel's legs, pumping his own length a few times before lining it up to Noel's hole.

As the tip of his dick gets in touch with Noel's entrance, the older man lets out a heavy sigh, reaching for Cameron's ass and pulling him closer to him impatiently. When he begins to slowly push inside, it's too much for Cameron to take. His head drops, his mouth gapes open. He rests his chin on Noel's shoulder so they can hear each others sharp breaths.

Fuck. He would have never thought that there's something better than being inside of Noel, but there definitely is - It's being inside of Noel without a condom. Shit, as he feels the hot, tight and wet flesh around him, he feels the heat rising in his gut and knows he is ready to come without making any thrusts. His dick starts pulsing, as he tries to focus on Noel's hands in his neck, making slow circles with his fingers, bringing him back to earth. He bottoms out, trying to hold himself from coming, waiting until the orgasm ebbs away a little.

Oh god, this man! Nobody can ever do to Cameron what Noel can only by breathing and living next to him.

Both take their time to feel each other without any movement. And for god's sake, if it's not the best thing on earth. Feeling Noel around and underneath him is more he could ever want. His hot skin on his skin, his hot breath in his ears, his sweat on his stomach, fuck this man drives him insane.

“Fuck, I need to come so badly!“ Cameron admits.

“Jesus Monaghan, give me a minute, will you?“ Noel chuckles, before telling him that he's okay and Cameron can start to moving.

Cameron pulls together all the energy left in his body, easing his way deep into Noel and back out. The bedroom is filled with a symphony of moans, groans and gasps.

“Holy shit Noel, I won't last long. You feel so good, so incredible. _Fuck_!“ Cameron gasps, looking into Noel's deep blue eyes, trying to concentrate.

He's here, with him. In  _their_ home.

This thoughts don't help him last, they only egg him on even more. Cameron is a trembling and moaning mess above his lover, leaning down to capture the thick red lips with his. God he tastes so good.

Knowing that this is not going to take long, Cameron shifts a little bit to hit Noel's sweet spot that drives him crazy.

“Oh my god, _Cam_! Yeah.“ Noel sighs, leaning his head back, writhing from pleasure as he just lets himself be work over for a few moments, letting Cameron do whatever he wants. Noel melts under each of Cameron's touches, and to see him fall apart with every thrust so slightly, makes Cameron feel butterflies in his stomach.

Cameron hooks his arm behind Noel's shoulder and moves his hand to the back of his head. He could stare into those eyes forever, ghosting over his face, scanning every convulsion with such awareness. This moment has such intimacy within, thrusting inside of Noel and watching him closely pulling him to the edge.

This is pure ecstasy. Noel is pure ecstasy.

Their lips meet once more as Noel plunges his tongue into his mouth. He braces his hands against Cameron's shoulder blades and flips them over, moving to sit up and work Cameron deeper inside.

“Oh shit, Noel...“ Cameron moans, head falling back into the pillow, arching his back, to meet Noel's sweet rhythm. His hands find their way to Noel's hips, eyes and mouth gaping at the sight before him. If his dick isn't feeling like it‘s on fire, he wouldn't have wanted it to ever end. He stares at Noel's glorious body as he feels himself getting closer to the edge. (As if he had been far from it.)

Cameron lets Noel ride him a little more, before he can't take it anymore. He sits up, hooking his arm around his lovers waist before flipping them back over and slamming into him at a wild pace.

“Jesus Christ, Cam!“ Noel says breathlessly, grabbing fists full of sheets, his breathing fast and shallow now as Cameron pounds into him, hitting his prostate over and over again.

Cameron tries to get lost in the moment, because he knows he is going to come. He wants to drown in their movements, their sweat, their grunts. This is so much more than sex. This is a whole fucking new experience, and it‘s still getting better, everytime they do it. Everything they can't say to each other is shown in this act. With every thrust Cameron does, he says 'I love you!'.

Cameron leverages himself to wrap one hand around the other mans cock, pumping it in time with the powerful thrustings of his hips, while his other hand shoots to link their fingers tightly.

“Oh yeah Cameron, I'm gonna -“ Noel doesn't even finish his words as his orgasm hits him hard, in the exact same time as Cameron reaches his climax, cries of pleasure escaping his lips. Both moving eratically as the waves just keep on coming, not letting them coming down from their high. Noel shoots his load into Cameron's hand, as the young boy fills him up.

Minutes pass by, as they try to catch their breathes, Cameron resting his forehead against the side of Noel's.

Noel is the first one to speak up again. “You wanna stay in there like forever or what?“ he jokes.

“Yeah, I would if I could.“ Cameron smiles.

“Yeah as great as that sounds, your dick is getting limp inside of me and my ass is kind of sore and closing. I don't wanna call 911, to help your clinging ass out of mine!“ Noel chukles.

“Jesus Noel! Didn't know you could be that romantic!“ Cameron teases and pulls out, rolling on his back to get a tissue to clean his hands and Noel’s hole, as his cum slips out of his lover. Fuck, that looks hot and Cameron can’t wait so see it everytime from now on. Noel laughs and settles himself to Cameron's side.

“I've missed you.“ the black haired boy mumbles into the crook of his neck.

“Yeah, I've missed you too. Welcome home!“ Cameron says, giving him a peck on his lips.

Damn, Noel's bright smile gets even brighter and Cameron's day gets better and better.

“Come on tough guy, let me show you our shower!“ he speaks, taking Noel's hand and dragging him out of the bed.

 

 

They sit at the table, grinning at each other like fucking teenagers in love, eating the lunch Cameron cooked for them. He knew Noel likes steak, so Cameron did his best to prepare him this dish. He is not an experienced cook, he often goes out to meet friends and has lunch or dinner with them. But he wanted Noel's first day in L.A. to be special. In addition, he has already thought that they won‘t be able to leave the apartment until the evening.

“So, uhm.. Shanola lives here. I told her that I was moving in with you and she asked if we wanna go out tonight?“ Noel asks, chewing and swallowing down his bite.

“Yeah sure, but uhm... my mum is coming to meet me for dinner at Rosie‘s. So I think I won't make it. But you can go.“ Cameron says, cutting down a piece of the meat.

“Oh. Your mum, huh? Does she... does she know?“ Noel's voice suddenly turns serious.

Cameron looks from Noel's eyes to his plate, shaking his head slowly. “No. I haven't seen her for a while and didn't want to tell her on the phone. I think I'm going to tell her tonight. I thought that asking you to come with me may be too much, but if you want you can -“ Cameron is interrupted by Noel

“No. I mean, I would like to meet your mum, but it may be too much for her to handle.“

Cameron doesn't know if it's really the well-being of his mother, which bothers Noel, but that's okay. One step after another.

“Have you told your parents?“ Cameron asks curiously, eyes still on the steak infront of him.

“No I haven't. It was hard enough for me to tell Layla about us. I‘ve never wanted to hurt her. I don't want to disappoint more people I love.“ Noel says.

“Disappoint, huh?“ Cameron's brows shoot up as his heart begins to ache. Is he such a disappointment for Noel, or why would his parents be disappointed?

Noel grabs his hand and interlaces their fingers. “No I didn't mean it like that. You are no disappointment. But.. you know it's complicated!“ Noel tries to explain.

“You promised to tell me about your fears, Noel.“ Cameron says, squeezing Noel's hand.

Cameron sees Noel struggling for words, a little scared of what's coming out next. “We were engaged, you know, Layla and me. And we wanted to have kids. I wasn’t far from becoming a dad. This has always been a dream of mine – to have my own children.“ Noel explains, looking at the table sadly.

"You know that there are other possible ways to have children, right?“ Cameron asks, not thinking about what this would mean for him.

"Yeah I know, but is it the same though? Adopting a child means that his genes have nothing in common with yours.“ Noel says.

"But I don’t think that you’d love them less. Besides there’s also the possibility of a surrogate mother.“ Cameron remarks, as if he had thought about the different options too.

Noel’s eyes are suddenly glued to his, and Cameron can see a smile forming at the corner of his mouth. "Fuck! I didn‘t want to attack you with this subject. It’s definitely too early for us to talk about such an important topic. But thank you for being so open to it!“

"Hey – I would do everything for you, to make you happy, okay? It’s definitely too early to have kids, but it’s not too early to talk about it. Especially when it calms you down. And by the way – I can imagine something worse than having a little you around!“.

Cameron smiles. He has never thought about it before, but now that Noel has raised the subject, he recognizes that he likes the image of having a family with Noel. Nevertheless there’s still a question on his mind. "But what has this got to do with your parents?“

"It’s because they always wanted to be grandparents. And it really wasn’t that far from happening. It’s hard to tell them now that everything is different. They are looking forward to our wedding and - “

Noel is cut off by a surprised looking Cameron. “They _are_  looking forward to it? They still believe you are together?“ Cameron can't hide the hurt in his voice.

Noel doesn’t answer, he just stares into Cameron’s shocked eyes. The silence, however, is enough to tell Cameron that he’s right. He pulls his hand back from their touch and gets up. He knows it's childish, but to hear that Noel's parents still believe that he is getting married to Layla hurts.

"Cam – “ Noel’s voice sounds pleading.

"No it’s okay. If you wanna stay engaged to Layla to the outside world, because you are ashamed of me or something, do it! I... I need fresh air. I’ll just go for a walk before I meet my mother. The keys are on the chest of drawers at the entrance. Give Shanola my regards.“ Cameron says disappoited, turning around to leave the apartment.

"No, hey! Cam, don’t walk away. It’s our first day together, come on. Let’s talk about it!“, Noel tries to save the situation. But Cameron is hurt and not in the mood to talk about it any longer.

"I think it’s all said for now. I mean it's been more than over a month now since you broke up with her and cancelled the wedding. And your parents still believe you are together. Sorry, but I need some time. Alone.“ Cameron replies enraged.

He thought he would have more time with Noel today, but now he can't stand his presence. As much as he likes to take things slow, it is still painful to sometimes have the feeling Noel doesn’t want to stand by him infront of certain people. He hates this feeling, and he hates that he can’t deal with this better. Noel has proved to him so often that he is serious about it, he even came out infront of their friends. But yet there is this arch, this rise in his chest that makes him understand that he should go before he says or does something he is going to regret later.

“I‘ll tell them, okay? I promise!“ Noel sounds determined and Cameron believes him, he really does. But it doesn‘t distract from the fact that he hasn‘t done it so far and is only taking it into account because Cameron wants it from him.

“I know. But give me a moment to make it clear to myself.“ Cameron says,then turns around and heads outside the door, hearing Noel scream after him:

“Okay then leave. Leave like you always do! I do my best to prove to you that I'm in this. But it's never enough!“

The door is slammed shut while Cameron tries to focus on his breathings, a tear falling down his cheek. Noel is right and he wants to go back inside and beg for forgiveness, because if he doesn't stop pushing him, he knows that Noel is going to end things between them. Fuck, if someone would push him like that, he would break up with them too. He really should apologize, but he's too upset to talk to him in peace. And Noel probably is too. He can barely think straight, how would he be able to find the right words? If he'd goes back in, they will probably start to fight even more, just because Cameron is unable to explain his reaction to Noel. Maybe the walk will calm him down and help him find the right words and a big fucking excuse.

He just has to hope that Noel will be there after it all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled a little with this chapter, so tell me what you think about it. 
> 
> Comments and/or kudos are always appreciated :)
> 
> XXX


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the lovely comments on the last chapter - you're great!!!!
> 
> Here we go - chapter 12, yay! With the help of the brilliant LuckyShaz :)
> 
> THIS time it's a shorter one ;-)
> 
> Enjoy <3

(NOEL'S POV)

How does this happen repeatedly? Cameron walking away, leaving him behind, broken. He only wants to make everything right, and yet he always seems to botch it up. He loves Cameron, that’s for sure, and his ultimate goal is to make him happy in the same way Cameron enriches Noel's life.

He still isn't sure how this happend. At one moment they are head over heels happy, having incredible good sex and kissing each other, and the next minute Cameron is storming out pissed.

Noel knows that he is hurt and a part of him can understand that, but another part is also mad. Can't Cameron understand the difficulty of the situation? Hasn't he done enough to show him how much he cares? To suddenly be gay isn't something you just decide. It takes more time than one or two months to tell all your friends and relatives about it, and to accept yourself as gay. Cameron should know that, he's in the same position as Noel.

Why is Cameron able to cope so much better with this situation than he is? Perhaps it doesn’t matter to him what others think about it – about them. Or he doesn‘t attach as much importance to it as Noel does.

Shit, this thoughts bring back his prior fears that Cameron might just be making some new experiences. But then, would he have asked Noel to move in with him? Probably not. Or would he? Moving isn’t a big thing for an actor, it happens frequently since some projects require a move for a short or even a long time.

Noel puts their plates in the sink, sad about how the lunch went. He would have wanted his first day with Cameron in their now new shared home to be special, to enjoy it longer than they did. Fuck, why did this shitty conflict occur?

He wanders around, he hasn‘t really taken a look around the apartment yet. It‘s huge, there could easily live 4 or 5 people here, but that‘s just the luxury of their job. They can afford big apartments, houses, or even villas. Noel has never needed much, he doesn‘t feel like a star who needs a lot of materialistic stuff to be happy. Actually, he currently only needs something, or some _one_ …

There are two bedrooms, one intended for guests, two bathrooms, a kitchen, a living room, a workroom, a dressing room, a room with all the trophies, posters and pictures of Cameron‘s work, a room full of sports equipment and a storage room. Not to forget that every single one is huge. Furthermore, it‘s a penthouse with a very big roof-deck.

It‘s a really a nice apartment and very stylishly furnished. Noel takes a look at the awards and the signed posters of Cameron's films and series. Some from Shameless are also to be found. There are even posters on which only Cameron and him can be seen as Ian and Mickey. Things like "Gallavich is real" or "Gallavich for life!" are written on them. These are probably gifts from fans. Noel himself got some too, but had never them hung up. It’s a little strange to see photos of them as lovers, which were taken, when neither of them expected their sudden arising love story. Noel still can‘t believe how drastically his life has changed in those recent months.

He can‘t help smiling at how adorable Cameron was as a little boy. Freckles all over his babyface. It crosses his mind, that a baby with Cameron's genetic heritage wouldn‘t be so bad, but shakes his head to get rid of this thought. They have too much trouble to think about a baby.

Wow, Cameron has done a lot of films and series. And on the posters you can see, that he’s always had really good looking coworkers - women and men. He would like to know with whom of them he had something going on.

Wait, no. Fuck, he doesn’t wan't to know..

As an actor you usually have pretty colleagues. Noel knows, that being with one of the film business means, that you have to arrange yourself according to the situation. He‘s also very often surrounded by good-looking women, but hasn’t noticed hot men so far, since there is only one particular redhead who gets all his attention.

What if Cameron meets someone new at a set? Someone who is willing to give him all he needs from the beginning? Someone who is more open than Noel is. May it be a man or a woman. What if it’s never enough what Noel is able to give? Even though Cameron deserves the whole world and more.

Okay, now he's the one who needs some fresh air, before meeting Shanola for drinks. He needs to calm down, to distract his thoughts from running in circles, making him insane.

He leaves the room and hurries through the corridor to the entrance. As he passes by the dressing room, he catches a glimpse of several packed bags. He steps inside the room and looks inside them, seeing that they are crammed with parts of Cameron's garments. Fuck, is he going to leave for shooting an upcoming movie? He hasn't told him about it, but perhaps he hadn’t had the time to do it, before their fight came up.

What if he is weeks or months away for a shoot? Maybe Noel's worst fears will come true and Cameron will fall in love with someone else on the set. It has happened before, only then it was him..

Damn it, Noel knows that this won‘t happen to him, he would never fall in love with someone else, and least of all at work. He is certain about his feelings. For him, there is only one man. But can he claim the same from Cameron? He was so mad and sad when he left before, disappointed by Noel, that he has no balls to tell his parents he broke up with Layla. Noel is scared that he can‘t be enough for him.

Out of frustrated impulse, he kicks the filled bags, before finally heading towards the entrance. He takes his jacket and a hat then leaves the apartment.

 

 

 

His hat pulled deep in his face, as he wanders around, not knowing where he might end up. He just wants to avoid paparazzis. But it‘s not important where he is going. He has no aim and he doesn't need one. He just wants to get rid of the tension in his whole body and walking in an extremely fast way, it helps a little.

Fuck he is not in the mood for going out tonight. There's no way he would sit still and have fun with Shanola. It's better to shift this meeting.

He takes out his phone. No calls or text messages from him. Noel sighs, at least he hoped that his boyfriend (if he still is, what he really hopes) would call to calm him and tell him that everything is okay between them. But no luck for Noel. He goes through his contacts and calls Shanola. She answers quickly.

“Noel hey, is everything fine? I'm looking forward to meet you guys later!“ she sounds amused, while Noel is defenitely not. He stops and tries to hide his pain.

“Hey Shanola! I'm sorry, but we won't make it.“ he answers.

“Noel, what's wrong? You sound completely out of breath and not in a good way!“ she states.

“No, it's fine, it's just -“ Noel is cut by a twang from his friend.

“Come on, don't lie to me. Women have a sixth sense for when there’s something brewing.“ she says.

“Yeah, well. We had a dispute and Cameron left. Now I'm running through L.A., without knowing where I am, to stop myself from going crazy at home.“ he explains, his breath getting halfway stable again.

“Okay, stop. Get an uber, I will give you my address and you come here immediately, Without protest!“ she orders.  
Noel looks around, noticing a yellow car at the opposite street.

“Okay“, he breathes, heading across the street.

 

 

 

“Sweetface, what happened?“ she asks, after opening the door. “Come in, I'll get you a beer!“.

Noel enters her house. It looks really beautiful. Previously he thought Cameron's apartment was big, but it's nothing compared to this house. Though Shanola doesn‘t live here alone, but with her husband and her two sweet children.

“Where are Daren and the kids?“ he asks, joining Shanola at the table, where she sets down the alcohol.

“They are in the park! So we have enough time to work things out.“ she says, taking the seat opposite his.

Noel shrugs. “I don't know if it's possible to work this shit out.“

“Oh come on. You gay guys are always such drama queens. Even worse than women!“ she jokes, trying to get a smile out of her buddy. “Take a sip and then tell me what's wrong.“ she adds.

Noel does as he is told and empties half of the beer in a few swallows.

“I didn't tell my parents that I broke up with Layla.“ he mumbles, the bottle still on his lips. Somehow he feels ashamed of it, and might understand Cameron a bit more.

“Oh fuck. But you'll have to, because they are waiting for a wedding, which will never come!“ she speaks.

“Fuck I know that I have to. And I will. I‘m just waiting for the right moment.“ he tries to explain.

“Oh sweety, do you really believe that? Because I think it'll always be hard. But nevertheless it'll be worth it.“ Shanola encourages him.

Noel nods. He knows that she's right. Of course it will be worth it, because Cameron is worth it!

“So this is why Cam is pissed?“ she asks after a moment of silence.

“Yeah, I think he wants me to come out in front of everyone. Seems like this is all easy for him, but I'm fucking scared of the reactions from the people I love.“ Noel mutters and thinks about his brave boyfriend, admiring his strength and dauntlessness. What will Cameron think about him? Probably that he is a timid pussy. Fuck.

“He just wants everybody to know how fucking happy he is!“ Shanola asserts, her soft eyes calming him.

“Is he? Because this topic is always coming up, causing trouble!“ Noel says frustrated.

“I know how happy he is, because he told me! He said he wants to scream every day out of his fucking window, that he is in love with the incredible Noel Fisher. And these are his words, not mine.“ Shanola grins.

Fuck, Noel can feel his cheeks glowing. To hear Cameron talking like this about him infront of his friends, makes his heart speed up. He feels happy and proud and at the same time guilty as fuck. While Cameron extols him infront of the people he cares about, Noel keeps him a secret. This must have hurt him really bad.

“This is also something I want - to tell everyone that he's mine, and all the other boys and girls should keep their fingers from him.“ Noel states, with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

“Wow. Where is this jealousy coming from?“ Shanola sounds a little worried, making him notice that he sounded a little bit too possessive.

“It's just..“, he begins but fails at the loss of words.

“Noel, do you really believe that Cameron would cheat on you or something?“ Shanola's eyes are wide open, looking like she can't believe what Noel is saying.

“Not cheating... but what.. What if he falls in love with someone new, someone who is more open, at the set of his next film? Regardless of if it’s a man or woman? After all, it has happened once, and who knows how often in the past.“ God he sounds like a bitch. A desperate and lost bitch.

“Oh no.. If I were you, I wouldn't say this to Cameron. This would only cause another fight! You really believe this shit?“ Shanola asks, as if she can't believe her ears.

Noel feels bad, his fears will ruin everything. He has to face them. And maybe it‘s better to do it with Shanola, and not Cam. He nods slightly.

“Okay, now let me tell you something. Since we started shooting Shameless season 1, I've never seen Cameron happier. And according to his reports, he never was. Since you two started to explore your feelings for each other, he‘s blossomed out. He seems more awake, more active, more amusing, so full of life and energy. You can see in the glow of his eyes that he just feels nothing but pure love.“ she pauses for a moment, takes a deep breath and continues. “Yeah, he did fall in love on the set one time. But he fell in love with YOU. And as far as I can tell, his love for you won’t change so quickly either. Unless you keep him in secret and thus at bay, so you won’t be able to get hurt.“

Noel feels a tear rolling down his cheeks. She's right. She is so damn right.

“He is a funny, smart and a brilliant actor _and_ for fuck's sake he is hot as hell. Everyone in his immediate vicinity must fall in love with him. And he has the choice among all men and women. Why should he choose me? Someone who isn't as tough as he is. Someone who causes problems all the time, with all my fears and shit.“ Noel fights a lump in his throat.

“Because he already chose _you_! It's you. No one else but you for him. Accept that and throw your worries overboard. He decided in favor of you and believe me, he is so damn happy with his choice.“ Shanola's voice is so soft, it goes straight to his heart.

Another tear rolls down his cheek as he nods, feeling her warm hands cup his face.  
“Look at you. You're also funny, smart, a brilliant actor and how did you say it? - For fuck's sake you're hot as hell! You love each other with the same strength and intensity and sometimes this can make you be afraid of love. But don't be, honey. It's too beautiful to miss!“

Noel wasn‘t aware of the fact that he has such wise friends. First Jeremy, now Shanola. But both teach him the same thing, which is why they must be right.

“I just... I never was afraid of losing something, the way I am afraid of losing him. That fucking scares me. If I only think about it, I get sick.“ Noel whispers, his face leaning into her touch.

“I know, sweetheart. But believe me, your love is worth accepting this fear and living with it. The more time you spend with each other, the more you will find trust in you. You'll see how strong and good your love is, and Cameron as well. Believe me, watching from the outside, I can already see your love growing, everytime you’re around each other. You just both have to learn to handle this fear, which involves such a great love and passion." Shanola's words shake him like a lightning strike. It makes sense, oh god her words make so much sense!

“Fuck, you are right.“ he mumbles, more to himself than her.

She takes her hands off his face and claps triumphantly “I know, I always am, ask my husband!“ she jokes and presses a kiss to his cheek. “Are you ready to start with it right now?“ she asks, raising one eyebrow.

“Oh fuck, yes, So ready!“ Noel answers, with the sudden certainty that his love for Cameron is strong enough to endure everything that will be in their way. During the conversation with Shanola he made the decision that he himself wouldn‘t be the problem anymore!

“Then go and get your man!“ Shanola says, clapping her hands again with a big smile on her face.

He will. He definitely will.

 

 

 

(CAMERON'S POV)

Shit, he fucked it up. Always one step too much, pushing Noel, never giving him time to adjust to the situation. If he goes on like this, he will lose him for sure. If that hasn‘t already happened.

The walk didn‘t really help calm him down. On the contrary, it has only made him realize how stupid he was, which provoked his angst to have lost Noel. He doesn't want to meet his mum now, but she came all the way to see him, so he shouldn't cancel their dinner.

Cameron steps inside of 'Rosie's', the restaurant they arranged to meet, his heart pounds extremely fast in his chest. Today he wanted to tell her about Noel. How happy he is, to finally have found his soulmate. He can't believe how lucky he is to have such an incredible, funny, intelligent, talented and gorgeous boyfriend. If he is still allowed to call him like that.

But can he still do that at all? Can he tell his mother about him after the fight they just had? Fuck, instead of pushing Noel, he should have encouraged him and should have showed him that he would be there for him, no matter what, when Noel is ready to burst the bomb infront of his parents and friends.

Man, Noel really deserves better.

Cameron lets his head and shoulders hang low, as he walks to the table, where his mother is waiting for him.

“Honey!“ she calls, standing up from her chair and embracing him.

“Hey mum!“ he tries to sound happy, but he fails.

“What's wrong?“ she asks instantly and Cameron has to grin slightly. That's the thing with mothers, you can't hide anything from them, they know you better than you do.

Still, he tries to convince her the opposite. She shouldn‘t worry about him now, when she came all the way to spend a nice time with her son.

“Nothing. It's okay. Everything's fine!“ Cameron gives her his best smile, but she only huffs a laugh.

“Sweety, if you want me to believe that, you have to come up with something more. You look terrible! And I know that face. It's your 'my heart is broken'-face. So tell me, who is she and what has she done?“ Diane questions.

Fuck, he should have known, that there's no way to hide his pain infront of her. But he wanted to. His latest plan was to pretend that everything is fine, to not tell her about Noel, because he doesn‘t know if there still is something to tell her about, to go home and apologize a thousand times to Noel for his pussy behaviour and tell his mum another time about them. But now his plans have vanished into thin air. Shit, what should he do now?

“Uhm..I..Well.. uhm. It's not..uhm.. you know..“ WOW. He‘s doing a great job. Why is he an actor at all, if he can’t even act normally infront of his own mother?

“No I don't, Cam. I really don't know what's going on. Did she hurt you that bad?“ his mother sounds really worried.

“No. There's no _she_!“ Cameron says, surprised at the words that come out of his mouth.

“No? So you don’t suffer from heartsickness? I was so sure that you were in love with someone, as happy as you sounded at our last conversation!“ she asserts visibly astonished, that her maternal abilities may have failed.

“Well yeah..“ he says, not knowing how to continue.

Should he tell her, that he found the love of his life and that it's a man? That it's the man, he is also in love with on screen? That he never was this happy before and now that he is, he fucked up. He wanted so badly to tell the world about his luck. He wanted everyone to know, that Noel Fisher is his boyfriend, and only his. He wanted to tell them, that he's the luckiest fucking guy on earth and that love is something beautiful. That it makes you strong and complete. But due to the endorphines, which sweep through his body like a whirlwind everytime Noel is around, he fucked up, because he wanted too much. And maybe he just lost the love of his life because of this. And with him his own life...

He really doesn't know how to go on and explain this shit, when he suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks up, green melting in blue.

“Hey. Sorry I'm late.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAD to use this Mickey line, can you blame me? :)
> 
> How'd you like it?
> 
> XXX


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, I'm sorry to say it, but this is it..  
> It's not necessarily the end of their story, but for now it's the end for me.
> 
> I'm moving and I won't have time during the next two month to write. But maybe, if you let me know how you liked the story so far, and have any ideas of how to go on, I'll pick their storyline up again.
> 
> It was a pleasure to write this and I'm so happy and so grateful that you've stuck with it all the way, patiently waiting for this conclusion (I hope it's to your satisfaction), and your loving words and feedback are the reason I've been able to keep writing. So thank you, and enjoy <3
> 
> One last time with a lot of smut for you ;)
> 
> A special thanks to LuckyShaz, who helped me with my grammar and my mode of expression. Girl, you kept me going! :-*

(CAMERON'S POV)

Cameron isn't sure if he can trust his eyes, as he feels some tears of relief fill up his eyes.

Fucker! It only needs four little words, which by the way were stolen from Mickey fucking Milkovich, to turn his world upside down. Cameron hates that Noel has such power over him. He hates, that he loves it. GOD, he loves the feelings this man is able to produce out of him.

“Ah, you're Noel Fisher, right? Ian's lover on Shameless. You are also here to meet someone?“ Diane, Cameron's mum asks and Cameron recognizes, that this time her maternal skills fail completely. She has no clue.

“Yes ma‘am. He is here to meet you. And me.“ Cameron replies, wondering if this was already enough indication.

“Hello Mrs. Monaghan, nice to meet you!“ Noel says, extending his hand to Diane, which she takes flattered.

“Please, call me Diane. Nice to meet you. I just know Jeremy, Emma and Shanola from Shameless, so it's nice to know another one of my boy’s friends.“

Cameron clears his throat, while Noel takes a seat beside him.

“Yeah no..uhm.. Noel lives with me in the apartment, you know?“ Cameron begins hesitantly.

“Ah.. so you finally got a roommate, huh?“ Diane asks, destroying Cameron's hopes, that she'll put two and two together.

Cameron doesn't know where to start, or how. Suddenly he feels Noel's hand on his thigh, soothing him with the little circles he is making with his thumb. This is all Cameron needs. To have Noel here beside him makes him strong. He can do this. THEY can do this.

He takes a deep breath, before speaking up. “No mum. He's not my roommate. Well at least not _only_ a roommate. “Cameron looks his mother deep in the eyes. He may have stopped explaining to her with his mouth, but his eyes let her know everything she needs to understand.

“Oh. OH. Okay. Uhm.. so you're... you're...“ she stammers, and Cameron helps her out.

“Gay, yes!“

Cameron can't deny that the confusion in her eyes hurt him a little. Although he can't blame her. Not long ago he was the one who was confused as hell. He looks to Noel, in those beautiful blue eyes, knowing that they would calm him down. And as he sees a smile tugging at the corner of Noel's mouth, he reminds himself that it's all worth it.

This man is so worth it!

“Wow. How long have you known?“ Diane asks, looking at him with soft eyes and Cameron feels himself relaxing a little bit.

“That I'm gay? Not too long ago. The only thing I know is that I fell head over heels for him the moment he entered the room for a table read in season 7.“ Cameron explains.

Noel squeezes his hand on his thigh and Cameron feels him looking at his face. “I felt the same.“ the black haired man mumbles, his gaze lowered briefly, before looking with complete certainty into Diane's eyes.

“Is that why you’ve been acting weird, since you came in here? Were you afraid of telling me?“ she questions, stretching out her hand for Cameron to take.

Cameron decides, to not let her know about their fight that day while interlacing his fingers with his mother's. “Yeah, I think so.“ he whispers, letting his head drop.

He notices her standing up and looks up to her in wonder. Is she leaving now? But before his angst can start to grow, she pulls him up and into a tight hug. “My boy. My sweet boy. As long as you're happy I am too!“ she whispers in his ear and Cameron feels a tear running down his chees, as the whole tension of the day disappears.

“So you're okay with that?“ he asks, hardly audible as he murmurs it in her neck.

“Of course. I mean, I need some time to get used to this, but I am backing you all the way!“ she encourages him, loosening from the embrace and turning to Noel to also pull him up for a hug. “I stand behind the both of you“ she adds.

Cameron feels his chest swelling with happiness. The two people he loves the most, are loving him back. If they wouldn't be in public right now, he would lean towards Noel and kiss him, apologizing for his reaction before, convincing him, that he'll always be there for him, just as Noel is here for him right now.

But this has to wait until they are back home. At their home, where he lives with Noel together now. The flutter in his stomach spreads through his whole body.

“Okay now, let's order some dinner and then tell me your whole story. But please skip the things a mother doesn't need to know!“ Diane chuckles, sitting down on her chair again, opposite the two men, who are totally gone for one and another.

 

 

“This was nice, I really enjoyed meeting you Noel! Thanks for making my boy happy!“ Diane says, embracing Noel one more time.

“Thanks,“ Noel mumbles “it was nice to meet you too!“

Diane tells them goodbye after three hours of chattering and giggling. They had a really good time together and Cameron still can't believe his luck - Noel seems to have forgiven his stupid reaction from before and his mother supports them the best she can.

Diane breaks the hug and turns to Cameron. “And now to you: Never be afraid of telling me something again! I'm your mother and I love you with all my heart. I'll always be backing you all the way, no matter what! And as long as you're happy, I am too!“, she says, kissing him on the cheek and pulling him into an embrace, before she turns around to leave, waving them goodbye once more.

Noel and Cameron stand side by side, before sitting down again and finishing their drinks.

“Thanks for coming and supporting me.“ Cameron says. “I didn't know if I was gonna see you again, after I behaved like some prick.“ he adds.

“Cam, you didn't behave like a prick. I was the idiot. It was never my intention to hurt you and I promise that I'll talk to my parents soon.“ Noel responds.

Wow, how did Cameron even deserve this man?

“And maybe you wanna meet them too? I mean, if you have time and don't have to leave.“ Noel adds and Cameron furrows his brows.

“Why should I leave now?“ he doesn't get what Noel is saying.

“I saw your packed boxes in the dressing room. Looked like you are leaving soon.“ Noel says.

  
Cameron can't hide the smile spreading over his face. God, he is so sweet. Sweet and innocent little Noel.

“I cleared some of my stuff out to make room for yours. I won't leave now. My next shoot for 'Anthem' starts at the earliest of March. You’re not getting rid off me earlier!“ Cameron grins and his heart speeds up, as he sees Noel's reaction over his words - pure relief is spreading all over his body, his smile reaches from one ear to another.

“And Noel, I'm so sorry, that I haven't said or done this before, but I will support you as best as I can. Take your time, I won't push you anymore, I promise.“ Cameron reassures him, leaning forward and whispering a soft “I love you.“ in Noel's ears.

“Okay, get up!“ Noel orders, as he jumps from his chair.

“Wait, what? Can I finish my beer first?“ Cameron asks perplexed.

“In a jiffy! Just follow me, come on!“ Noel sounds determined, heading to the toilet room.

Okay.. Cameron doesn't know what Noel has in mind, but he is willing to follow him everywhere, so why not start with the toilet room?

He gets up and catches up with Noel as they enter the room. Cameron can hear some toilet flushing, before the man exits his cell, nodding towards the boys, who are pretending to wash their hands. For whatever reason. Cameron just mirrors Noel's actions.

When the man is outside the door, and the both of them are alone, Noel pulls Cameron with him in one cabin, shutting the door right behind them.

Cameron is still a little confused. “Okay why are we in the toilet together?“ he asks, although he can imagine what comes next.

“Because I don't want to wait until we are at home to kiss you.“ Noel smiles, wrapping his hands behind Cameron's neck to pull him down into a deep kiss.

Their tongues dance inside and outside their mouths, as if they were exploring this space for the first time. Noel keeps crawling the place between Cameron's neck and his hairline, while biting and sucking on his lips.

Shit, Cameron can feel his dick growing in his pants and puts his hands on Noel's hips to bring him closer.

“Okay, let's go home!“ Noel decides, the door already half open.

“What? Come on! I can't go outside this classy restaurant with a fucking boner in my pants, visible to everyone!“ Cameron explains, voice heavy with lust.

Noel chuckles, putting his hands infront of his mouth and looking down on the tent in Cameron's pants. “I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention. I just wanted to kiss you!“ he says, still hiding his laugh behind his hand.

“Hahaha, keep laughing! You can't descend on me like this and then rush out as if nothing has happened! You know that I go rock hard in only a few seconds under your touch, asswipe!“ Cameron whispers through gritted teeth.

Noel seems to have recognized his plight. “Okay, shall I help you? Take care of you a little bit?“ he asks, sliding his hand in Cameron's pants, gripping his hard dick through the fabric of his boxers and stroking it slowly.

As soon as Noel's hand is on Cameron's cock, the younger one lets out a quiet moan, tilting his head back onto the door. “ _Fuck_ “ he mumbles, almost silently, only recognizeable by the way his lips are forming the word. Noel smiles, and Cameron can tell he is feeling the pleasure running through his whole body.

Noel checks if the door is locked and sinks down onto his knees, taking Cameron's pants and boxers down in one swoop.

“So fucking hot.“ Noel whispers as he strokes Cam's cock, licking his lips in joyful anticipation and Cameron looks down again, needs to see his boyfriend giving him everything he's asking for.

It only needs Noel ghosting his lips over the head of Cameron's dick for him to start trembling in his knees, barely able to keep standing.

As Noel licks over the slit, sucking the precome out of it, Cameron puts a fist in his mouth, to hold himself from moaning loudly, a low grunt escaping his mouth anyway. He squeezes his eyes shut at the sensation of Noel bobbing his head up and down his shaft in a slow rhythm. Cameron knows for a fact, that he isn't going to last long, but that is probably for the better, reminding himself that they are in the toilet of a public and highly regarded restaurant.

Just as Noel wraps his hand around the part of Cameron's cock that he can't fit into his mouth and starts stroking simultaneously to sucking, both boys hear the bathroom door fling open, as two men enter the room chatting.

Cameron bites hard onto his fist, restraining himself from letting out a loud cry of pleasure, Noel freezing in his actions with Cameron's cock deep in his mouth. Noel looks up to his younger boyfriend, never letting go of his cock, as they hear the men unzipping their pants, taking a piss, while keeping up their conversation about the women they are obviously dating tonight.

Cameron can't take his eyes off his boyfriend, the picture of Noel with his cock in his mouth is enough to keep egging him on and pulling him closer to the edge. Noel smiles as he starts sliding his tongue around Cameron's dick.

Fuck, he needs to stop or Cameron is going to come with a loud groan while the strangers are practically besides them.

Cameron shakes his head, implying for Noel to stop his actions, but the older one seems to enjoy the teasing. He starts sucking harder as he bobs his head with more frevor.

Shit Noel is doing all the right things with his tongue, causing him to pant silently in his fist, his chest heaving hard with lust. He‘s driving him insane, god it's too fucking much for him to handle.

He swirls his free hand in Noel's hair, tugging at it to make him stop, although he wants nothing more than to lose himself in the pleasure Noel is giving him. But it doesn't work.

While the two men, flush their piss down and zipp their pants back up, Noel goes down deeper, Cameron's tip of his dick touching Noel's throat.

Shit, he feels his orgasm coming, as his whole body starts trembling, his stomach contracts, the feeling overwhelming him completely. There's no way he can suppress it any longer, although he tries as best as he can.

The two men turn on the water tap, washing their hands and although Cameron resolves to come silently, he knows he has no chance. The way Noel sucks him off is too much for him to handle. Cameron feels the hot jizz rushing through his rock hard cock, close to the exit, while his balls are contracting almost painfully.

As he looks down on his beautiful boyfriend, the game is over for him. He knows he can't hold it back, he has to let go, his dick exploding every second, tearing him into millions of pieces.

He removes the fist from his mouth to punch in the wall, letting out a heavy moan as quiet as possible, as he shoots his load deep down Noel's throat.

“ _FUCK_ “ he whispers once again, his torso bending over Noel's head, as his orgasm takes over him, too intense to keep standing straight, his knees so weak, he is sure they won't carry him through the waves, which don't seem to ebb away.

Noel sucks further, swallowing everything Cameron has to give, his hands holding the younger one's hips firmly, to keep him from falling.

Although Cameron was in trance through his whole orgasm, he really tried to be as silent as possible. But the punch in the wall and the “Aaaah“ sounds during his high seemed to stop the men in their action of drying their hands. Cameron can hear one of them clearing his throat, whispering a quiet “Come on, let's get out of here!“ to his friend, before exiting the bathroom, and leaving Cameron a trembling mess above his lover.

“Fuck you!“ Cameron breathes with a smile on his lips, rolling back up and leaning against the wall.

“You're welcome!“ Noel jokes as he gets up and wipes the little amount of Cameron's cum, that's left over at the corner of his mouth, off with his thumb.

“You had fun watching me struggle to keep myself together?“ It's rather a fact than a question Cameron says, while zipping his pants back up.

“As you can see!“ Noel raises one eyebrow, pointing with his index fingers to the boner in his pants.

Cameron can't help the smile spreading all over his face. He loves when Noel teases him, as boarderline painful as it sometimes is, it's still hot. But to see how much Noel is turned on from his own teasings, is FUCKING hot!

“If you think I'll lift a finger to help you, after what you did, you're way off.“ he whispers with a teasing smile, as he sticks out his tongue and turns around to unlock the door. He takes a look to the left and the right and steps outside, washing his hands and hearing Noel mumbling a soft “Fuck you Monaghan!“ behind him.

He is so in love with this man!

 

 

 

(NOEL'S POV)

Noel wakes up from a prickle in his stomach, a soft moan escaping his parted lips. He doesn't need to think about why his body is covered in goosebumps at fucking seven o'clock in the morning. It's not the first time Cameron wakes him up with kisses placed along his neck, his hand travelling up and down his chest as he presses his erection against Noel's ass.

Fuck, he thought living with Cameron would be great, but it's so much more than that. It's awesome, breathtaking and also sheer torment. At the smallest of his touches, his dick cries for more attention, getting painfully hard, pleading for some release.

And Cameron knows it. He fucking knows what he can do to him, knows that he can make him beg to get fucked. Noel is like a marionette in Cameron's hands, but there is no one whom he would trust more to have such a power over him.

Cameron knows what is going to happen, as he presses his body against the back of Noel, rubbing his hard dick up and down Noel's ass cheeks and moaning in Noel's ears. He knows, that Noel won't say no, although it's the third time since they went to bed yesterday.

“Again?“ Noel manages to breath between his soft and eratic moans.

He feels one of Cameron's hand wandering from his chest to his crotch, brushing his way down only with his fingertips, which causes Noel to shake with pleasure. The younger boy wraps his hand around Noel's painfully hard cock and starts stroking it so fucking slowly. Noel arches his head back at Cameron's shoulders as he groans lowly.

“If you don't want to, just tell me to stop and I'll do it.“ Cameron continues to whisper with hot breath in Noel's ears, before kissing his sensitive spot right under it, while pumping him at an almost torturing slow pace.

“Don't..“ is all Noel's lips are able to produce between sharp gasps.

Noel feels like his heart is going to burst, like if the world would end now, it wouldn't matter, because the only thing that matters is right behind him, lifting Noels thigh, guiding it back to let it rest on his own for a better access. Cameron puts two fingers on Noel's mouth, indicating that he should suck them, making it slick with salvia, before putting them to his entrace, checking if he is already loose enough from their sex before.

When Noel feels those two fingers pushing in and scissoring inside, he is barely able to choke out a gasp. Noel reaches with one hand behind, reaching for Cameron's neck to pull him closer. The redhead kisses slowly up the side of his neck and nibbles at his earlobe, while he keeps stroking and opening him.

“I just can't get enough of you. Everytime I wake up and see you lying beside me, I get hard, longing to touch you.“ Cameron breathes, pulling his fingers out of him. “I need you. I need _this_!“ with the emphasis on the last word Cameron pushes all the way in until he bottoms out, both moaning and panting at the sensation.

Noel feels a light burn, because they haven't used lube. Though he is loose enough and wet from Cameron's fingers. His body shudders around Cameron with the pleasure of being full.

“ _Fuck_ “ Noel breathes and cocks his head to brush their lips together, the taste of his mouth bringing him closer to the edge. Their tongues fight for dominance, as Noel's hands run along Cameron's back down over his ass, pulling him to feel him even deeper.

Both escape moans as they move in a perfect sync. Cameron's strokings on Noel's dick adapt to their pace, still slow but the thrusts are deeper and more intense, making both of them a trembling mess. Cameron bites down on Noel's neck, whispering “So good.“ into it. The sound of his voice alone sends a shivering wave through Noel's body.

Cameron's free hand grips him tighter, as he moves wildly behind Noel, his body suffocating the older one in the most delicious way. Every cell in Noel's body is going crazy with the combination of rough poundings and soft and slow strokings.

“Oh shit!“ Noel moans, losing himself completely in Cameron's work.

“Good?“ Cameron sounds a little worried, knowing that it's the first time they‘re doing it without lube.

Noel bites down his lip, overwhelmed by the pleasure Cameron is giving him with each thrust. “Yeah“ he breathes “as always so fucking perfect!“

Cameron responds in a moan, kissing his boyfriend hungrily, before he raises up to his knees, hunching his body over Noel's side, beginning to drill into him with immediate fervor, "So tight for me, fuck," He grunts as he slams into him, "You take it so good, always giving me what I need. _Shit_."

Hearing the words out of his lover's mouth, gives Noel so much satisfaction, although Cameron let go of his cock, focused on pouding into him relentlessly.

To see Cameron's face wincing in pleasure, head dropped back, eyes closed, mouth open to let out quiet cries of delight, makes Noel's heart stutter. It feels so good to be able to give him what he needs - although Cameron just takes it this time. Noel's breath is growing more ragged and choppy by the moment, relishing in both the sensations and the knowledge that his boyfriend can't get enough of him.

As Cameron starts giving pointed pulses to his prostate, Noel can't hold back the pleasured noises he emits. This is too much and he needs Cameron to bring him back to earth. He grabs him behind his neck to connect their lips once again, Noel gasps into his mouth at his latest plunge and Cameron nips at Noel's bottom lip, pulling it out a bit so that he can slip his tongue deep into his mouth. The embrace is eager, and Noel can tell that this is what home smells like.

Cameron starts stroking Noel's dick again, the electricity that shoots through Noel's body with every thrust and every stroke makes him cry out in pleasure.

“Cam, I... I... _fuck_!“ he isn't able to speak properly. At this level of pleasure, his mind is only capable of producing single words, not interrelated sentences. Cameron dispossesses him of his sanity. Even though he would like to tell him that there is nothing better, nothing more exciting and breathtaking to him than to feel him deep inside himself, without any barrier. It's like an addiction that he never wants to get clean from. Sex with Cameron is the best excitement he can imagine, every time he loses himself in this intense feeling.

Noel closes his eyes and licks his lips as Cameron rocks into him, hands looped tightly around his waist.

Noel knows he won't last any longer, so he starts clenching around Cameron's cock, knowing that this would drive the younger one insane. And so it is - Cameron moans loudly as he begins to snap his hips at a punishing cadence, the bed rocking with his rhythm. He is pounding right into his prostate and stroking him. “Holy shit!“ he breathes, his voice getting higher with every syllable, as he rails into Noel's tight hole. “Fuck Noel, so good, I can't -“.

The redhead grips one of Noel's hips hard, sure that his grasp would leave marks. Sweat begins to bead on his brow as he works Noel so good the brunet emiting guttural groans.

“Come for me!“ Cameron demands, bending down to meet Noel for a desperate and hungry kiss. The sounds of aggressive sucking and violent skin slapping fill the room, as Cameron drills hard against Noel's sweet spot.

Noel isn't able to respond, a bossy Cameron is always too much to handle for him. The needy and rough sound of his voice alone, pulls him extremely close to the edge, he doesn't need a lot more to finish. He breaks the kiss to gasp for air.

Cameron uses this time to repeat his demand. “Can you do that? Huh? Come for me, come on, I need to feel you coming. _Aaaah_..!“ Cameron himself is about to explode any second, what can be said on the basis of his trembling breathing.

“Yeah“ Noel barely manages to say, feeling the heat rising in his gut, spreading over his whole body. He stops breathing and moving, mouth gaping open, eyes squeezing shut, as his orgasm hits him good and hard.

That is all Cameron needs to finish. “Oh fuck yes! So good for me, so good!“ he screams, hips beginning to stutter, his whole body spasming, as he shoots his hot load deep into Noel, with one last hard thrust and then mumbling Noel's name over and over.

Together they ride out their orgasm, Cameron still making slow and little movements, while they come down from their high. They both know they still need to feel each other a little longer after they've reached the climax. Cameron never pulls out fast after their sex, so he stays inside and leans down, kissing Noel so soft, he is sure his chest is ready to explode any second.

God damn, so this is how mornings with Cameron will be from now on - waking up to see the love of his life first and then having damn good morning sex. Noel really thought he'd been super happy with Layla, but life with Cameron is on another level of bliss, nothing to compare with.

He is so blessed to have him as a boyfriend. Every day he has to understand it anew.

“Good morning!“ Cameron whispers hotly against his lips.

“Hey!“ Noel repeats, going after those perfect red lips to get them back for another long kiss.

“You're so fucking beautiful, you know that?“ Cameron smiles and Noel feels himself blushing. He hides his face in the crook of Cameron's neck.

“Shut up!“ he mumbles, his voice dulled through Cameron's skin.

“No, it's true. Why do you think I can't get enough of you? It's hard waking up to a sleeping beauty and not getting hard.“ Cameron chukles, his dick slowly getting limb inside his boyfriend. But to feel him still deep inside, combined with Cameron's hot cum, is something so special and so hot, Noel can't tell if he has ever felt so close to someone before. He surely has never felt so exposed in his sex life before, as he does everytime he has sex with Cameron. But he trusts him completely, which makes it just more intense and beautiful.

After another long and soft kiss, Cameron pulls out and gets up. He takes the towel from beside the bed and cleans Noel and his still exposed hole.

“Could have cleaned you with my tongue, you know? But you look like you need a break!“ Cameron smiles and Noel feels the adrenalin pumping through his veins.

“Jesus Cameron, how much younger than me are you? Like twenty years? Are you still going through puberty or something?“ Noel chuckles, stunned by Cameron's sexual greed. It's not like he isn't horny all the time he is around his boyfriend, the lust to savage him is back again (or more precisely never went away). But he's doubting that he can get hard yet again, and his hole may need a time without Cameron in it - sad as it may be.

“Told you, can't get enough of you“ Cameron leans down for a short kiss, before turning around to leave. “Come on tough guy, let's brush our teeth to get rid of our morning breaths, before I make us some breakfast!“ he adds, before disappearing through the door.

Yeah, this man is amazing, and Noel will do anything to prove his love to him every god damn day.

He picks up his phone from the nightstand drawer next to him and scrolls through his contacts, before pushing the 'Call' button.

It rings. _Once_. He can hear Cameron turning on the water-tap. _Twice_. Sounds like Cameron is already fumbling around his mouth with his toothbrush. _Three times_. “Are you coming, or do I have to help your old lazy ass out of the bed?“ the voice approaches closer. _Four times_.

“Hello?“

“Hey mum.“ Noel says lowly, as Cameron appears in the door frame again, toothpaste dripping off his mouth, open wide eyes glued to his.

“Oh hey Noel. Everything okay? Can't remember the last time you called this early!“ he hears his mother speaking with a hint of concern.

“Yeah, everything's fine, don't worry. I just wanted to know if you and dad are home this weekend? I...“ he pauses for a short moment, looking into Cameron's eyes with nothing less than love and certainty.

“I wanted to introduce you to someone really special!“ Noel brings it up, trying to read Cameron's thoughts, who looks a little shocked first. But then he sees the corner of his mouth reaching up, giving Noel the brightest und purest smile, he has ever seen.

His smile is brighter than the sun, more electrified than any fence, more special than any memory, more valuable than any amount of money. Nothing can please him more than this smile. Noel knows, that a lot of people would do anything to be with him. But what's matters most, is that he is his, every piece of him. No matter what happens in their lives, what happens if they come out to the whole world. Friends may leave, jobs may get less and money may run short. But no matter what, they would have each other.

 _Always_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it!
> 
> Please leave comments and/or kudos and tell me what you think about it.
> 
> Thanks again - all my love <3
> 
> XXX
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: The sequel is online now. You can find it as part 3 of this series!


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